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Larry Sinclair's detailed allegations of drug use and homosexual sex with Senator Obama
No Quarter | 06-18-08 | Larry Sinclair

Posted on 06/18/2008 8:48:33 PM PDT by jrooney

Today I will discharge my obligation as a citizen to witness this knowledge to you and raise questions for others to investigate and consider. I am going to briefly describe my background, my experience with Senator Obama in 1999, what appears to me to be a coordinated effort to discredit me and finally a list of questions. After this brief statement, I will take and try to answer any reasonable questions.

Background

I am 46 years old and I currently reside in Duluth, MN. I am a US Citizen, and I have made mistakes in my lifetime. I have been convicted and served prison sentences for writing bad checks, forging checks, using stolen credit card numbers in Arizona, Florida and Colorado. These event’s occurred over twenty (20) years ago between 1980 thru 1986. After going public on the internet with these claims against Senator Obama earlier this year, I became aware of a warrant out of Florida from 1986 which I have resolved and it has now been dismissed. I also have an active “Colorado Only” warrant for alleged “Theft and Forgery”. I am not ignoring this warrant but am addressing it with the Court in Colorado as well as with the DA’s office. I have a pending motion to dismiss this warrant which I am waiting to have calendared by the Colorado Court.

I have lived and worked under three different names. My birth name is Lawrence W. Sinclair. Later on, I had my name legally changed first to La-Rye A. Silvas, and then La-Rye Vizcarra Avila. The last two were legal name changes granted by the court in Penal County Superior Court, Florence Arizona. I legally returned to my birth name in the Fremont County District court, Canon City, Colorado in 1997. Obama Incident

I flew out of Colorado Springs, Colorado to Chicago on November 2, 1999, arriving in O’Hare early in the morning of November 3, 1999. I went to the Chicago area to attend the graduation of my god son (my best friend’s son) from basic training from the Great Lakes Navy Training Center. I made reservations at the Comfort Inn and Suites in Gurnee, IL based on location to the Navy Training center. On November 5, 1999, I hired the services of Five Star Limo. I had hired them for both November 5 and November 6. On November 6, 1999, I asked the limo driver – whose name I now reveal for the first time – Paramjit Multani, if he knew anyone who would like to socialize and show me Chicago. Paramjit Multani understood that I was not looking for someone who knew Chicago and would enjoy socializing. Paramjit Multani said he knew someone who was a friend of his.

On November 6, 1999 after picking me up at the Hotel in Gurnee– and this is significant – Paramjit Multani used his cellphone to make a call. That call was made to then-Illinois State Senator Barack Obama to set up an introduction between me and Senator Obama. Upon arriving at the bar and exiting the Limo, Senator Obama was standing next to Paramjit Multani and I was introduced to Senator Obama. Later that evening at a bar which I believe was called Alibis, I mention I could use a line or two to wake up. Senator Obama asked me if I was referring to “coke” and after stating I was, Obama stated he could purchase cocaine for me and then made a telephone call – and this too is significant — from his cellphone to a presently unknown individual during which Senator Obama arranged the cocaine purchase.

Senator Obama and I then departed the bar in my limousine and proceeded to an unknown location where Senator Obama exited the limousine with two hundred fifty dollars ($250) I had given him and returned a short while later with an “eightball” of cocaine which he gave to me. I did ingest a couple of lines of cocaine, and shortly thereafter Senator Obama produced a glass cylinder pipe and packet of crack cocaine from his pants pocket and Obama smoked the crack cocaine. I performed fellatio on Senator Obama in the limousine during the time Senator Obama was smoking crack cocaine, after which I had the driver take me to the my hotel, The Comfort Suits, Gurnee, Illinois.

The following day, November 7, 1999, Senator Obama appeared at my hotel room where we again ingested cocaine and I again performed fellatio on Senator Obama. Significantly, both the driver’s telephone call to Senator Obama and his call to the drug dealer should appear on the driver’s and Senator Obama’s cellphone billing statements. Fall 2007

