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Treating Your Boss Like the Enemy Can Derail Your Career Prospects
Career Journal and Marketwatch ^ | 27 August 2007 | Marshall Loeb

Posted on 09/01/2007 4:25:43 PM PDT by shrinkermd

So you think your boss is inept, arrogant or just plain lazy? You're not alone. A recent Gallup Poll found that a bad relationship with the boss was the No. 1 reason people gave for leaving their jobs. But if you want to keep moving up the corporate rungs, you better make nice.

Having an antagonistic relationship with your supervisor is a career killer, says Cynthia Shapiro, author of the book "Corporate Confidential." "No matter how skilled you are, if you don't have a good relationship with your boss, your job is not secure," warns Shapiro...

...So how can you overcome your natural aversion to being told what to do? The trick is to treat your boss like a client, says Shapiro. Pretend like you're in business for yourself and that your boss is your most important (and quite possibly your most difficult) client.

Ask how you can provide quality service, and what you can do to differentiate yourself from the competition. And then do it. When he says or does something that leaves you feeling disgruntled, treat him as you would any other client: respectfully. Remind yourself that your livelihood depends on pleasing your client.

(Excerpt) Read more at careerjournal.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Editorial; Unclassified
KEYWORDS: attitude; boss; promotion; workplace
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This is what it takes--sometimes.
1 posted on 09/01/2007 4:25:47 PM PDT by shrinkermd
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To: shrinkermd
In the government you should never directly attack your boss or immediate co-workers ~ NEVER.

However, be prepared to drop a dime on higher level supervisors or executives at the drop of a hat ~ all federal police agencies have anonymous tipster lines of some kind.

Remember, your promotion through the lower grades in a fixed personnel complement system will frequently depend on a high degree of job churning at the upper levels.

Attend the "early retirement" parties. Have a good time.

2 posted on 09/01/2007 4:29:56 PM PDT by muawiyah
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To: shrinkermd

I’ve almost always gotten along well with my bosses. It does pay off.


3 posted on 09/01/2007 4:31:00 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Greed is NOT a conservative ideal.)
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To: shrinkermd
I never experience real success at work until I realize that I didn't work for the company, I worked for my boss.

Sounds ridiculously simple now. But I honestly had no idea my real function was to make my immediate superior look good.

4 posted on 09/01/2007 4:35:39 PM PDT by skeeter
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To: shrinkermd

I’ve been blessed. I’ve only had one really bad boss along the way, and we hung him with his own rope years ago, LOL!

And that’s counting a 20-year military career, so that’s saying something!

The one I have now is terrific. She’s totally “hands off” and trusts me to do my job. HOWEVER, I have found that ‘The Secret to My Success’ lies in still checking in with her weekly as to what I’m up to and to reassure her that all is well. :)


5 posted on 09/01/2007 4:37:38 PM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (Save The Earth. It's The Only Planet With Chocolate.)
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To: shrinkermd

Sucking up: It’s always appropriate and never uncalled for.


6 posted on 09/01/2007 4:37:51 PM PDT by Nachoman (My guns and my ammo, they comfort me.)
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To: skeeter
I never experience real success at work until I realize that I didn't work for the company, I worked for my boss.

And if he tells you to do something stupid, just do it. If an even higher up reams you for it, accept the blame because your boss has more pull with the higher up and will remember you covering for him.
7 posted on 09/01/2007 4:38:56 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Greed is NOT a conservative ideal.)
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To: cripplecreek
And if he tells you to do something stupid, just do it.

AS long as you gotta work for someone else.

Its tough passing this kind of advise off to your kid, but its probably the best advise a parent could offer.

8 posted on 09/01/2007 4:41:36 PM PDT by skeeter
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To: shrinkermd
"Having an antagonistic relationship with your supervisor is a career killer"

Thank you Captain Obvious.
9 posted on 09/01/2007 4:41:51 PM PDT by stm (Fred Thompson in 08!)
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To: shrinkermd
Secret to success. Help your boss get his job done.
10 posted on 09/01/2007 4:43:10 PM PDT by Doe Eyes
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To: muawiyah
That drop a dime works in Utilities as well. My strategy was be real good at what you did, select the brightest of your crew, pound the finer points of the power biz into their rather thick skulls and recommend them for promotion, I was never terribly ambitious. After a while all your bosses are those that you helped up the ladder.

