Posted on 05/07/2008 11:22:47 AM PDT by Dawnsblood
An architect's wickedly sarcastic replies to pointless questions on a planning form have made him an unwitting champion for all those exasperated by bureaucracy. John Jessop earned a cult following among his colleagues after his withering comments were leaked in an e-mail which has been sent all round the country.
After being asked to fill in a “design access statement” for a storage shed on a small farm, he wrote: “The density is like on a farm, the social context is a farm in the country, the economic context is farming in the United Kingdom in 2008 (which is not very economic), the opportunities are to store equipment inside rather than the outside, the constraint is the planning system.”
And under a section headed Context Analysis, he said: “The use is compatible with a farm because it is a farm building."
(Excerpt) Read more at telegraph.co.uk ...
For twenty years, while associated with the Air Force...I continually found that sarcastic comments routinely fixed issues and settled stoppages. People routinely take themselves serious and don’t look at themselves in a mirror. A sarcastic return forces them to think for a moment.
Ha, this guy doesn't know how petty bureaucrats feel about someone under their preview not taking their questions seriously...
Hilarious!.........
heh..kinda like the last time I went to the dentist, one of the questions was “Do you want to keep your teeth?”..my response was, “No, I want them all pulled so I can seriously gum an undercooked slice of bacon at the nearest waffle house”..
Stolen humor:
“Squawks” are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Naval Air pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.
Problem: “Left side tire almost needs replacement.”
Solution: “Almost replaced left side tire.”
Problem: “Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.”
Solution: “Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.”
Problem #1: “#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid.”
Solution #1: “#2 Propeller seepage normal.”
Problem #2: “#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage.”
Problem: “The autopilot doesn’t.”
Signed off: “IT DOES NOW.”
Problem: “Something loose in cockpit.”
Solution: “Something tightened in cockpit.”
Problem: “Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.”
Solution: “Evidence removed.”
Problem: “DME volume unbelievably loud.”
Solution: “Volume set to more believable level.”
Problem: “Dead bugs on windshield.”
Solution: “Live bugs on order.”
Problem: “Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.”
Solution: “Cannot reproduce problem on ground.”
Problem: “IFF inoperative.”
Solution: “IFF inoperative in OFF mode.”
Problem: “Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.”
Solution: “That’s what they’re there for.”
Problem: “Aircraft handles funny.”
Solution: “Aircraft sternly warned to straighten up, fly right, and get serious.”
Problem: “Target Radar hums.”
Solution: “Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics.”
Problem: “Number three engine missing.”
Solution: “Engine found on right wing after brief search.”
Problem: “Mouse in cockpit.”
Solution: “Cat installed.”
I guess his comments are lost on me. I don’t find them witty or sarcastic.
Remember the damn beaver post, from Indiana I think.
Never laughed as hard, wish I had copied
Jessop? Cult?
“Mr Jessop said he launched his attack on planning red tape after the planning and amenities department of Mendip District Council in Somerset sent him a lengthy form with what he saw as a serious of “silly” questions.”
This is a hugh and series mistake in spelling!
You must not have a properly stiff British upper lip. :-)
You would if you were an MEP engineer...
LOL! Anal retentive types abound in aviation!
In my business - before the 04 hurricanes - I routinely poked fun at them all, especially the FAA types.
Pissed off the governement union employees to no end, and I enjoyed it all.
I love when code officials have their little forms and can’t figure out that the specific building being proposed doesn’t neatly fit in one of their checkboxes.
Dealing with cities is why I have grey hair.
it’s about as funny as most British humor - that is to say not really.
bump
I often use this method to point out the idiocy of some processes where I work.
That was hilarious!
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