When mommy goes off to war, it's rough on kids [sickening]

The Seattle Times ^ | 11/28/06 | Donna St. George

[XR7]

HAVRE DE GRACE, Md. — When they called her name, she could not move. Sgt. Leana Nishimura intended to walk up proudly, shake the dignitaries' hands and accept their honors for her service in Iraq — a special coin, a lapel pin, a glass-encased U.S. flag.

But her son clung to her leg. He cried and held tight...T.J. was 9, her oldest child, and although eight months had passed since she had returned from the war zone, he was still upset by anything that reminded him of her deployment...

The faraway move to live with his grandmother. The months that went by without his mother's kisses or hugs, without her scrutiny of homework, her teasing humor, her familiar bedtime songs.

Nishimura was a single mother — with no spouse to take over, to preserve her children's routines, to keep up the family apartment.

Of her three children, T.J. seemed to worry most... "He went from having one parent to having no parents, basically," Nishimura said, reflecting. "People have said, 'Thank you so much for your sacrifice.' But it's the children who have had more of a sacrifice."

When war started in Iraq, a generation of U.S. women became involved as never before — in a wider-than-ever array of jobs, for long deployments, in a conflict with daily bloodshed. More than 155,000 women have served in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Among their ranks are more than 16,000 single mothers, according to the Pentagon, a number that military experts say is unprecedented.

How these women have coped and how their children are managing have gone little noticed as the war stretches across a fourth year...

"I tell [the children] that if God needs Mommy to go ... then Mommy's going to have to go again and they're going to have to let me."

[XR7]

This makes me ill.
For centuries, men have gone to war to protect their women and children.
Now we send the women and mothers. That's social suicide.
Chivalry is dead.
Our boys are raised to be "tolerant" and gay.
Girls are supposed to be tough ("grrlz").
We are living in the Brave New World indeed.

"I tell [the children] that if God needs Mommy to go ... then Mommy's going to have to go again and they're going to have to let me."

God did not "tell Mommy to go."
It is a society that has turned its back on God that allows a mother to go to war, when there are plenty of able-bodied men.

[Allegra]

God did not "tell Mommy to go."

Mommy chose to go.

And last I looked, we are a free nation.

[VRWCmember]

The feminists wanted "equal" opportunity in the military, which meant that we could no longer segregate duties to keep women out of combat roles. Unfortunately, none of the grownups who were supposed to be in charge had the balls to tell them to forget it.

[traditional1]

"Nishimura was a single mother "

Uh, excuse me, but what is a "single mother"? I believe in the old days (before political correctness was enshrined by Liberals) that less-flattering terms were used to describe out-of-wedlock mothers.

[Nat Turner]

no more men-- feminism and political correctness neutered them...

[wideawake]

We have a volunteer army.

If you want to argue for conscription, make a foursquare argument for conscription.

But spare us the melodramatic handwringing.

[avalon]

Don't you know? The feminist don't want "those type of women." You know, those that actually serve in the military?

SEE: Jessica Lynch, Shoshonna (sp?) Johnson.

[cripplecreek]

I tend to see women as equal and in some cases more equal but I still have a hard time with the idea of sending them into combat.

It's a little different for women without children but I'm still not thrilled with the actual combat role. My grandmother served in the WAVEs during WWII but she was a single unwed and childless woman.

[Eric in the Ozarks]

I recall when the first Gulf War took off and the Air Guard F-16 squadron in Duluth, MN was activated. The support staff was mostly female and a lot of mommies found out what the National Guard can really mean.

[Joann37]

It's not that men won't go; she VOLUNTEERED to do so. She CHOSE to have children without benefit of marriage; she chose to have them raised by her own mother; she chose to enlist. And this writer is trying to make us feel guilty for this woman's own choices?

[Antoninus]

Mommy chose to go. And last I looked, we are a free nation.

Sure, she was free to go. But we are free to decry her decision.

[mvpel]

The Islamists are having a dozen children per woman, and we're sending our mothers into war zones. I wonder which civilization will endure in the long run?