As my old man used to say I would rather be a CPO than an Admiral.

11 posted on 09/01/2007 4:47:31 PM PDT by Little Bill (Welcome to the Newly Socialist State of New Hampshire)
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To: skeeter

12 posted on 09/01/2007 5:02:19 PM PDT by jimboster (fROM)
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To: shrinkermd

Ironically, few people realize that what pleases a typical, ordinary boss is not what you might think. (And most companies would prefer that there employees not know this.)

The #1 most important thing as far as most bosses are concerned is that an employee does not make work for them. And not just physical or paperwork, either. No emotional work or even energy expended thinking about them, is what makes for the “best” employees.

Actual assigned work that is not objective, like fixing things or building things, is often an illusion. Employees are often punished by their boss for doing things they think are helpful:

1) Working efficiently and faster than other employees.
2) Performing more work than other employees.
3) Actively soliciting work and jockeying for responsibility.
4) Helping others to do their work.

While these are clearly helpful on the surface, they annoy a lot of bosses, because they force them to pay attention and expend energy.

The reason is that most bosses are like regular employees. They see work as just a way to make money, with their real life being when they are not working. Anything that adds stress or requires more of a commitment at work is not good.

An enthusiastic employee to a boss is like a hyperactive child is to a school teacher, a disruption that makes their job harder.

So as long as an employee is well kempt, polite, and out of the way enough that the boss likes to see them when they do show up, they are far more likely to be highly rated, and are seen by the boss more as a peer than a subordinate.

As a final irony, unlike the typical employees under foot, the out of sight employee is more likely to be rated on actual objective criteria, than the subjective criteria used on employees the boss has to “deal with” frequently. And this in turn leads to a higher rating.


13 posted on 09/01/2007 5:03:13 PM PDT by Popocatapetl
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To: shrinkermd

And this is one place where unions have a purpose.... taking on inept bosses.


14 posted on 09/01/2007 5:04:25 PM PDT by Porterville (I'm an American. If you hate Americans, I hope our enemies destroy you. I will pray for my soul.)
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To: shrinkermd
So how can you overcome your natural aversion to being told what to do?

I object to this line. The problem isn't being told what to do. It's being told to do what is obviously wrong by someone who will throw you under the buss whether you do it or not.

My current boss is great. Unfortunately, this is not the norm.

15 posted on 09/01/2007 5:05:04 PM PDT by irv
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To: jimboster
Close, but I always avoided wearing loud patterns in the office.

(Highwater pants are a career killer, too)

16 posted on 09/01/2007 5:06:17 PM PDT by skeeter
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To: shrinkermd
Treat others respectfully even when they don't reciprocate. The world isn't fair and while you can do anything about other people's behavior, especially the boss's, you can do something about your own. Do the best work you can and if the boss is difficult do all you can to make it right. That's all any one can humanely do.

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus

17 posted on 09/01/2007 5:09:31 PM PDT by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives In My Heart Forever)
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To: shrinkermd

This is all nice and fine if moving up the ladder is your highest priority in your career, above your integrity, sense of fairness, and just plain good sense. Helping your boss stab someone in the back, or looking the other way when he does, or allowing him/her to place there personal whims above the law or regulations, or just plain fairness, may get you the promotion someday.....living with yourself afterward is a different story. Answering to God in the end could be quite shocking.

There are very few in upper managment that I respect much because they have had to sell out what I believe to be higher values than career success. However, there are those that get to the top clean, and I have great respect for them.

Its just a career. Something to enrich your life while here on earth, but not the pie itself.