In September 2007 I contacted the Presidential Campaign of Barack H. Obama, to request solely that Senator Obama publicly correct his stated drug use record to reflect his use of crack cocaine with me in November 1999. When I made that first contact I left with the Presidential Campaign of Senator Barack H. Obama a telephone number for the campaign to return my call. The first number I provided was a Texas cell phone number. From the period of Labor day weekend 2007 through November 18, 2007 I did rovide a total of four (4) different call back numbers to the Obama campaign, as I had moved and had changed the numbers to reflect locally my place of residence at the time. In late September to early October 2007, I received a call from a male who identified himself as a “Mr. Young” stating he was calling in regards to calls I had made to the Obama campaign. This first call was in fact an attempt by “Mr. Young” to obtained from me the identities of anyone I had contacted concerning my 1999 allegations against Senator Obama. This first called shocked me in that this “Mr. Young” asked me why I had not asked Senator Obama to disclose the sexual encounters I had with Mr. Obama in 1999. I was shocked as I had never mentioned to the campaign or anyone working for the campaign any sexual encounters as my call was prompted by drug allegations only. The call ended with “Mr. Young” stating I would hear from someone in a few days.

In mid to late October 2007, I received a second call from this “Mr. Young” at which time I clearly became aware that this individual was personally involved with Senator Obama rather than just an employee of his campaign. The tone of the conversation had a sexual nature. “Mr. Young” did not once advise me how he obtained my phone number which by this time had now changed to a Delaware number.

In late October 2007, I received a text message from the gentleman identified as “Mr. Young” in which he stated he was intimately involved with Senator Obama and that Obama was discussing with him and his pastor how to publicly acknowledge Senator Obama’s drug use in 1999 and that Obama wanted to be sure I had not discussed the sexual encounters or drug incidents with any media at that time.

In mid to late November 2007, in another text message from “Mr. Young” , he advised me that Senator Obama will publicly correct his statement as to he last time he used drugs and I did not need to concern myself with publicly disclosing it myself. The last contact I had with “Mr. Young” was in early December 2007 when he made it clear to me that Senator Obama had no intentions of publicly acknowledging his 1999 use of crack cocaine and that “Mr. Young” was in fact doing nothing more than milking information from me for Senator Obama’s use.

I later learned that a Donald Young was the choir director of Reverend Wright’s Trinity United Church of Christ – Obama’s now-former church — and was openly a homosexual. I also learned that he was murdered on December 23, 2007. I have cooperated with the Chicago Police Department in this matter by providing them the telephone numbers I was using during the fall of 2007 and I release them now publically in the hope that someone may be able to connect the dots between these telephone numbers and Mr. Young. Those numbers are: 954-758-1105; 956-758-1885; 956-758-8002; 302-685-7175; 612-466-1043. 2008

In what I now realize was a naive and un-counseled decision, I posted in January 2008 a video on YouTube.com where I related the above information regarding my liaisons with Senator Obama in 1999. The response was overwhelming and I quickly became the recipient of what in hindsight appears to have been a coordinated attack on my character with ever increasing falsehoods circulating on the internet.

In response I agreed to take a polygraph test from Whitehouse.com. The results of that test have been partially revealed to the end of labeling me a liar and taken as gospel by all. I would like to make the following comments about that polygraph test. First, I have been subsequently advised that Whitehouse.com was a website dedicated to anti-Clinton pornography until earlier this year. Second, I have now come to understand that lie detectors are junk science at best which is why courts of law refuse to use them. Third, a review of the results by George W. Maschke, Ph.D. of AntiPolygraph.org raises serious questions about the legitimacy of the examination. Indeed, overlooked by almost everyone is that hitehouse.com’s own examiner, Dr. Gordon Barland, observed that on the drug question regarding Senator Obama that the computerized score found that there was less than a 1% probability of deception by me. That’s about as high a passing score as one can possibly attain.

Finally, in February 2008 I was told anonymously that Dan Parisi of Whitehouse.com received $750,000 from the Obama campaign through AKR Media to organize an effort to publically discredit me. When I confronted Dan Parisi with this allegation, he did not deny it but instead withdrew the second exonerating polygraph report of Dr. Gordon Barland, failed to post the video of my polygraph as he and Whitehouse.com promised they would do, and even removed posts from their web site altogether, claiming that they had “had enough of the attacks by Sinclair’s supporters and Sinclair himself.”