[XR7]

Unfortunately, none of the grownups who were supposed to be in charge had the balls to tell them to forget it.

Including our current "Commander-in-Chief."
President Reagan would have asked: "If not now, when?"
After six years with a Republican Congress - it won't be anytime soon.

[jgilbert63]

"Of her three children, T.J. seemed to worry most... "He went from having one parent to having no parents, basically," Nishimura said, reflecting. "People have said, 'Thank you so much for your sacrifice.' But it's the children who have had more of a sacrifice.""

Well, if the children sacrificed, it was by Nishimura's own hand. She willingly signed up to serve and knew she could be deployed at a moments notice. I'm out on a limb betting she wasn't worried about the sacrifice when she was back stateside at a desk job, using her GI Bill monies, and cashing her paychecks at the PX. BOTTOMLINE: She needs to STFU.

[XR7]

We have a volunteer army.

Yeah. An Army that should be men.
We are a nation ruled by pussies.

[Spok]

Women (some) have been shrieking for decades that they want to be treated the same as men. And this one volunteered.
The underlying presumption seems to be that white males have always lived a life of ease and privilege and have been stingy about sharing it. This presumption ignores little things like wars, working conditions, competition, stress, suicide rates and premature death. If they want to live like men, they'd better be ready to pay the price.

[Steel Wolf]

It's not that men won't go; she VOLUNTEERED to do so. She CHOSE to have children without benefit of marriage; she chose to have them raised by her own mother; she chose to enlist.

It's not about us feeling guilt for her decisions. It's criticism of our society for allowing it. Not an unfair criticism, either. Any society that has unwed mothers going to war has something wrong with it.

[Antoninus]

And this writer is trying to make us feel guilty for this woman's own choices?

I don't feel guilty at all. I feel sympathy for the poor kid whose mother made such atrocious decisions in her life. Joining or remaining in the military and basically abandoning your children is not noble in any way.

[XR7]

The Islamists are having a dozen children per woman, and we're sending our mothers into war zones. I wonder which civilization will endure in the long run?

Me too.

[bmwcyle]

Let's feel sorry for equal rights. /sarcasm

[peggybac]

"Uh, excuse me, but what is a "single mother"? I believe in the old days (before political correctness was enshrined by Liberals) that less-flattering terms were used to describe out-of-wedlock mothers."

I completely agree with you. I hate the term "single mother." If I were divorced or widowed, I'd never refer to myself as a single mother. It makes it sound like there is and was no male ever involved. God, I hate the feminists and the PC language police.

[Antoninus]

It's not about us feeling guilt for her decisions. It's criticism of our society for allowing it. Not an unfair criticism, either. Any society that has unwed mothers going to war has something wrong with it.

We live in a very sick society. Most of Western society is sick, including Israel. I pray every day that the illness isn't terminal. As bad as the West has become, they're still a far cry better than the buzzards out there waiting to feast on the corpse.

[Allegra]

But we are free to decry her decision.

Yes, you are certainly free to be judgmental of others, even though you don't know the whole situation.

I guess when you're perfect, you can sit around and judge others.

[Tzimisce]

...if this woman doesn't want to go, why is she in the military? The Iraq war is older than four years isn't it?

[Rakkasan1]

Mommy wanted into VMI.Mommy should be available for the draft,too if Mommy wants her GI bill.

[wideawake]

Yeah. An Army that should be men.

Do you really believe there are no men in the Army?

Again, if you want to argue that women should be banned from volunteering for military service or that men should be conscripted for military service, go ahead.

We are a nation ruled by pussies.

I see you've moved from melodramatic comments to stupid ones.

Please tell us about your own military service.

[girlangler]

How about unmarried women with sperm donors?

I know a young woman who has had two by the same man, who she has never been married to, and when I speak with her I ask her how her sperm donor is doing.

He is not a father, husband, provider, etc., but simply a sperm donor.

