Test: How to tell if you’re a moonbat

Boston Herald ^ | August 3, 2008 | Howie Carr

[vietvet67]

I don’t own the word “moonbat,” but I have had custody of it for a good long while now, and there are a couple of misconceptions I’d like to clear up.

First, a moonbat is not something you want to be, even in Arlington, where they have begun selling T-shirts that say, “Menotomy Moonbats.” Hey moonbats, lose the bat logo. Truth in advertising requires you to put on the front of your moonbat shirts a photo of Sen. Jim Marzilli, your hero, the perv in a Prius, with these words underneath:

“Sen. Marzilli Groped Me and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt.”

Instead, they try to redefine the word itself into a positive. As one Arlington moonbat told the Arlington Advocate, “A ‘moonbat’ is someone who’s willing to be a little bit of a dreamer.”

His dream, our nightmare.

Second, despite what you may have heard Friday morning on the Fox News Channel segment that I was on, there is no such thing as a “right-wing moonbat.” Some Air America type was just trying to give me the needle. Right-wing moonbats? That’s an oxymoron, like “sober judge” or “law-abiding illegal alien.”

Whoever says “right-wing moonbat” is full of guano.

For those who came in late, moonbats are trust-funded, medicated, middle-aged, white-guilt-ridden blogging lefty losers who inflicted Deval Patrick upon the working people. The moonbats now yearn to elect Sen. Barack Obama, a Deval on steroids.

If you are a guy with a ponytail, chances are you’re a moonbat - if you have a wide-brim leather hat too, the odds rise to 100 percent. If you’re a woman and you bring knitting to public meetings, consider yourself positively ID’ed.

[PajamaTruthMafia]

First, a moonbat is not something you want to be, even in Arlington, where they have begun selling T-shirts that say, “Menotomy Moonbats.”

[grey_whiskers]

If you look in the mirror and see this:

You might be a moonbat.

[mewzilla]

If you’re a woman and you bring knitting to public meetings...

Ruh roh. How about crochet?

[musicman]

"Test: How to tell if you’re a moonbat "

One way might be when someone "mentions" it to you?

[Tax-chick]

Cute!

[mewzilla]

Awwww. He’s kinda cute actually :)

[xmission]

He forgot: When a question is asked of you, you immediately change the subject to the “billions wasted in Iraq”, or “Bush Lied”

[Arrowhead1952]

...moonbats are trust-funded, medicated, middle-aged, white-guilt-ridden blogging lefty losers ...

That sentence describes 75% of people over 45 years of age living in Austin, Texas and 95% of UT students.

[Tax-chick]

95% of UT students are middle-aged? That’s novel!

[PajamaTruthMafia]

From the comment left at the Herald:

gordon115
Great column. I too was waiting to see all of the moonbat comments. Oh wait, the trust fund crowd doesn't get up this early. Keep up the good work Howie.

[Arrowhead1952]

No, 95% of the students at UT are moonbats.

[coolbreeze]

If the veggie bin in your fridge contains anything that say “ORGANIC!” and you paid 3 times the normal price for carrots, you be a moonbat!

[coolbreeze]

forgive the grammar...I BE HUKED ON FONIKS

[mewzilla]

No, 95% of the students at UT are moonbats.

Makes me think of this...

If you're not a liberal at twenty you have no heart, if you're not a conservative at forty you have no brain.

Winston Churchill

[bcsco]

If the veggie bin in your fridge contains anything that say “ORGANIC!” and you paid 3 times the normal price for carrots, you be a moonbat!

And you drove them home in your Volvo.

[andy58-in-nh]

Howie Carr bump.

[AnAmericanMother]

If you’re a woman and you bring knitting to public meetings, consider yourself positively ID’ed.

Does lazy-stitch beadwork count?

[Arrowhead1952]

if you're not a conservative at forty you have no brain.

Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill had it correct too. Problem in Austin is that the ove 45 crowd has no brains. Look who they elect to the "silly" council and local politicians i.e. DA ronnie earle and the like.

[scrabblehack]

Not being a Bostonian, I was unfamiliar with this term “menotomy.” I thought what might have been meant was “metonymy,” but then I see that it refers to Arlington, MA.