The polygraph results - as misrepresented – were immediately seized upon by the blogger community and I became the subject of vicious lies about me. I was forced to file a lawsuit in an attempt to stop those lies about me that have been circulating. That lawsuit sought to obtain the proof of what I was saying about my contact with Senator Obama through subpoenas for the identities of the anonymous bloggers so they could be linked to the Obama campaign and relevant records of the cellphone companies to prove the truth of my allegations. To date, though the lawsuit is now over ninety days old, Judge Kennedy has refused to permit the suit to move forward so this evidence may be obtained. Conclusion

In sum, you can discredit my story and then make your decision on who should be the next President of the United States. The burden is now off me as I have told my story without the distortions that have been intentionally heaped on me in what my lawyer tells me is an ad hominem attack – shoot the messenger so you don’t have to hear the message he is bringing. I am now done. It is for others to find the corroborating evidence of my story by locating the limousine driver – Paramjit Multani – and the telephone numbers related to Donald Young and/or Senator Obama. I leave you with these questions that I have asked of Senator Obama but which he – who wants to be the next President of the United States – has refused to answer:

1. Why won’t Senator Obama provide his cellphone numbers and telephone records for all his personal and official cell phones held by him for the time period of November 3, 1999 thru November 8, 1999, when we met?

2. Why won’t Senator Obama provide his cellphone numbers and telephone records for all his personal and official cell phones held by Senator Obama or September 2007 – December 23, 2008, the murder of Donald Young?

3. Why won’t Senator Obama provide all email communication both personal and campaign related to and/or from AKP Message & Media from January 18, 2008 through February 29, 2008 for Senator Obama, David Axelrod and David Plouffe?

4. Why won’t Senator Obama provide proof of all payments made from AKP Message & Media, Obama for America, David Axelrod, David Plouffe, and Senator Obama’s accounts for the period of January 18, 2008 through February 29, 2008?

On my website – larrysinclair.org – you will find the documents that I have referred to in this statement. A copy of the home page for that website is attached. Thank you for your time and attention this afternoon and I will now take any questions.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: 2008; cocaine; crack; donaldyoung; druguse; homosexualsex; larrysinclair; missinglink; obama; sinclair; young
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Interesting. Sinclair provides quite extensive details and telephone numbers. Will any enterprising freepers have the time and expertise to follow up?
1 posted on 06/18/2008 8:48:34 PM PDT by jrooney
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To: jrooney

Sorry this kind of stuff is crap. It does not help us defeat him in any way and he took a polygraph with whitehouse.com, a porn site. This should probably be removed.


2 posted on 06/18/2008 8:59:28 PM PDT by USAFJeeper
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To: jrooney

How sickening! In true God-fearing America, John McCain will be an outstanding heir to the Bush legacy of fortitude and courage. Obama is a filth who has been sent by satan himself.


3 posted on 06/18/2008 9:00:22 PM PDT by YukonAK
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To: USAFJeeper

Ladies and Gentlemen:

Its another Larry Sinclair Thread.

What should we do with it??????

Let’s hijack it and turn it into a humor break.

A cowboy is driving down a back road in Texas. A sign in front of a restaurant reads:

HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL Lobster Tail and Beer

‘Lord almighty’ he says to himself, ‘my three favorite things!!’


4 posted on 06/18/2008 9:02:01 PM PDT by american_ranger (Never ever use DirecTV)
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To: american_ranger

Two blondes decided to go out to the county for a hike and to enjoy nature. They
were walking along and admiring all of beauty of the countryside. Suddenly one
blonde looks down and says, “Oh! look! Deer tracks!”

The second blonde says, “Those are not deer tracks, they are rabbit tracks.”

The first blonde says, “No they are deer tracks. There are lots of deer out here.”

The second blonde says, “My father goes hunting all the time, those are rabbit
tracks.”

The first blonde says, “They are too large to be rabbit tracks”

The second blonde says, “I have a book on animals, they are deer tracks”

They argued back and forth like that until the train hit them.


5 posted on 06/18/2008 9:03:54 PM PDT by american_ranger (Never ever use DirecTV)
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To: american_ranger

Meeting Satan…

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the back entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the man and said, ’Do you know who I am?’

The man replied, ‘Yep, sure do.’

‘Aren’t you afraid of me?’ Satan asked.

‘Nope, sure ain’t.’ said the man.

‘Don’t you realize I can kill you with one word?’ asked Satan.

‘Don’t doubt it for a minute,’ returned the old man, in an even tone.

‘Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?’ persisted Satan.

‘Yep,’ was the calm reply.

‘And you ‘re still not afraid?’ asked Satan.

‘Nope,’ said the old man.

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, ‘Why aren’t you afraid of me?’

The man calmly replied, ‘Been married to your sister for 48 years.’


6 posted on 06/18/2008 9:04:47 PM PDT by american_ranger (Never ever use DirecTV)
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To: USAFJeeper

I don’t think probable drug US and gay sex by a married US presidential candidate is ‘crap’ to be ignored.