18 posted on 09/01/2007 5:15:26 PM PDT by HerrBlucher (Tack it up and shut em down Fred!)
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To: shrinkermd
I came here looking for the captain Obvious picture to go with that headline. :o)
19 posted on 09/01/2007 5:19:36 PM PDT by IllumiNaughtyByNature (I buy gas for my SUV with the Carbon Offsets I sell on Ebay!)
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To: Popocatapetl

This is the best post of all so far. Sounds like you work for the government. Not only does working effeciently cause problems in all workplaces. The more you do the more you get; yet everyone takes home a paycheck on payday. I have found working for your own self-satisfaction is the best policy. Pay no attention to production around you and responsibly do your job. Challenges within your job classification are easy to find if you are looking for them. And you have to learn to eat cake!


20 posted on 09/01/2007 5:21:32 PM PDT by Snoopers-868th
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To: HerrBlucher

You are running right along side post 13. Either one of you have it down pat. I am in agreement.


21 posted on 09/01/2007 5:23:56 PM PDT by Snoopers-868th
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To: HerrBlucher

Try having a boss that hits on you, and then takes it out on you when you don’t go out with him.

That was one of my first bosses. I didn’t complain officially about him, but a woman was hired to be my boss’ boss. She found out how he was treating me, and my boss got demoted.

I was lucky that my office mate and other co-workers saw what was going on. They told my boss’ boss.


22 posted on 09/01/2007 5:28:29 PM PDT by luckystarmom
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To: shrinkermd

If personal social desires are more important to your boss than what the company needs, go to the next job. Most jobs are only temporary projects for most employees and contractors.


23 posted on 09/01/2007 5:31:16 PM PDT by familyop (cbt. engr. (cbt.)--has-been, will write Duncan Hunter in)
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To: Little Bill

I worked your strategy on a slightly different level......myself also not wishing to accept the demands of moving higher in the management chain....

As an Engineering Group Middle Manager, I had an almost unlimited budget to hire anyone I really wanted, with the authority to name many 1st and 2nd line Engineering or Manufacturing managers...

Well, I wanted ONLY those from the top 5% of the graduating class from the top Engineering Graduate Schools.

Over more that 20 years, I had amassed clearly the most talented and successful Engineers on the plant site of a VERY large Worldwide High Tech corporation.

They moved quickly beyond my own organization — into positions as high as Directors, Vice Presidents and a couple of Presidents of large business groups within the corporation....

My last 10 years with the corporation, were GOLDEN...
I had my choice of assignments, locations, travel, office space, unchallenged expense accounts/statements, etc, etc.......
Everyone around KNEW the history, and KNEW that many of the managers up their line of management were proteges of mine..

My 6 was covered like a blanket and my salary far exceed my true contribution to the corporation...

The mistake too many managers make, is to hire folks they feel will not threaten their own job...
This is wrong headed.
One should hire the brightest he can afford.
It makes one’s job easier and more interesting to see how a brighter person attacks the problems that are presented....


24 posted on 09/01/2007 5:32:20 PM PDT by river rat (Semper Fi - You may turn the other cheek, but I prefer to look into my enemy's vacant dead eyes.)
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To: HerrBlucher
This is all nice and fine if moving up the ladder is your highest priority in your career, above your integrity, sense of fairness, and just plain good sense.

I never had to commit any ethical compromise or betrayal - I simply added greater emphasis to the perspective of my boss in my decision making process.

Nothing wrong with wanting as stress free work environment as possible, and a steady paycheck comes in handy when trying to raise a family...

25 posted on 09/01/2007 5:34:46 PM PDT by skeeter
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To: shrinkermd

My theory is simple, if you want to move up, produce more than you are currently being paid for.


26 posted on 09/01/2007 5:37:09 PM PDT by DB
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To: shrinkermd

Someone had to actually think about this?

There is a reason behind the old saying that s*** rolls down hill.


27 posted on 09/01/2007 5:38:14 PM PDT by DakotaRed (Liberals don't rattle sabers, they wave white flags)
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To: HerrBlucher
This is all nice and fine if moving up the ladder is your highest priority in your career, above your integrity, sense of fairness, and just plain good sense. Helping your boss stab someone in the back, or looking the other way when he does, or allowing him/her to place there personal whims above the law or regulations, or just plain fairness, may get you the promotion someday.....living with yourself afterward is a different story. Answering to God in the end could be quite shocking.

