Posted on 08/05/2008 1:39:53 PM PDT by firehat
2008 A.D.
THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT THE MUCK ©
by Norman Liebmann
It may be time to delete the phrase on the Statue of Liberty “Send me your huddled masses”. America is already over-huddled and over-massed.
Nancy “Grossie” Pelosie, that unsightly bulge in the House of Representatives, declared, “I am trying to save the planet”. She promises to get on it first thing in the morning. (Change of life strikes again!)
Welfare is the Liberals' way of telling God they are sick and tired of picking up after Him.
The most precipitous decline in American history is from Mount Vernon to Mount Kilimanjaro. If not for Ernest Hemingway nobody would know Mount Kilimanjaro from Mount Molehill.
The good old days: There was a time when a same-sex relationship only meant two people in the same mood at the same time.
The reason minorities always vote Democrat is because they hope one day the Democrats will find a way to make sex a welfare benefit.
Barack Obama’s apologizing for America to foreign despots is no more seemly than it would be for the NAACP’s apologizing to the KKK.
Israel must eventually come to the conclusion that sadness is too much a part of the Jewish legacy, and anger is not enough.
If the voters would get rid of Boxer and Feinstein, the Great I Am might quit setting fire to their state of California.
The Nazis needed an army to invade Europe. The Arabs only had to wait for a nice day to saunter in.
San Francisco will legalize prostitution. Mayor Gavin Newsom will read the announcement by reading it off a new device called a telepimper.
For Obama, happiness is finding a reason to tell Europeans America is sorry.
For apparent reasons taking a shot of cocaine is now called “a Mexifix”.
Al Gore has a perfect DNA match with an anvil. Irrespective of what Gore says, when your hot, your hot, and when you’re not you’re not. We don’t need someone to tell the world to sweat on cue.
Turn Nancy Pelosi upside down and you’re looking at an Arab.
The Russians are going to explore its deepest freshwater lake – perhaps to see if they can find where the Bolsheviks dumped Anastasia Romanov’s body.
If Emil Zola were alive today, Border Patrolmen Ignacio Ramos and Jose Campean would be free and George Bush would be in the Oval Cell on Devil’s Island.
With regard to all the whoopee over Barack Obama in Berlin, as I recall, the last German role model had a moustache - and the resemblance doesn’t end there.
Either Hillary has had too many free lunches on the campaign trail, or her pants suits have been fitted with saddle bags.
There is something relentlessly and unpleasantly adolescent about Sean Penn.
There are indications many gays in Vermont are retreating “into the closet”. The state’s thrift shops are showing an increased inventory in wands. Nevertheless, Vermont remains gender-indefinite and residents are obliged to use the Restroom of Opportunity.
Barack Obama is not an appeaser. He just left his spine in his other suit.
President Bush's de facto legitimization of amnesty is the beginning of Western Balkanization.
Affirmative Action ends in Affirmative Graduation.
Whatever the Senatorial equivalent of a benchwarmer is, Obama performs that function.
Environmentalists find that the principal defect of the SUV is that Americans like it.
The Democrats are not trying to circumnavigate the Constitution. They are merely trying to “jump start” the Inquisition.
Barack Obama can’t decide which to do first - throw people under the bus or take matters off the table.
John McCain is a team player - which team is not yet apparent. The Democrats hope McCain will continue doing whatever he is doing and quit when it looks as if it may work.
Let us hope that come Election Day America will decide that being black is just not enough.
McCain is blaming Wall Street for the sub-prime real estate mess. His next book probably will be called How to Lose Friends and Alienate People.
At this time of his life Bill Clinton can expect nothing from inside his jock except an echo.
Whatever the political circumstances, the NAACP seems to believe the tribe comes first.
There is a unique opportunity at hand to snatch defeat from the jaws of defeat. If anybody can do it, McCain can.
The Iraqis always forget to say “thanks”.
Has the Clinton Library had a visitor yet?
Al Gore will address the United Nations demanding they pass a resolution repealing the change of seasons.
Obama is not so much an Afro-American as he is an Afro-African.
The religion of Islam makes the case for atheism seem reasonable.
We better get ready for a President whose roots are in Kenya. It could be worse. They could be in Arkansas.
John McCain’s decision on who will be his running mate has narrowed down to either Penn or Teller.
Hollywood is considering Wesley Snipes to portray Barack Obama. The studio promised the part is his - as soon as he gets sprung.
The Democrats are the party of economic strangulation – in case you are wondering who it is that is standing on the nation’s esophagus.
The measure of compassionate conservatism is how quickly it yields to the blackmail of minority demands.
Is that photograph making the rounds on the Internet Barack Obama’s family or a reunion of Alan Quartermain’s last safari? Another Obama brother came out of the woodwork. Does it seem as though every few days Obama’s tribe gets bigger? Maybe we should follow them and see what they eat.
Environmentalist cite as evidence of global warming that it doesn’t take as long to burn down an igloo as it used to. Nevertheless, Eskimos are still God’s frozen people.
Obama has convinced the hoi polloi it’s handy to have a second language in which you don’t know what you’re talking about.
The power of the press lies not in the information it can disseminate but in the information that it can suppress.
Barack Obama shows just how far immodesty can carry you.