[L98Fiero]

"It's not that men won't go; she VOLUNTEERED to do so. She CHOSE to have children without benefit of marriage; she chose to have them raised by her own mother; she chose to enlist. And this writer is trying to make us feel guilty for this woman's own choices?"

Ding, ding! You win. :)

[dmz]

Single mother does not equal out-of-wedlock mother, ace.

My dad died in 1963. My mom became a single mother. It happens a lot.

[Antoninus]

Yes, you are certainly free to be judgmental of others, even though you don't know the whole situation. I guess when you're perfect, you can sit around and judge others.

Oh, right. Not allowed to hurt anyone's feelings on FR. Since when did we become a load of panty-wearing "non-judgmental" sissies around here?

Based on what is contained in this article, the decisions made by this woman were atrocious and harmful to her kid. If you don't like that opinion, tough.

[Baynative]

"Nishimura was a single mother ..."

WAS ? IS? So, the kids are troubled over their tumultuous lives and the balmes goes to ...

[Allegra]

Mommy wanted into VMI.Mommy should be available for the draft,too if Mommy wants her GI bill.

I've been away for a while. When did they start the draft up again?

[trisham]

Of her three children, T.J. seemed to worry most... "He went from having one parent to having no parents, basically," Nishimura said, reflecting. "People have said, 'Thank you so much for your sacrifice.' But it's the children who have had more of a sacrifice."

**************

Good grief. This woman is incomprehensible.

[RexBeach]

Yup. How about what happened to the word "chairman?"

Women are "chairs" and men are also "chairs" of organizations.

Woe unto the person who invokes the word "man."

Oh, brother,er, I mean oh, sister.

[Dick Bachert]

Yep, it's simply a logical (more correctly, ILLOGICAL) conclusion of the feminist movement and its confluence with the feminist war on boys, most of whom have been successfully deballed.

Thank you Bela, Gloria and Betty.

[steve-b]

The Islamists have an economy based on a single resource that will be replaced and depleted within a few decades, and lack the social institutions that will enable them to develop other sources of wealth. Having lots of children at that point will merely cause them to starve faster.

[billbears]

She CHOSE to have children without benefit of marriage

Well good. Shows you read the article...

Her ex-husband paid child support. Still, she only scraped by, with the help of public assistance.

Good to see 'conservatives' still up on their high horses. I was starting to worry..You don't know jack about this woman's situation but still you judge. I don't know why she signed up in the National Guard but I bet when she did she didn't envision going off to fight the war of the purple finger either. Course you can feel comforted..

"I tell [the children] that if God needs Mommy to go ... then Mommy's going to have to go again and they're going to have to let me."

Yep, she's swallowed the nationalism/patriotism/faith line. God told her to go...

[TexasCajun]

And what business does a 'single-mother' of 3 have joining the military?

Isn't a mother's first responsibility to her children?

[Allegra]

What an unmitigated jerk you are.

You should be thankful that your life is so worry-free that you have time to sit around bitching and whining about what other people do.

You're probably one of those busybody neighbors that normal people despise.

You bore me.

[Rakkasan1]

they haven't . my point is if the feminist who force their way into VMI and want to be 'trained fighters' really want equality, they'd demand to be subject to the selective service requirements(IE: the possibilty of being drafted-preferably into all-female units)

[thinking]

For my observation, there is a rapidly declining pool of able men...and for any "enemy" analysis, the graying of society, and the decline(disappearance) of males, would be a signal, they we are weak, and prime for a take over....a country run by females, will never last

[Allegra]

they haven't . my point is if the feminist who force their way into VMI and want to be 'trained fighters' really want equality, they'd demand to be subject to the selective service requirements(IE: the possibilty of being drafted-preferably into all-female units)

I've got no argument with that.

[Antoninus]

What an unmitigated jerk you are.

Feeling a little judgmental, eh?

[TWfromTEXAS]

Uh, excuse me, but what is a "single mother"? I believe in the old days (before political correctness was enshrined by Liberals) that less-flattering terms were used to describe out-of-wedlock mothers.