There was one place I worked at, the surest way to get promoted was to be the minion of whoever was senior to you, and do their bidding without regard to the policy and official objectives of the organization. After a while I could not stomach the place any more

At another place, I was informed by my manager that one of my most important jobs, as technical lead, was to convince the people under me that the latest management initiative was the greatest thing since sliced bread, without regard to my personal opinion. One reason why I stayed with software consulting rather than moving into the management hierarchy, even turning down the CTO slot at a reasonably large company

28 posted on 09/01/2007 5:41:36 PM PDT by SauronOfMordor (Open Season rocks http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymLJz3N8ayI)
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To: shrinkermd

I’ll thrown in another big no-no - never show your boss any loss of control. Never let yourself be perceived as being governed by emotion.


29 posted on 09/01/2007 5:43:08 PM PDT by The Duke (I have met the enemy, and he is named 'Apathy'!)
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To: Snoopers-868th
I work in academia, which is worse than the government.

My boss is a lazy liar who finds fault with everything I do - even when I do exactly what he told me to do.

I have more degrees than he does, I am better at my job than he was when he had it, and the guy drinks like a fish.

How do I survive?

He doesn't know that I am out the door on October 1. I have a job offer at twice the money working for a person I respect. When I took vacation this year - first time in 8 years on the job - the guy threw a fit. When I give him 2 weeks notice, I expect he will do the same. But, it's not my problem.

30 posted on 09/01/2007 5:44:46 PM PDT by Volunteer (Just so you know, I am ashamed the Dixie Chicks make records in Nashville.)
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To: DakotaRed
There is a reason behind the old saying that s*** rolls down hill.

And often, regarding _some_ managers, the old saying "Scum Floats".

31 posted on 09/01/2007 5:48:53 PM PDT by Gorzaloon (Food imported from China = Cesspool + Flavor-Straw™)
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To: cripplecreek
And if he tells you to do something stupid, just do it.

Would this advice apply to someone working in the healthcare industry; or, more specifically, to someone working in the healthcare industry... on a member of your family?

What about the airline industry... a mechanic, for instance?

32 posted on 09/01/2007 5:51:05 PM PDT by tgslTakoma
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To: tgslTakoma

Obviously not, that’s just plain stupid.

One example I can remember is a boss telling me to paint a certain part a color that those parts just didn’t come in. I asked him once if he was sure and accepted his yes.


33 posted on 09/01/2007 5:57:03 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Greed is NOT a conservative ideal.)
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To: river rat
I worked at 1st and 2nd Managers positions for most of my career, which I liked, I more or less had to take the trash they forced on me, Utilities are VERY political and you don't get the best.

I would do one of my famous 15 min interviews, the Utility Biz is also very small and incestuous in my area there are no secrets and the people I hired had to have experience. I had no high flyer's but those that survived did well.

34 posted on 09/01/2007 5:59:50 PM PDT by Little Bill (Welcome to the Newly Socialist State of New Hampshire)
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To: shrinkermd

And in other news — underwear is worn under your clothing and each shoe should be on the proper foot.


35 posted on 09/01/2007 6:02:51 PM PDT by durasell (!)
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To: river rat

So effing true!
Small minded people hire people who they feel will not threaten them or be more talented by them. What they end up with is a vortex of ineptitude, and an eventual pink slip.


36 posted on 09/01/2007 6:03:36 PM PDT by vikk
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To: shrinkermd
Treating Your Boss Like the Enemy Can Derail Your Career Prospects

Duh

37 posted on 09/01/2007 6:04:19 PM PDT by MEGoody (Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.)
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To: cripplecreek
I am a trained executive secretary, and all of my jobs were for a temp agency that employed my SIL as a VP. After reading every response, you can clearly see why I never took a permanent position! Two weeks was my limit, although I did take one for six weeks and it was heaven. I was the only employee!

