Posted on 06/23/2008 11:09:21 PM PDT by goldstategop
It is widely reported that women suffer depression at twice the rate of men. Apparently, more women are clinically depressed than ever before. On the assumption that these assessments are true, the question anyone interested in the subject -- which means anyone who cares about any woman -- asks is, why?
In a recent column I offered one explanation -- the impossibly high expectations for happiness that feminism created for many women.
There are other possible explanations.
One is the way in which many girls have been raised.
As every wise person and wise culture in history has known, it is impossible to attain any happiness without conquering one's nature. This is, of course, equally true for boys and girls, men and women. However, along with feminism arose a belief in the superiority of female nature. One result of this has been the suppressing of many male instincts -- both negative and positive -- along with little or no suppression of negative female instincts.
Societies and parents always knew that it was imperative to teach boys to control two aspects of their male nature -- their sexual desires and their predilection for violence. So all of us decent men were taught from a young age to touch a woman sexually only with her permission and to channel our physical aggression into sports or into helping to fight evil by joining a police force, or the military, or by being prepared to physically defend innocents. Men who did not learn to control these aspects of male nature not only became bad men, they became unhappy men. Happiness is attainable only when we control our nature and not when our nature controls us.
Societies and parents also always knew that it was imperative to teach girls to control their natures -- in particular their predilection to be ruled by their emotions. Women who allowed their emotions to rule them not only became destructive (to members of their families first and foremost), they became unhappy women.
However, with the advent of contemporary feminism and other social trends that coincided with the rise of feminism -- among them the elevation of compassion over standards, the great emphasis placed on feelings, the rejection of patriarchy and the devaluation of traditional masculine virtues (like subdued emotional expression) -- female nature came to be seen as far less in need of discipline than male nature.
So, while society continued to teach boys to control themselves, it stopped teaching girls to do so. Girls' emotions and feelings were inherently valuable. And denying this was attacked as sexist, if not misogynistic.
Consequently, the women many of these girls grew into lacked the ability to control their natures, to control their emotions, or their moods, and therefore lacked the facility to engage in the self-control necessary for happiness and the avoidance of depression.
Another aspect of feminism that has probably contributed to many women's unhappiness was the rejection of femininity. Feminism was more often the celebration of masculine virtues (for women only, alas) than the celebration of feminine virtues. The latter were usually dismissed as weak, passive, underachieving or even oppressive. There are scores of examples. One is the rejection of feminine dress -- a girl who attends class at almost any high school or college wearing a skirt or dress is an anomaly. Another is coarse speech. A generation ago, men refrained from using curse words in front of women. Today many young women curse as readily as men (I have probably seen more women than men drivers make an obscene gesture at other drivers). Such behaviors were inconceivable when women were expected to act feminine. And, of course, the "liberated" female's celebration of casual sex, throughout history associated with male nature, is the antithesis of femininity.
This loss of femininity may well have contributed to many women's depression. Though in our foolish age femininity is often identified with weakness, it was in fact empowering for many women, giving them a distinct power and identity that was unavailable to men. Women are not generally happy being largely indistinguishable from men.
Which brings us to yet another cause of unhappiness among women -- the effects of all the above on men. Women are generally happier when they have a good man in their lives. And by "good man," I mean not only devoted and kind, but masculine as well. Yet the prevailing egalitarian doctrines have conspired not only to undermine femininity in women but masculinity in many men. Just as women were supposed to forge feminine virtues, men were supposed to relinquish masculine virtues, which have been derided as sexist, oppressive, patriarchal and, therefore, anachronistic.
However, once again, things did not work out for many women as feminism had led them to expect they would. The dearth of masculine men has not brought most women happiness, but unhappiness. Those who do not believe this should simply ask single adult women looking for a husband what their greatest problem is with the men they meet. "They are not men," is the single greatest lament. Not "they are not egalitarian enough" or "not sensitive enough."
And women without men are not, as the old feminist saying went, fish without bicycles. They are women without men.
The 1960s ushered in The Age of Hubris, a time of almost unprecedented levels of conceit that one knew better than all previous generations how to order life, that almost everything inherited from the past was just plain wrong and outdated. For this hubris we have paid, and will continue to pay, a steep price. And many women, untrained in subduing darker aspects of their natures, deprived of the female joy of femininity and increasingly deprived of men (as opposed to boys), are feeling the brunt of these losses. They call it depression.