7 posted on 06/18/2008 9:05:29 PM PDT by Post Toasties (It's not a smear if it's true.)
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To: jrooney

“That’s not the Larry Sinclair I knew” - Barack redacted Obama.

There. Issue settled.


8 posted on 06/18/2008 9:05:29 PM PDT by weegee (In 1988 Lenora Fulani was the 1st black woman to appear on presidential ballots in all 50 states)
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To: YukonAK; Old Sarge

Right outta the playbook.

Welcome to FR.


9 posted on 06/18/2008 9:05:48 PM PDT by dynachrome (Henry Bowman is right)
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To: american_ranger

Estate planning

Dan was a single guy living at home with his fatherand working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a
wife with which to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her, “but in
just a few years, my father will die, and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.”

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men.


10 posted on 06/18/2008 9:06:08 PM PDT by american_ranger (Never ever use DirecTV)
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To: jrooney

What about the Donald Young murder investigation? Where does it stand?


11 posted on 06/18/2008 9:06:12 PM PDT by yldstrk (My heros have always been cowboys--Reagan and Bush)
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To: jrooney

I can’t believe that Obama is not sweating this to some degree. Is this “smear” covered on the website which pretends to deal with the smears levelled at both Obamas?
I guess I could check that out myself.....
The point about what Sinclair says is that it’s either ALL virtually true in every verifiable detail, or it’s all UNTRUE in every detail. “Tell the truth.....it’s easier to remember”, someone once said, and what Sinclair recounts is so fleshed out in names , times and places, and specific acts of behavior, I tend to believe it’s all true, and all remembered, rather than made up. WHY would he make any of this up? What does he stand to gain from it? Are Obama’s opponents “paying him”, this disreputable character, to fabricate this whole incident to undermine his quest for the White House?All of that will certainly be claimed by Team Obama..None of these questions will be asked or answered loud enough so that anyone can hear them, which means the MSM will turn a blind investigative eye to all of it as it goes through the processes these things go through. It will only be reported by the MSM , ‘as a matter of fact’, if any when others prove it, and it does become fact.


12 posted on 06/18/2008 9:06:51 PM PDT by supremedoctrine (Time is the school in which we learn that time is the fire in which we burn.--D.Schwartz)
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To: american_ranger

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o’clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, sort of bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man “Holy CRAP, That must be my husband!”

So the guy quickly jumped out of the bed, scared and naked he jumped out the window like a crazy man. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and then started to run as fast as he could to his car.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, “I am your husband.!”

The woman yelled back, “Yeah, then why were you running?”

And that folks............is how the fight started.


13 posted on 06/18/2008 9:09:43 PM PDT by american_ranger (Never ever use DirecTV)
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To: american_ranger

Appreciate your humor but it would be nice if you refrained from posting your jokes, trying to hijack the thread.


14 posted on 06/18/2008 9:10:57 PM PDT by jrooney (Obama's mentor says God Da*n America. That explains Obama's refusal to put his hand over his heart.)
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To: jrooney
I remember reading detailed accounts of Janet Reno's lesbian peccadilloes, some of which were seemingly attempts by mob individuals at blackmail. What became of these? Why nothing, of course. Obama would actually be lauded for the kind of libertine frolics, within leftist circles of course. He will always deny them publicly, and will even use them to gain voter sympathy if any pundit or journalist pushes the story. Short of actual video of an assignation, nothing can come of this story. Do the same with a Republican, and you can destroy his career, without any real evidence at that!
15 posted on 06/18/2008 9:11:39 PM PDT by Richard Axtell (Don't read this Tagline.)
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To: american_ranger

Lemme guess, you’ll be here all week?


16 posted on 06/18/2008 9:11:48 PM PDT by REDWOOD99
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To: jrooney; writer33; MurryMom

I get the gay sex part - but drug use? No way.


17 posted on 06/18/2008 9:12:11 PM PDT by Libloather (June is Liberal Awareness Month.)
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To: yldstrk
Sinclair brought that up today. Evidently he provided information to the investigating authorities.
18 posted on 06/18/2008 9:12:34 PM PDT by jrooney (Obama's mentor says God Da*n America. That explains Obama's refusal to put his hand over his heart.)
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To: YukonAK

Go away, troll. You are remarkably transparent.


