Man Builds Guillotine to Kill Himself

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 9/12/07 | AP

[TFFKAMM]

(09-12) 14:05 PDT Allen Park, Mich. (AP) --

The body of a 41-year-old man was found in a wooded area next to a guillotine he built and used to kill himself, police said. The man, from the Detroit suburb of Melvindale, was discovered Monday by workers from a shopping center near his home.

Allen Park Deputy Police Chief Dale Covert said the roughly six-foot tall guillotine was bolted to a tree and included a swing arm. Covert said police also found several store receipts detailing the materials used to assemble the device...

[AmericanInTokyo]

Horrible. Just terrible.

Terrible story.

Any way you slice it.

[ansel12]

Only a guy would do all this.

[MHGinTN]

Wonder if he placed the catch bag so that his last visions would be of his blood spurting neck above him or the treetops? This had to be one sick pup but you gotta admit he is smarter than Kivorkian.

[fieldmarshaldj]

Prayers for this misguided soul.

[Inyo-Mono]

The body of a 41-year-old man was found in a wooded area next to a guillotine he built and used to kill himself, police said.

The "body" was found? What about the head?

[umgud]

Allen Park Deputy Police Chief Dale Covert said the roughly six-foot tall guillotine was bolted ......

I wonder if the police chief is a covert officer.

[TheDon]

I can’t believe it was so bad he lost his head over it.

[garyhope]

I wonder if anyone was holding his beer?

[martin_fierro]

Redneck.

[rusureitflies?]

“receipts detailing the materials used to assemble the device...”
Just wondering, did he buy the stuff on credit?

[liege]

This is a horrible thing. Why am I laughing at these lame jokes?

[liege]

Ok. They aren’t lame.

[shankbear]

Was that on an episode of DYI??? Musta missed it.

[AmericanInTokyo]

I don't know!

No need for us to be cutting up like this on FR!

[dc27]

This is a horrible thing. Why am I laughing at these lame jokes?

Now that's funny

[dc27]

This is a horrible thing. Why am I laughing at these lame jokes?

Now that's funny

[AmericanInTokyo]

Hope nobody tries to mail a video of this into Jackass and MTV!

[Xenophon450]

I am terribly sorry but when I read this story I laughed so loud I think the neighbors might be awake. All this time and effort to kill yourself???

[Nachoman]

Some people are taking the housing bust pretty hard.

[martin_fierro]

Yup.

Wayne County.

[dfwgator]

Austin Powers: Not the time to lose one’s head.
Vanessa Kensington: No.
Austin Powers: That’s not the way to get ahead in life.
Vanessa Kensington: No.
Austin Powers: It’s a shame he wasn’t more headstrong.
Vanessa Kensington: Hmm.
Austin Powers: He’ll never be the head of a major corporation.
Vanessa Kensington: Okay, that’ll do.
Austin Powers: Okay.

[Mad_Tom_Rackham]

Guess he lost his head over something.

[llevrok]

Three people are sceduled to be executed by the guillotine: a holy man, a prophet and an engineer.

The holy man is up first. The blade drops but sticks and stops just short. "It's a miracle!", he cries". The executioner can not try twice and lets the man go free.

The next up is the prophet. "I shall be saved!", he predicts. And sure enough, the blade sticks again and stops just short. The executioner again must not commit double jeopardy and lets the prophet go.

The third one up is the engineer. Just as the executioner is about to set the blade in motion, the engineer cries out, "Hey ! Wait a minute. I think I see what the problem is!"

[efs111]

Going out of my head, over you!

[paulat]

Covert said police also found several store receipts detailing the materials used to assemble the device....

...can't imagine the look on the Home Depot's guy's face when he was asked..."What aisle's the the guillotine blades?"

[ozzymandus]

Jeeze, why work so hard just to kill yourself? Step off a tall building, walk in front of a semi, whatever.

[usmcobra]

I wonder if he planned to post it on youtube.

[Boiling point]

...and Kevorkian was...taller.

[Mad_Tom_Rackham]

“HEAD out on the highway. Lookin’ for adventure.”

[garyhope]

Because it’s the Freep and we’re funny, irreverent, and a bunch of wisenheimers with great senses of humor.

Besides all being handsome, humble and dashing also.

Wouldn’t it have been cheaper and faster for this guy to just get a bottle of pills and a 12 pack and save all that carpentry work for Norm on The New Yankee Workshop?

Kinda reminds me of that guy drilling holes in his head with an electric drill. How in the heck do you do THAT?

[paulat]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you....

--Rudyard Kipling

[tired1]

his wife must be upset that he escaped.

[endthematrix]

"This man obviously was very determined to end his life."

Ahead of his time...

[paulat]

I wonder if he planned to post it on youtube.

...as a short clip???

[Christian4Bush]

I am terribly sorry but when I read this story I laughed so loud I think the neighbors might be awake. All this time and effort to kill yourself???

I guess that made him a cut above, no matter how you slice it.

[Jaysun]

Very bizarre and creepy.

[dayglored]

> Jeeze, why work so hard just to kill yourself? Step off a tall building, walk in front of a semi, whatever.

In this respect, the guy was quite considerate of his fellow man. He didn't make a mess of himself on a public sidewalk in front of children (step off a tall building), he didn't make anyone else kill him (the semi driver).

All in all, gruesome yes, but thoughtful in a way...

[LearnsFromMistakes]

DYI - Do Yourself In?

[LesbianThespianGymnasticMidget]

Anyone ever tell you you have a real sharp sense of humor. It cuts to the bone.

All kidding aside. Was the “Shoe” guy’s credit cards used to buy the materials. Just read about his suicide note. Was there some plaque on the side of this thing that said Arkanside Harvester?

[Christian4Bush]

Going out of my head, over you!

Something's happened, and I'm head over heels
I never find out, till I'm head over heels
Something's happened, and I'm head over heels
Ah, don't take my heart, dont break my heart, don't, don't throw it away

/Tears for Fears

[Christian4Bush]

...and Kevorkian was...taller.

HOWARD PAYNE: "I'm smarter than you, Jack! I'm smarter than you...AAAAAAH....pffft"

JACK TRABIN: Yeah...but I'm taller!"

/"Speed", Keanu Reeves and Dennis Hopper, 1994

[Christian4Bush]

New product commercial: Head-Off.

Apply directly where head...used to be.

Available now at Camp Crystal Lake. See Voorhees, J...before the cut-off date.

[ConservativeofColor]

Someone must have told him hillary had a good chance of becoming our next president.

[SIDENET]

"To get the inspiration for this week's project, we looked all the way back to the French Revolution."

[usmcobra]

He got cut off in the middle of downloading it?

[Calvin Locke]

I saw one of those office paper cutters in a company. Somebody taped a warning to it:

"Keep Ears Away From Blade -Vincent"

Still, at least he didn't become a homicide bomber, or fall on somebody leaping from a BASE, or possibly mentally scar an operator of a vehicle or train by jumping in front of it.

I can think cheaper and easier ways to do it.

A few years ago, a guy walked into a local gun shop, handled a rifle, pulled a round out of his pocket...and ate it, so to speak.

[Psycho_Bunny]

Wow.

He obviously "Had it up to HERE!" with all the rest of us.

[Kickass Conservative]

First of all, please allow me to apologize in advance.

Can they return something that was only used once? Probably will be hit with a 20% restocking fee.

[Bean Counter]

Don’t ping Oregon with this one...they have enough problems with assissted suicide as it is...