"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus
This isn't rocket science.
"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus
Huh. Who knew?
Oh, wait...there's a BOOK which explained this in great detail...let me get back to you when I think of the name of that BOOK.
FMCDH(BITS)
"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus
Because they are too dumb to figure out that Obama and/or McLaim will give them Universal Health Care anyway..
If you think health care is expensive now, just wait until it's 'free'- PJ O'Rourke
I know.....I'm deeply saddened...
FMCDH(BITS)
A cursory glance at the "Lifetime" TV channels has demonstrated everything I need to know.
Nothing but "oppressive" men and "victim" women twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
Just the other day at my local Target store, I observed a mother telling her son that he is not allowed to have a 1:18 scale Bradley Fighting Vehicle because "war is bad!"
Sheesh. Twenty-Five years ago, GI Joe's Real American Hero line dominated my generation's action figure market.
Now, it seems as though Spongebob, Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Goh have since taken over.
Feminism has poisoned much of society. If they had quit after Roe versus Wade, when they got their way on abortion, perhaps we wouldn’t be in this position. But these hideous pressure groups can never be satisfied. Now, to even look at a woman in the workplace can be considered sexual harassment. Their whims equal what a man can be charged with. I faced it in 1999 for kissing a woman on the cheek. She charged me over it a full year after I kissed her with what used to be called a “peck” at Christmas. We were friends at one time, but she got mad at me and boom, there it was. It doesn’t have to be coherent for them to make a man’s life miserable. I was cleared at the earliest level of investigation, but let me tell you it’s no fun. And “60 Minutes” won’t do a feature on you for being charged with the feminists’ favorite control weapon in the workplace.
I’ve run across other men who have been charged falsely with sexual harassment. They don’t tell anyone, because many assume you did something automatically and are just some kind of pervert. It’s a modern day scarlet letter. No woman would falsely accuse a man of anything that terrible, right? No, all women are just pure and wonderful and all men are predators. That’s the idea. Just like at Duke.
Feminism is poison. Pure poison. I despise it, and for firsthand reasons.
Could it be because getting married and raising children is a fulfilling experience?
"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus
"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus
She was an angry old woman who had divorced three times and her children, both girls, had been raised in the feminist mold. So they decided to have careers and forego children, and to live on the other side of the country from their mother to boot.
I should pity this woman, because all she has to go home to is a cat. And she's one vicious old lady. But like you said, I watched every P and Q around her constantly.
The biggest cause of depression, male or female, is selfish steam instead of self esteem.
Unselfishness is the cure for depression.
Where did the article do that?
That would allow men to hide the guns, knives, baseball bats, hockey sticks,matches,gasoline cans, weed killer, rat poisons or anything else that could be used as a weapon.
It would also allow for the installation of strong deadbolts on the bedroom or garage door.
However, I can not guarantee that this pill would work on women who do not have a complete set of brains (airheads), women such as those Obama fainter's, feminazis and PMSNBC talking heads who belong to the Democrat party.
Just the lowly opinion of a red state wannabe.
I finally discovered(too late) what makes a woman happy. The very next thing you are going to do for them. You know, “If I only had this or if you only did that, then I would be happy.”
But just as a circle has no end, the happiness is only temporary and it’s off to the very next thing to make them happy.:(
Feminism = no children or aborted children = no true fulfillment = chronic depression
Feminism is crap!
I was miserable until I got married and had kids!
I wouldn’t trade it for anything!
Been there, done that. I’m getting to be an old fart now, when women get into their mid 40’s they get what is commonly known as mild depression and is normal.
This is aimed at you younger guys.
Help your girl out by listening to her, don’t offer any solutions, that is what her girlfriends are for, she just needs someone to vent to. Listen to your girl and help her thru it. Let her know that you love her, not with sex, but with words and a little flirting, but in no way let her pusher of a doctor talk her into Prozac. Prozac may help her or it may very well put her on the street sleeping in garbage dumps.
Prozac is a great medicine for feeling good. It is kind of like a pill to make you a democrat. Everyone owes you and you can do without anyone’s help (except for the spousal support). It strips away your conscience, you can call the police and throw your teenage kid in jail, no problemo. You can go out dancing and wake up in someone else’s bedroom. Everything is fine and dandy. You have no conscience.