19 posted on 06/18/2008 9:12:38 PM PDT by TN4Liberty (Election 2008 - American Idol except no one can sing.)
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To: jrooney

this is a dual post. plenty of enterprising freeper stuff on the other one


20 posted on 06/18/2008 9:12:49 PM PDT by Soliton (Investigate, educate, then opinionate.)
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To: american_ranger

Give me a break people.

Larry is a loon.

Everything he says might be true but his looniness is going to kill it and the media won’t mention a word.

Many of his supporters support him because he is such a loon and this detracts from Obama’s real attackers.

By pushing a loon like Larry, the left demeans Obama’s real critics.

Support Larry Sinclair and demean real Obama critics.


21 posted on 06/18/2008 9:13:39 PM PDT by american_ranger (Never ever use DirecTV)
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To: jrooney

I believe Larry! Go, Larry, GO!
Whatever it takes to destroy the political career of that oily scumbag Obama is fine with me.


22 posted on 06/18/2008 9:14:42 PM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: jrooney
I assume your failure to provide a link is due to an overwhelming sense of embarrassment.

It's quite understandable.

23 posted on 06/18/2008 9:14:50 PM PDT by hole_n_one
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To: american_ranger

His statement today is very detailed, including telephone numbers. I guess you would have led the charge of calling Juanita Broderick, Paula Jones, et al loons too. Well we know there was substance there.


24 posted on 06/18/2008 9:16:50 PM PDT by jrooney (Obama's mentor says God Da*n America. That explains Obama's refusal to put his hand over his heart.)
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To: american_ranger

A Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant to have a cup of coffee. Looking across the restaurant, he asked the waitress, “Is that Jesus sitting over there?’”

The waitress nodded “yes”, so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup off coffee, on him.

The next patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, “Hey there, honey! How’s about getting me a cold glass of Miller Light?”

He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, “Is that the Son of God over there?” The waitress nodded, and the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. “On me,” he said.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, “For your kindness, you are healed.” The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Then Jesus walked towards the Democrat. The Democrat jumped up and yelled, “Don’t touch me.... I’m collecting disability.”


25 posted on 06/18/2008 9:16:57 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (Alaska has the oil. The Senate has the dipsticks.)
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To: Post Toasties; USAFJeeper
I don’t think probable drug US and gay sex by a married US presidential candidate is ‘crap’ to be ignored.

Drug use and gay sex make that scumbag Obama even more attractive to Democrats.

26 posted on 06/18/2008 9:17:49 PM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: jrooney
His statement today is very detailed, including telephone numbers.

Look, I hope this is true, and I hope its looked into, but, take a look at him (and his lawyer). There is a decent chance that he is just making the whole thing up.

27 posted on 06/18/2008 9:19:29 PM PDT by Ron Jeremy (sonic)
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To: YukonAK
In true God-fearing America, John McCain will be an outstanding heir to the Bush legacy of fortitude and courage.

AMEN and AMEN! Shuffleboard anyone?

28 posted on 06/18/2008 9:20:41 PM PDT by trane250
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To: hole_n_one
Coming out of your spider hole to defend the racist homosexual African America libtard are ye? This was the satement Sinclair gave at the National Press Club today.

http://noquarterusa.net/blog/2008/06/18/the-larry-sinclair-saga/
29 posted on 06/18/2008 9:23:38 PM PDT by jrooney (Obama's mentor says God Da*n America. That explains Obama's refusal to put his hand over his heart.)
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To: USAFJeeper

Watch the video. he is far more believable than bho ever will be.


30 posted on 06/18/2008 9:25:32 PM PDT by pissant (THE Conservative party: www.falconparty.com)
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To: jrooney

In light of the consideration of human cloning, we must ask the hypothetical question:

If you pushed your naked clone off the top of a tall building, would this be:

a. Murder?
b. Suicide?
c. Merely making an obscene clone fall?


31 posted on 06/18/2008 9:26:36 PM PDT by granite ("We dare not tempt them with weakness" - JFK)
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To: jrooney

Reference in the statement is made to Penal County, Arizona. That should be Pinal County unless this is some sort of Freudian Slip.