Uh, excuse me, but the article refers to her ex-husband. Perhaps you should read it and we should ask where the hell he is?

[trisham]

You bore me.

************

I would say there is no evidence to support this claim.

[Cicero]

I'm not judging the woman in question. She just did what our culture told her to do.

The real question is, how come the feminists insist that women should have an equal right to be in combat, and then turn around and condemn the war effort? Isn't this what they wanted: the right to be a single mom, the right to fight in the military?

Which raises the question, why would they want women to have the right to commit atrocities alongside men, which is the way leftists think of any just war we fight?

[Allegra]

You're also a tad immature. There's something wrong with you.

Seriously.

[Antoninus]

Good to see 'conservatives' still up on their high horses. I was starting to worry..You don't know jack about this woman's situation but still you judge. I don't know why she signed up in the National Guard but I bet when she did she didn't envision going off to fight the war of the purple finger either. Course you can feel comforted..

The fact that we have 'single-mothers of three' serving in our military at all is a national disgrace.

[XR7]

Any society that has unwed mothers going to war has something wrong with it.

Women in Combat: A Time for Truth
by R. Albert Mohler, Jr.

The Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal continues to dominate the world’s headlines, even as the incriminating photographs have become some of the most discussed — and infamous — images in history. Nevertheless, missing from most of this conversation is any reference to the obvious — the fact that the smiling face of the tormentor in so many of these photographs is an American woman in uniform.

Why are we not hearing more about the issue of women in combat? The current war in Iraq raises this issue most urgently, because women have been deployed in front-line units from the very beginning of this effort. The famous case of Pfc. Jessica Lynch should have been sufficient to awaken Americans to the fact that women are now serving alongside men throughout the combat theatre.

The inclusion of women in active combat roles completes the project pushed so aggressively by feminists in the 1970s and 1980s and then institutionalized by the Clinton administration in the 1990s. Women now serve in a multiplicity of combat roles, and the armed services claim a goal of “interchangeability” between men and women in most units.

According to Newsweek, women now compose about 15 percent of the Army, 13 percent of the Navy, 19 percent of the Air Force, and 6 percent of the Marines. The proportion of jobs open to women ranges from 91 percent in the Army to 99 percent in the Air Force. Even though women are not yet allowed in infantry, artillery, or armor units, women serve in other front-line combat positions, including service as fighter pilots. Women may not serve in the elite Special Forces units or on the Navy’s submarines, but they can be found throughout most of the other combat-ready units in uniform.

The inclusion of women in the armed forces — and in especially in combat units — was demanded by feminists as a step toward full equality for women. Reversing millennia of human wisdom, feminists claimed that exclusion of women from combat service amounted to a form of unconstitutional discrimination. The decision to incorporate women in fighting units came in the aftermath of the Vietnam War, when the military was itself at a low point of morale, and when the Pentagon’s leadership was especially susceptible to political correctness. With much fanfare, women were put in uniform and in the public eye.

Of course, the military did not publicly acknowledge that in order to incorporate women in fighting units, the services had to lower physical requirements and redefine terms of service. These “redefined” terms of service would come to public attention from time to time, such as when the presence of pregnant soldiers became a complication on the battlefield.

To the Arab mind, the most grotesque dimension of the Abu Ghraib scandal is symbolized in the presence of Pfc. Lynndie R. England, the female prison guard shown with a “thumbs up” gesture and a wide grin pointing to the genitals of a naked Iraqi prisoner. In another picture, Private England, age 21, is shown holding a leash attached to the neck of a chained and collared Iraqi detainee. These photographic images are fast becoming iconic in the Arab world.

These photographs represent far more than pictures of prisoner abuse. To Muslims, this represents utter disrespect for all men, and the total degradation of women. Nothing could be more insulting to Arab moral sensibilities than this — and Muslim outrage over sexual humiliation at the hands of uniformed women will endure long after American troops are no longer in Iraq.