Feminism has resulted in depressed women who are depressed because they've denied their female nature and denied their need for men. Feminism hasn't made women happier, equal, or successful. Quite the opposite. As Dennis Prager observes, this is most depressed, lonely and insecure group of women in history. Women's lib hasn't quite worked out the way its theorists had hoped it would.No. Feminism is only a symptom of the problem. Women are social beings, much more so than men. With the increasing mobility of people and the resulting shallowness of the relationships that develop, more women(and men) are lonely and adrift than at any time in human history.
It's the fundamental composition of our society that's the problem, not an easy scapegoat.
Not ONCE was it for a “legitimate” reason.
In one case...it was a result of a “practical joke” played against me, by a girl that wanted to make me a “notch on her bedpost” and I kept refusing to go out with her. Some lower-level management were evidently “in on” the joke too.
I did not find out it was “all just a joke” though (that went wrong..)—till I had quit the job.
I’ve been depressed lately because I am looking at the probability that our next Presdient will be either a Marxist who wants to subvert the country and thus won’t defend the country from external attack or an idiot who will defend the country from external attack while being blind to internal subversion.
Also, my mother is dying slowly and doesn’t know s from Shinola anymore.
And, FR is not much fun anymore, with all the name calling and vicious attacks on reasonably decent folk who haven’t drunk the I’d rather be red than vote Rep Kool-Aid.
Hang in there, fellow FReeper. The very hairs on your head are numbered.
Thanks for reminding me that I'm also going bald...
.. (LOL! It's true; but just a funny fact of life, and is not making me depressed)
Depression is a human element.
Let go let God.
Does not mean I dont think once in a while about a mans uh hum.
Just learn to be chaste smart and clean the garage on my own.
Im nutso and crazy no good Catholic man would have ever asked me anyway...
So livin without man and fearing the wisdom of God.
All you guys smell good though.
(slapping my hand)
Don’t worry. They will find some way to blame this increase in depression on men somehow. Its always our fault when something is wrong with women. Why not this too.....
Theres a much easier explanation as to why so many women are depressed - just try reading a cross section of womens magazines. Its hardly surprising so many women feel insecure and unhappy.
Years after my sexual harassment horror, I realized I had picked up another feminine “bully” in the workplace. I was working in addiction counseling, and I kept getting clients filing grievances against me for inane reasons, all of which fell apart in the hearing process. I never figured out the proximity of this one female therapist to the supposedly aggrieved clients. She was having them file grievances against me. I was pretty easy going and didn’t notice she was after me for two years.
One day, a client (inpatient facility) was cleaning her office while she read my chart entries out loud to another angry client and was heard telling this individual to file a grievance against me. This is a huge violation of ethics and confidentiality. The cleaning client made a beeline to the clinical coordinator and the woman was reprimanded in writing.
But the sniping still kept up. Even then, I had to tell that same clinical coordinator, ironically a feminist, that I might as well have it out with this woman because she was going for sexual harassment next. I had been there before. She’d invent something. Maybe I looked at her too long or something. I had to have a sit down battle with her before it got to that. So we had a full verbal war in front of the brass, and this woman got another reprimand.
She was fired three weeks later for stealing narcotics from the nurses’ station, ironically, nothing to do with yours truly. Big big fun. But like I said, I don’t expect to have 20/20 or Sixty Minutes interview me. It doesn’t fit their one way template.
“Women are social beings, much more so than men. With the increasing mobility of people and the resulting shallowness of the relationships that develop, more women(and men) are lonely and adrift than at any time in human history.”
Thats very profound. I never thought of it that way. Thank you for sharing.
That’s too funny - of all the Bible verses that came to mind, I had to pick that one.
“And women without men are not, as the old feminist saying went, fish without bicycles. They are women without men.”
True, but from another more literal standpoint. There are a lot of men who are simply not interested in having a long term relationship with any particular woman, let alone getting married. I think this is where radical feminism has done the most damage; in failing to acknowledge that marriage is for the protection of women and children, and that it should be preserved. The result is the slow death of marriage and all the attendant evils that brings in it’s wake.