Michele Obama has all the warmth and charm of a prison matron who is off her “meds”.
The Russian people never feel comfortable unless some despot has his foot on their throat.
The media sees itself as a religion from whose observances they are exempt.
The flower children of the ‘sixties would have been another Hitler Youth if they could have been induced to wash or trained to walk in step.
Obama works from a teleprompter. He can hardly wait to read what he’s going to say next.
We must yield to the politically correct use of “the N word” – except where Pastor Jeremiah Wright is concerned. Americans in their infinite knowledge and taste will know whether he is to be called that or not.
A nuclear attack on America could not produce a consensus in Congress to declare war.
The care and nurturing of minorities has changed from America’s hobby into a Democrat obsession. If the minorities started taking care of themselves would the American economy thrive and the Feds break down in tears?
The Mexican foreign policy begins at the American border. Its only precept is that it is the gringos’ turn to pick the strawberries.
If slaves had put their backs into it they might still have their jobs on the plantation.
Barack Hussein Obama proved you can take the man out of the Minaret but you can’t take the minaret out of the man.
The main cause of death among Arab teenage girls is their fathers finding out they’re beginning to notice boys. (It is estimated Arab women are living in the eleventh century. It’s amazing the way time stands still when you’re not having fun.)
Occasionally callers to the Rush Limbaugh Show accuse him of not doing enough. When discrediting Democrats, there’s no such thing as “enough”.
John McCain is still carrying moderation to excess.
The Obamas are a Pomposity Atrocity. They may soon run out of people to whom to condescend. The elitist Obamas are remarkable examples of manicured ignorance.
John McCain unloaded Phil Gramm. He didn’t know Gramm was against off-shore whining.
Obama will bring a Tuskegee Airman out retirement to pilot Air Force One. Chauvinism takes to the air.
The Senate is considering hiring a traffic cop to make sure John McCain doesn’t reach across the aisle against the lights.
It’s time to get rid of the Soul Train – and start up The Coal Train.
The DNA results are finally back from the lab. The stains on Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress are definitely not Hollandaise sauce.
For the Democrats there’s good news and bad news. (For them the bad news is the good news.)
Body language is a funeral director bickering with the next of kin over the cost of the interment - which is more interesting than that body language lady on O’Reilly.
Election year proverb: Stupidity is the mother of convention.
Commercials for Preparation H on television demonstrate that diversity does not cure hemorrhoids.
Barack has modified his stance about learning foreign languages. (If you can’t speak a foreign language you can at least speak English in a way that nobody will understand - like Jesse Jackson.)
Geraldo Rivera’s next book might well be called “War Is My Photo-Op”.
The Congress is suffering from a brain power outage. It is not temporary.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, California’s flip-flop Governor, has embraced Al Gore’s global wobbling. Arnold got his indoctrination in Hollywood where bullshit is king.
Where does Obama get off apologizing to the Berliners for America’s treatment of prisoners? Hey, Barack Baby, does the name Auschwitz ring a bell?
Harry Reid is a guy who was born to shut up.
NBC may offer time for Al Gore to debate a windmill.
Back in Arkansas Hillary made a hundred grand overnight in cattle futures. That would have taken Heidi Fleiss at least a month on her back.
Flush the entire Congress until they think of something.
Adding to the gender confusion, some prostitutes are calling themselves buy-sexuals.
If Al Gore would try hand-feeding polar bears, he’d get a whole different slant on how the eco-system actually works.
Checking the recent polls indicates Barack Obama may have sprung a leak in his charisma. Barack removed his flag pin for fear his lapel would burst into flames.
It looks like the Democrat campaign is concentrating on the peons and the “perps”.
The Pelosi Congress came in through the front door and brought 1929 in through the back door.
John McCain wants to be President – but not enough.
Delaware is a small state and, as long as Joe Biden is its Senator it is condemned to remain so.
People are lining up not to buy “Grossie” Pelosi’s book. As of this writing it is 1,437 on the Amazon list.
And this …
In 1863, writer Edward Everett Hale published a sad story called The Man Without a Country. The 2008 Presidential Candidates offer a sadder story - that America is now a country without a man.
***
This was pretty good. The funniest was “Al Gore should try hand-feeding polar bears and see how the eco-system really works” (words to that effect)
From the past: President Clinton’s press conferences were described as reporter obedience training.
ROTFLMAO!
Everything was stupendous until I read, “Turn Nancy Pelosi upside down...part. I nearly became sick to my stomach due to a really ugly visual (under her skirt). UGGHH!!!!
It should - his uncle liberated it.
< /sarcasm>
... and how the Germans treated our prisoners during WWII - waiting for that idiot to apologize to the Japanese for bombing Hiroshima (they’ve never apologized for Pearl Harbor or the way they treated Allied POW’s) ....
Off topic (Norman Liebman can be extremely funny), but isn’t it well established that in WWII the death rate for American POWs in German camps was around four percent, but over thirty percent of our POWs died at the hands of the Japs?
This disparity of course had a lot to do with the fact that hundreds of thousands of German POWs were in American hands at the same time. And the Japs didn’t believe in being taken prisoner in the first place.
As for the German POW’s in our hands - we paid them for the work they did - ours suffered in their factories ...
True on the Japanese - also the Japanese government refused Red Cross food for our POW’s ...
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