Arabs prize modesty, and Muslim men are not even to show their full nakedness in the presence of other men — much less women. Furthermore, to force a Muslim man to strip naked before a foreign woman is to humiliate him beyond Arab imagination. The Americans went even further than this, forcing the naked Iraqi detainees to perform real and simulated sex acts with the American women watching — and leering.

In an interview with KCNC-TV, the CBS affiliate in Denver, Colorado, Pfc. England explained the tactics she and her colleagues used on the prisoners. “We just humiliated them, got them naked, made them run up and down, you know, get them exhausted.” She clearly understood what this meant to the Iraqi men: “I’m a female, and in the Muslim culture it’s very embarrassing or humiliating to be naked in front of another female, especially if it’s an American.”

Columnist Suzanne Fields of The Washington Times also understands the moral equation. “Being guarded, punished, and humiliated by American women in Abu Ghraib prison challenges the very essence of what it means to be a Muslim man stuck on the lowest rung of the world power hierarchy,” she commented.

An unnamed U.S. Army official told TIME magazine that sexual humiliation can be an acceptable tool used to “break down” an enemy by exposing his psychological vulnerability. “When women have power and control over you, that sets the whole male psyche out of its equilibrium,” he said. “He’s not dominant anymore. It’s not for the squeamish. But the typical Arab male will do anything to avoid it. . . . The overall process is one of humiliating these people.”

Americans are rightly humiliated by the entire spectacle. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld’s surprise visit to the Abu Ghraib prison yesterday may begin a process of re-establishing order and credibility in the detention center program, but far more remains to be done.

Don’t expect much attention to be directed to the women in combat issue. The Pentagon has trouble enough dealing with the armed struggle, the struggle for world opinion, and the task of rebuilding Iraq. The military brass is not likely to take on the feminists as well. The culture of political correctness treats women in combat as a non-issue, but it will not remain that way forever.

Christian moral teaching holds that military service is for men — not women. The Bible presents a comprehensive pattern of differentiation between men and women. Men are to protect women, even as women bear a special responsibility as nurturers — as wives and mothers. Scriptural texts indicate that war is for men, and “wives,” “little ones,” and cattle are to remain in the land while men go to war [Joshua 1:14]. Christians have understood this pattern for centuries, even if some appear confused in the present. Evangelical historian Harold O. J. Brown observed this consistent teaching within the Christian tradition: “Within both Judaism and Christianity, indeed almost universally in all human culture, the military profession has been reserved for males.”

The presence of women in combat forces degrades humanity, putting women in the line of fire while sending all the wrong messages about family, gender, and moral honor. The Abu Ghraib scandal demonstrates that women do not raise the moral level of men in warfare. To the contrary, it looks as if the men lower the moral status of the women.

Historian Walter McDougall commented that, “one of the central goals of the feminist movement is to establish a fully sexually integrated military, trained, fit, and ready to engage in combat. . . . The United States today is the only serious military power in history to contemplate thorough sexual integration of its armed forces. And thanks to an adamant feminist lobby, a conspiracy of silence in the officer corps, and the anodyne state of debate over the issue, the brave new world of female infantry, bomber pilots, submariners, and drill sergeants may lie just around the corner.” Then again, maybe that world is already here.

A 2001 article in Newsweek offered a glimpse into the world of women in military service and its impact on the family. In the article, U.S. Army M/Sgt. Kelly Tyler told of her 10-year-old son. “You know how kids are always changing what they want to be when they grow up?,” she asked. “The other night [her son] told me he wanted to be a war protester so that I wouldn’t ever have to leave him.” That comment is sadder than sad. The inclusion of women in combat military units is a challenge to the moral character of the American people. This little boy’s protest says it all.

LINK to article: http://www.visionforum.org/issues/women_in_the_military

[Centurion2000]

Uh, excuse me, but what is a "single mother"? I believe in the old days (before political correctness was enshrined by Liberals) that less-flattering terms were used to describe out-of-wedlock mothers.

Like what exactly? Serious vocabulary question actually.