As a stranger coming into a work environment, I can tell you that I have been plopped down in front of 500K systems that I didn’t know how to use and nobody was willing to show me, gotten the lowdown on everybody in less than three minutes at a desk, or watched a grown man cry because his long-time secretary walked out on him one Friday and never came back. Being a corporate temp is alot like being the night shift waitress at a truck stop...the sights you see when you don’t have a gun!

38 posted on 09/01/2007 6:07:41 PM PDT by ishabibble (ALL-AMERICAN INFIDEL)
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To: The Duke
Yes, emotional control is an important asset. It is also a cue as to a person's social class. You might be interested in reading about social class and employment: HERE.
39 posted on 09/01/2007 6:17:19 PM PDT by shrinkermd
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To: shrinkermd

Just wait till you have three owners (bosses). Snively Whiplash, Uriah Heep and Boss Hogg. It’s not about your perceptions.


40 posted on 09/01/2007 6:18:26 PM PDT by nkycincinnatikid
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To: shrinkermd; The Mayor; trooprally; Doctor Raoul


I clicked on this link figuring it was a warning to politicians to beware offending their constituencies.

Why isn’t it?



41 posted on 09/01/2007 6:19:37 PM PDT by The Spirit Of Allegiance (Public Employees: Honor Your Oaths! Defend the Constitution from Enemies--Foreign and Domestic!)
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To: Volunteer

Yes, integrity is very important. A survey of 1500 mid-managers found that “integrity” was the overwhelming number one attribute of successful employees.


42 posted on 09/01/2007 6:21:30 PM PDT by shrinkermd
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To: nkycincinnatikid

Or people skills, or career, You just get the heck out.


43 posted on 09/01/2007 6:22:53 PM PDT by nkycincinnatikid
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To: shrinkermd
"The trick is to treat your boss like a client, says Shapiro. Pretend like you're in business for yourself and that your boss is your most important (and quite possibly your most difficult) client.

Ask how you can provide quality service, and what you can do to differentiate yourself from the competition. And then do it. "

I had the same thoughts just recently. It can work with difficult co-workers too! : )

44 posted on 09/01/2007 6:24:56 PM PDT by TAdams8591 ( Guiliani is a Democrat in Republican drag. Mitt Romney for president in 2008! : ))
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To: shrinkermd

45 posted on 09/01/2007 6:24:58 PM PDT by Luke Skyfreeper
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To: skeeter

Depending what the “something stupid” is, I disagree.


46 posted on 09/01/2007 6:26:59 PM PDT by ItisaReligionofPeace
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To: shrinkermd

Most obvious headline of the week. If your boss is a jerk, either pretend you like him or quit. Same applies to having a bad teacher in school. We’re all forced to get along with some real turds at some point in our lives.


47 posted on 09/01/2007 6:32:18 PM PDT by ozzymandus
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To: Popocatapetl

My boss was always happy with me as long as nobody went to him complaining about me. I did my job competently, without any chest-beating, and I didn’t pi** anybody off. This made him treasure me, because he had SO many prima donnas working for him that he expended most of his time having to deal with the fallout from them.


48 posted on 09/01/2007 6:39:24 PM PDT by Inspectorette
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To: shrinkermd
This is a really tough one. Important but still a tough one. Particularly in the tech world where you have to manage your own marketability yet can easily find yourself with a boss that is technically inept and has no greater fear than an engineer reporting to him that can replace him.

Such person is highly insecure and will never admit to any uncertainty concerning a matter. They cannot give proper direction. They are unable to distinguish between 5 minute and 5 day tasks and generally spend their careers squandering human capital.

Unfortunately, this is par for life in a large corporation, especially once the frat boys and sorority sisters take over.

49 posted on 09/01/2007 6:42:31 PM PDT by fso301
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To: The Duke
I’ll thrown in another big no-no - never show your boss any loss of control. Never let yourself be perceived as being governed by emotion.

One year at the Christmas party my wife had a few martinis and had a "talk" with my boss. The next day I was issued a written warning.

50 posted on 09/01/2007 6:45:24 PM PDT by Cementjungle
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