A significant portion of men, and I’d argue it’s a majority, have come to the conclusion that marriage is a bad deal. And ultimately, you do need the man’s consent to have a marriage in the first place.
They are depressed when they don’t get their way and when they get their way. It is the same with liberals.
Well, yes, to a point, yet feminism has lead to a "jihad" against traditional role models and behaviors that previously served as the foundational cornerstone for a successful, healthy and growing society. Now we have "feminist, liberated women" and a birth rate that's far below replacement level along with a surplus of aging, bitter hussies who can't figure out why their so miserable, so they vote democrat to drag everyone else down with them.
Feminism wasn't a cry of liberation for women, it was the sound of the flush of their last chances for happiness.
Prager is spot on.
Thats very profound. I never thought of it that way. Thank you for sharing.Thanks for the kind words :)
Good post.
It is truthful.
“Could it be because getting married and raising children is a fulfilling experience?”
WHAT?
It’s about $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and if you do stoop so low as to marry - don’t get pregnant. Abort it if you do. You’re far to important than spending your time with kids. That’s what the feminists want.
Sarcasm off
Wow..it's really getting deep around here. I've often wondered myself if the "feminist movement" of today is backed by selfish men who would love to abolish marriage as obsolete and restrictive. Evidence...Bill Clinton.
Well, with the divorce rate going through the roof, the unfair distribution of the assets of the marriage to the woman (especially in respect to custody of children), the declining status of marriage itself (in regard to both legal formalities and social standing) it’s hardly surprising fewer men aspire to get married. Radical feminism has thumped the drum that women (and children) no longer NEED to be protected because Sisters are “Strong” and “One”, and they have browbeaten the law to cover the gap (or at least they think they have). Why would a man put himself through that kind of ringer?
Now is not the time to give up on civilization. Those of us who see the chaos being produced by the "me" generation can not give up on those principles that are sound and proven, even if some among us take advantage of their political "status". Just as in days gone by, there were men who took unfair advantage of their protections, there will be women that do the same.
The key has always been with those who can find a balance between self and those around them. Todays feminism, in my opinion does not seek a balance but rather a complete reversal of dominance. The political pendulum never seems to want to stop in the middle where the majority of people can live comfortably together, but seeks to destroy its opponent with impunity.
That is why, as a woman, I fight the "feminists". They are bullies and they are backed by male bullies. It's not really men against woman but rather selfish people against the rest of us.
And we were most often and most effectively taught that self-restraint by a father figure. Most men in prison had no strong father figure in their lives. All of the gay rhetoric you read and hear about same sex couples ignores that basic fact, to society's peril.
Consequently, the women many of these girls grew into lacked the ability to control their natures, to control their emotions, or their moods, and therefore lacked the facility to engage in the self-control necessary for happiness and the avoidance of depression.
These women grew into someone that men avoid like the plague. No one, especially men, wants to be around a woman (or a man for that matter) who doesn't control their emotions. One of the things I consciously recognize that I love about my wife is her self-control and even keel, her ability to deal with life and just keep going.
“Societies and parents always knew that it was imperative to teach boys to control two aspects of their male nature — their sexual desires and their predilection for violence. So all of us decent men were taught from a young age to touch a woman sexually only with her permission...”
So this is what Slick Willie never learned from his childhood.
Really, we’re just tired. . . . . .
Everyone across the board needs to refrain from being wild animals for civilization to survive and that includes a President of the United States (you know who I'm talking about slick).
Luke21, just about every single angry man I’ve ever known had a staunch feminist mother. The correlation is irrefutable, ime. 25 years ago, I was merely surprised by this correlation. 25 years later, I grok it as a truth.
Sorry about your mom. That’s a hard thing.
I’ve always got a low grade depression going on but I’m not a pill popper so I’ve never gone that route although a couple of doctors have freely dispensed them to me. I don’t get into deep depressions like I used to though. I think becoming a conservative and not seeing myself as a victim has made the world of difference—no need for pills if you change your outlook.
Good Lord, Luke 21: What a horrible experience for you. I have a good idea what you went through. A dear pal was put through a similar wringer but in the finance/accounting arena. Turns out the chicks weren’t doing their jobs, and were later caught embezzling; and accused my pal of “creating a hostile environment”; but because he kept asking them to reconcile their accounts.
(((Hugs)))).
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.