[bert]

I guess he was being nice because he left out drum beating, tamborine shaking, greasy headed, dingy clothed and wild eyed descriptives.

[libertarian27]

Howie at his finest.

I thought he did own the name ‘moonbat’
Who started it then?
I thought it was him.

[Tax-chick]

95% of the students at UT are moonbats.

That's more reasonable :-).

[Tax-chick]

How about sewing patches on Scout uniforms? I do that everywhere except church (and that’s because I’m leading the choir :-).

[Manic_Episode]

"if you have a wide-brim leather hat too, the odds rise to 100 percent."

========================================

Noooooooooooooo! That's my BBQing in the rain, fishing and sometimes blues guitarist hat.

[vietvet67]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moonbat

[par4]

If the veggie bin in your fridge contains anything that say “ORGANIC!” and you paid 3 times the normal price for carrots, you be a moonbat!

Can I get a waiver on this? I drive my Grand Cherokee 20+ miles round trip to get organic fruit and veggies for my parot (my wife and I don't eat the stuff, but the little yellow headed monster sure loves it). Oh, and it can't be Mexican grown either.

[Califreak]

[libertarian27]

Thanks for the wiki link.

The discussion page there is a hoot.
Moonbats defending their ‘rights’ not to be called Moonbats.

[Nick Danger]

[mnehring]

LoL. How to identify a moonbat, look at her car.

[mnehring]

If the veggie bin in your fridge contains anything that say “ORGANIC!” and you paid 3 times the normal price for carrots, you be a moonbat!

Or, you are a foodie. I am very guilty of having mostly organic veg in my fridge. Quality is ten times better.

[mnehring]

Moonbats write political children's books.

[TruthWillWin]

First car BV30TM = ???

[vietvet67]

LOL. Perfect!

Looks like his knees are scuffed up from begging OR _______________.

[Let's Roll]

“If you’re a woman and you bring knitting to public meetings...

Ruh roh. How about crochet? “

Macrame?

[andy58-in-nh]

So many nuts, so few psychiatrists....

[AnAmericanMother]

I'm driving everybody nuts carrying my wooden beading frame with me everywhere . . .

Next, making 100 horsehair trailers with white heart beads and brass cones . . . .

[Tax-chick]

The disaster potential with beads is high.

[ovrtaxt]

It’s rabbit season!

Duck season!

Rabbit season!

Barking Moonbat season!

BLAM!

[AnAmericanMother]

The disaster potential with beads is high.

Now you're tellin' Noah about the Flood! Especially when you have Siamese cats and Labrador Retrievers attending you while you bead . . .

I divide my beads into tiny zip lok bags, and just knock a few at a time out onto a little flocked beading board. Even then, I've had a couple of major spills and spent 10 minutes or so picking up beads with a dampened fingertip. These are no. 11 seed beads, so they're tiny and tenacious. You know where I've been beading because the vacuum cleaner makes a rattling noise as it goes over the carpet . . . .

[Tax-chick]

I’m familiar with that vacuum noise ...

[Jonah Hex]

If you are a guy with a ponytail, chances are you’re a moonbat...

Hey!?! I have a ponytail and I'm not a moonbat! (I thread my ponytail through my Navy ballcap, however...)

;-)

[AnAmericanMother]

It’s astounding what I find in the innards of the vacuum cleaner . . . what with not only my loony hobbies but my youngest who likes to disassemble things (and leave the tiny bits lying around).

[KosmicKitty]

Now, wait a minute

I bring my knitting pretty much everywhere & I am definitely NOT a moonbat!!

[6ppc]

[AnAmericanMother]

OK, just wanted to let you know that one’s been stolen . . . .

[6ppc]

OK, just wanted to let you know that one’s been stolen . . . .

LOL! I never claimed it was original! I'm a software developer, and the foundation of software development is plagiarism.

[AnAmericanMother]

"Amateur poets borrow. Mature poets steal."

- T.S. Eliot

[vietvet67]

Ahhh but your knitting is way beyond normal(I can tell) so you’re excluded as is my pet octopus who knits on average 47 sweaters a day. :-)