Cal mulls what to do with tree-sitters [Freeper advice needed]

Associated Press ^ | November 22, 2007 | Michelle Locke

[Zakeet]

BERKELEY, Calif. - University of California officials have won the legal right to oust a band of tree-sitters who've taken up residence in an oak grove standing in the way of a planned sports center.

But how do you uproot a tree-sitter in Berkeley, one of America's most politically correct cities?

"Extremely difficult," acknowledges campus spokesman Dan Mogulof.

As the protest nears its one-year anniversary, plenty of people have suggestions: Fire hoses, skunk spray and tranquilizer darts are among the thorny ideas Internet posters have planted.

So far, the university has moved cautiously.

The university wants to remove dozens of the picturesque trees, called evergreen coast live oaks, to build a $125 million training facility for its Golden Bears athletic teams.

There have been scuffles between police and tree-sitters; and campus officials have put up chain-link fences around the grove. University lawyers have told a judge they are considering pruning lower branches — to make it harder to ferry supplies up to the protesters.

Both sides say they don't want a treetop confrontation.

"It's not an easy thing to do, to climb up into a tree, first of all," said Doug Buckwald, member of a group that supports tree-sitters but doesn't join them. "If you're climbing up into a tree to try to wrestle with somebody and drag them down, you are taking on a high level of risk."

A judge ruled last month that school officials would be within their rights to oust the protesters. Mogulof declined to comment on what tactics campus police might use but said they are "not currently contemplating a forcible removal."

[Zakeet]

A tree house inhabited by protestors is seen near Berkeley's Campanile
tower, left, Tuesday, Oct. 2, 2007, in Berkeley, Calif. In October 2007,
the University of California, Berkeley, officials have won the legal right
to oust a band of tree-sitters who've taken up residence in an oak grove
standing in the way of a new sports center.

OK Freepers, let's be generous and help the Peoples Republik of California
out of one of the greatest problems vexing their liberal politicians in modern
times, namely: How do you uproot a tree-sitter in Berkeley?

[agere_contra]

Nuke the site from orbit.

[xjcsa]

Chainsaw.

[Brilliant]

Call the fire department.

[skimask]

Wave to them.

[Dr. Bogus Pachysandra]

Instead of one chainlink fence, put up several spread out far enough to make even throwing supplies in impossible. No food, no water, no sewage disposal, no nothin’!

[PROCON]

“Wave to them.”

Which finger?/:)

[Diogenesis]

jam their cell phones and wifi

[b4its2late]

Loud speakers, pointed straight up at them playing 70’s rock and roll for hours on end... Start out with Boston’s Greatest Hits...

[SouthTexas]

Chainsaw was my first thought, but slow methodical ax work would be more “PC”. No emissions ya know. ;)

[Freedom_no_exceptions]

Have them choose a) copper nails if they stay in the tree, or b) a lifetime supply of free weed if they come down.

[socialismisinsidious]

I would love to see a sling shot....meaning pull the tree down to a horizontal position and then let go. One flying tree-sitter: priceless.

[joshhiggins]

Girdle the trees. Then they will be necrophiliac tree squatters. A new protected species in Bezerkly.

[Abathar]

My idea involves one of these babies... My personal favorite.

[Jeff Chandler]

Professor of Medieval Literature Fineus T. Banderclamps, PhD. prepares to evict a band of tree-sitters standing in the way of the new Berkeley sports center.

[Clint Williams]

Well, we spray tentworms, don’t we?

[VeniVidiVici]

[magslinger]

Call the fire department.

Good idea, but the Navy would be better. IMHO 100psi shipboard pressure would be more effective in knocking them out of the trees than 50psi most civilian FD's use.

[Abathar]

LOL! Priceless....

[Alright_on_the_LeftCoast]

How stupid are these people..how about closing any and all food and water transfers....how hard to starve these morons out of the trees??? How about tranquilizer darts....they use those on animals...these scumbags fall beneath them on an evolutionary scale....shoot these treetwits in the ass with a tranq dart....they’ll come down.

[Brilliant]

Actually, a single match might do the trick.

[I see my hands]

Dress them in squirrel costumes and summon Jed Clampett

[USFRIENDINVICTORIA]

That’s not a bad idea. It would certainly make the tree-sitting a lost cause.

[AmericaUnited]

This is very simple... prevent food and water from being resupplied.

[BillyBonebrake]

I agree ... starve them out of the tree.

[Kid Shelleen]

[Cheburashka]

Sniper.

That tower on the left seems to be a good place to set up.

Do it openly. The ecowackos might decide to come down posthaste. If not, well, snipers need target practice...

[Doctor Raoul]

Soap! To hippies, it works like garlic around vampires....

[magslinger]

They might be a little sensitive about a controlled burn in California right about now. I know I would be if I lived downwind of there.

[JackRyanCIA]

[BBell]

Tree shakers. They will drop like the fruits they are.

[Liberty Valance]

[PA Engineer]

Maybe they should have a two week barbecue celebrating diversity, with smokers surrounding the base of the tree.

[Loud Mime]

Give them free pot, put them downwind of some barbeques....they’ll leave.

[rdl6989]

That’s funny right there.

[USNBandit]

It’s the only way to be sure.

[WOBBLY BOB]

send up little helium balloons with baskets full of dog doo.

[rdl6989]

p.s. All your timber are belong to us.

[Cvengr]

I suspect letting loose some insects to devour the tree in a controlled fashion might be the ticket.

Nothing like an army of army ants crawling up the tree to alter their intent.

[MinuteGal]

" .......they (the authorities and administrators) are not contemplating a forcible removal."

Why not?

That's exactly what these oxygen-wasters deserve. They like to play hard ball, but using it back on them offends their cowardly psyche and sends the lefty media into a typical sob-sister rage.

Evidently their parents left them off easy on everything while growing up. Time for society to sock it to them so they'll finally learn that life is not a giant catering service just for their desires.

Enormous wind producing-machines like they use for hurricanes and typhoons on movie sets should do the trick.

First, the Branch Druidians will be blown out of their perches and for a few moments will soar like eagles, then immediately drop like the flightless dodo birds they are.

Leni

[Riley]

I know, I know, ‘non-native species’ and all of that, but I’d get out of that tree if someone introduced a colony of Fire Ants.

[Kirkwood]

Yep. Kill the trees and they lose.

[Eye of Unk]

You get a bunch of these tree shakers to get the nuts down.

[Eye of Unk]

Aww you beat me to it!

[colinhester]

“not currently contemplating a forcible removal.” No problem here, but this has gone on long enough.

Take a passive approach then: remove any source of food and water; beam high-power spotlights at their “house”; and a directional air raid siren for thier listening enjoyment. I’d give three days.

Trying to remember what the US did to Noriega....

[04-Bravo]

The officials at UCB seem to have forgotten that they faced a similar problem about 20 years ago, when a group of animal rights activists barricaded themselves in the top cab of a large construction crane.

UCB simply built a good perimeter, manned it with police officers, and stopped the activists from being resupplied with food and water. When their supplies ran out, the activists climbed down and surrendered.

[Fzob]

Berkeley has changed since its '60s heyday as an epicenter of student protest, and the tree-sit doesn't appear to have generated huge interest on campus. "Unfortunately, a lot of the people are detached," said Jerlina Love, a graduate student who supports the sitters.

No its not detachment, its a tree you moron, grow a new one. Most people have figured that out.

[NurdlyPeon]

How about multiple picnics with BB guns? Great all-day fun for the family and the kids.

[Gay State Conservative]

Black bears.

[Jeffrey_D.]

Fire ants .....lots and lots of fire ants