32 posted on 06/18/2008 9:26:42 PM PDT by svxdave (Life is too short to wear a fake Rolex.)
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To: dynachrome

Yup. Troll


33 posted on 06/18/2008 9:26:52 PM PDT by pissant (THE Conservative party: www.falconparty.com)
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To: weegee
Well...if that's not "the Larry Sinclair you knew," perhaps you should have him spin around...you might recognize the back of his head ;-)
34 posted on 06/18/2008 9:27:02 PM PDT by NordP (Barry HUSSEIN Obama says he's for change...well AMERICANS LIKE DOLLAR BILLS!)
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To: supremedoctrine

He’s sweating it alright. Go Larry Go


35 posted on 06/18/2008 9:27:52 PM PDT by pissant (THE Conservative party: www.falconparty.com)
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To: american_ranger

Sorry, american ranger, you lost me with your stale jokes. You demean yourself.

Mr. Sinclair provided phone numbers that can be examined for accuracy of dates and times. Mr. Young is dead? Mr. Sinclair better be looking for some cover.


36 posted on 06/18/2008 9:28:08 PM PDT by healy61
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To: pissant

I put the duck and the sarge on him/her/it.

Probly not worth the trouble unless it decides to post an article


37 posted on 06/18/2008 9:30:30 PM PDT by dynachrome (Henry Bowman is right)
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To: american_ranger

Even the worst of liars can tell the truth sometimes.


38 posted on 06/18/2008 9:31:05 PM PDT by freekitty (Give me back my conservative vote.)
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To: dynachrome

They provide valuable entertainment.


39 posted on 06/18/2008 9:31:26 PM PDT by pissant (THE Conservative party: www.falconparty.com)
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To: american_ranger

A Scotsman was at a baseball game. It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly.
The first batter approached the plate, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming “Run, Run!” This happened two more times, with a single and a triple. The Scot was now excited and ready to get into the game.The next batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called “walk” and the batter started on a slow trot to first. The Scotsman, extremely
excited now, stood up and screamed, “R-R-Run ye basstarrd, rrrun!” Everyone around him started laughing. So the Scotsman, extremely embarrassed, sat back down.
A friendly fan, seeing the Scotsman’s embarrassment, leaned over and said, “He can’t run - he got four balls.
“The Scotsman then stood up and screamed, “Walk with prrride,mon...walk with prrride!”


40 posted on 06/18/2008 9:32:35 PM PDT by dynachrome (Henry Bowman is right)
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To: granite

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest.

The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie.

What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser.

The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.

I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing!

I was disappointed.

I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it.

She is such a sweet cat.

But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another.

The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5’ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, ‘no possible way!’

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best...?

I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, ‘ don’t do it dipsh!t,’
reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad.

I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again.

I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet,
both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself!

You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.

A three second burst would be considered conservative?

SON-OF-A-BITCH, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.

The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.

My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.

My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.

I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I sh!t myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone.;

I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair.

I’m still looking for my nuts and I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return!!

P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!


41 posted on 06/18/2008 9:34:00 PM PDT by granite ("We dare not tempt them with weakness" - JFK)
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To: jrooney
See, that wasn't so hard, was it?

One would think that after 2+ years here you would have put on your big boy pants by now.

42 posted on 06/18/2008 9:36:51 PM PDT by hole_n_one
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To: granite

If you ever get the sudden

Urge to run around naked,

You should spray yourself with

Some Windex immediately......

It’ll keep you from streaking.


43 posted on 06/18/2008 9:37:17 PM PDT by granite ("We dare not tempt them with weakness" - JFK)
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Comment #44 Removed by Moderator

To: TN4Liberty; dynachrome

Good catch...didn’t realize it til I read his history.


45 posted on 06/18/2008 9:42:18 PM PDT by Las Vegas Ron (Election '08, the year McCain defined the word "dilemma")
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To: granite

46 posted on 06/18/2008 9:43:26 PM PDT by granite ("We dare not tempt them with weakness" - JFK)
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To: granite

If you do not like the thread and would rather hijack it, why not leave it?


47 posted on 06/18/2008 9:45:01 PM PDT by jrooney (Obama's mentor says God Da*n America. That explains Obama's refusal to put his hand over his heart.)
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To: dynachrome

Bookmark


48 posted on 06/18/2008 9:45:41 PM PDT by VanShuyten ("Ah! but it was something to have at least a choice of nightmares.")
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To: Las Vegas Ron

“til I read his history”

First thing to do to confirm or ya end up apologizing like I have had to do.


49 posted on 06/18/2008 9:45:52 PM PDT by dynachrome (Henry Bowman is right)
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To: All

Larry Johnson is back. LOL


50 posted on 06/18/2008 9:47:03 PM PDT by pepperhead (Kennedy's float, Mary Jo's don't!)
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