Posted on 05/09/2008 3:18:08 PM PDT by windcliff
Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.; This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?'
That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.
That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never _cra...#@&&^(C%_ (mailto:cra...#@&&^(C) ....... reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken!!!! ......... What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? .........We need some black chickens!
JEREMIAH WRIGHT: He was one of America’s chickens. Coming home to roost.
BARBARA WALTERS: I slept with that chicken. Read about it in my autobiography.
KEITH OLBERMANN (Special comment): Mr. Bush, the chicken has crossed the road. Resign, sir!
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.; This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure — right from Day One! — that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.......
Under heavy gunfire I might add.
BILL CLINTON: Why did the chicken cross the road? I don’t know, but I’d hit it!
Obviously, the chicken saw a young, sexy looking, conservative hen on the other side of the road and decided that no road was gonna get in between him and that hen.
Or the second scenario
He was hungry and needed a quick fix at the local diner. Sadly, the chicken did not realize that it was a KFC.
Are we sure John McCain didn’t just invite all the other chickens to this side of the road?
CONDI: I’m sure the chicken will realize the consquences of its actions soon enough, and return to our side of the road.
OBAMA: Hey, I already answered like six questions today. Let me get back to my waffle. (mumbles) Dumb cracker. HEY! Turn that thing off!
NANCY PELOSI: Chickens in America today suffer terrible injustices caused by this administration. I will propose legislation tomorrow that will help all chickens get the “help they need” to cross the road. Our country can no longer ignore the plight of these chickens. Chickens have been held back by Bush policies for too long and we will help them.
Now if that is a gay chicken I personally will carry the chicken to the other side of the road!!!
No doubt this thread will enTyson puns and whatnot...
These are exactly the type of threads I like to ovoid.
Foster Farms ping
DER GOVERNATOR: “Yes, da chicken did cross da roat. But, it vowed: “I’ll be baaaack, bck, bck, bckaaa!”.”
That was a cheep shot.
Is that you, Johann Sebastian Barak?
Hey, I paid good money for that pun, it wasn’t any kind of poultry sum!
RON PAUL: There is nothing in the Constitution about chickens or roads. Clearly this chicken is engaged in un-Constitutional Acts.
.
LOL!
Good post potlatch!
Another classy serious thread!
RUSH LIMBAUGH: Operation Chicken road crossing is a success!
To visit his friend Gregory Peck.
I made a website to get this out to Americans. I may never eat another pice of chicken. After you look at this, you may not either. LOL For sure, I'll never eat anything from China again!
Descartes: Les poulets traversent la route donc qu’ils sont.
HOMER SIMPSON: MMMmmmmmm, chicken.
[Another classy serious thread!]
Hey! You are tooo serious, have some fun, lol.
Just got some company, be back later.
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
Paris Hilton: Chicken? No no no I ordered the Arugula pesto pasta salad with a gin chaser.
to prove to the squirrel that it could be done......
JESSICA SIMPSON: Tuna?
Bob's signage read, "why did the chicken cross the road? 2 get a tattoo". The sign across the road read, "why did the tatto cross the road? to get a chicken"
I have no idea what you’re talking about, so here’s an invisible picture of a chicken with an imaginary pancake on its head.
Which came first, the chicken or the road?
bookmark for later laughs
If a chicken got hit by a car while crossing the road
and there was no one around to hear it, who was driving the CAR???
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:
The yellow chicken crossed the road to avoid the cock-of-the-walk.
...and the other chicken crossed because she saw the eggplant, and didn’t want the squeeze put on her.
For both, it was the only Safeway.
To get to the other side.
|
So this chicken starts to cross.....  |
LOL, very attractive graphics but wish you had continued your story!! Nifty gif, I could have her doing other things.
-
I figured - one TB-BG .gif in /FX/ - this .jpg in /BACKS/
Bump,,,,,
Hard to find good figures of people when you WANT them! I’ve done many long searches for things.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.