Sigh. We have a son who has Asperger's and obsessive-compulsive disorder. It has a neurological - that is physical - and not a psychological basis. It never was psychological - his brain is structured and connected differently. It's not a question of coping or parental sins.
Or take a girl who is going to die if she is not hospitalized for anorexia nervosa. She's allowed one month. Maybe only a week. She has relapses, like a kid who comes out of remission for cancer. Maybe her disease started off as emotional illness - she was trying to control her problems by not eating - but by now it's produced physical changes in her brain as well as life-threatening changes in her body. Her parents may have spent their house and their pensions trying to save her life.
Actually medicine is cheap, relatively speaking. Therapy and hospitalization are expensive.
You can argue that we just can't afford this. There used to be big state institutions where crazy people were kept and not given treatment. That might save money.
But don't blame parents who don't teach their kids to cope. My dad was a child of the Great Depression, self-reliant, learned great coping skills from his parents and a loving extended family - and he went crazy with paranoia and depression and killed himself when he was forty. If there had been good treatment back then, he might still be around.
I'm very sorry for your own personal tragedy in your life.
No matter how close these things get to us it should not allow us to blame other people for our own actions. Or blame other's for the actions of our loved ones.
I know it seems like if your father had the help he needed that he would of been better.
The fact is people all around this country kill themselves everyday even after receiving all the help in the world. That's because they make a personal choice that life isn't worth living anymore. No amount of help can ever change that decision. As one person said. You either get busy living or you get busy dying.
Since I believe in God I have to stem my idea from what I know is my basic understanding of the bible.
Either you have to believe that since suicide sends you to hell that everyone has free will and is responsible for their own choice regardless of circumstances... or... you have to believe that God puts people on this planet to commit horrible acts that in some way don't affect them(ie soulless or automatically absolved because of their forced event) in order to influence other's or make some of impact on those people around that person in order to teach some sort of "lesson".
The 2nd may seem far fetched.. but if you think mental illness has no cure and is not the fault of the individual then you have to believe the 2nd.. that there is no capacity for change.