ABSOLUTELY NO WARRANTY QUITCLAIM DEAD.....WHOOPS.....QUITCLAIM DEED TO AL-ZARQAWI HOUSE
SPECIAL NOTICE: a Quitclaim Deed conveys whatever interest a party has in a parcel of real estate, without warranty. I am willing to give a Quitclaim Deed for any interest I may have --- WHICH IS NO INTEREST --- in what is left of al-Zarqawi's "safe house." Gee, it wasn't so safe after all, huh, Z-Man? Hey, I'll even put the Quitclaim Deed in a little frame for you. It will be signed by FReeper Doug from Upland.
What you are bidding on is a little piece of paper memorabilia that commemorates this blessed event. Although insane Michael Berg, face-stretched Nancy Pelosi, screaming Howard Dean, Lifeguard Ted, police-beater Cynthia McKinney, hag Streisand, psychologically disturbed Alec Baldwin, the clueless Dixie Chicks (whose ticket announcement was recently booed at the Chris Daughtry homecoming concert in Greensboro), the ACLU, the NY TIMES, the WashPost, the major TV news networks, the rest of the drive-by media, and many of the other fifth columnists might be almost suicidal, it is a very good thing that this evil has left the earth. The terrorist, civilian mass murderer is now enjoying his promised reward. Unfortunately, all 72 of them look like Helen Thomas. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
DESCRIPTION OF PROPERTY IN WHICH I HOLD ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST:
Address: 225 East JDAM Blvd, Hibhib, Iraq
Estimated value: 1500 dinar (it would be worth $1,750,000,000,000 dinar in California)
Stories: was two, now zero
Sq Ft: was 2500, now zero
View: 360 degrees from any spot
Bedrooms: was four, now zero
Baths: was zero, still zero
Roof: pulverized fragments are two blocks away
Walls: non-existant
Ceilings: non-existant
Doors: non-existant
Windows: not double-pane; they are no-pane
Floor covering: are you kidding . . . there are no floors left
Basement: now a big hole
Heating/air conditioning: nope
Landscaping: sand and pieces of concrete
Neighborhood description: is improving, thanks to U.S. military
Additional comments: something very large recently fell on the home . . . open and airy . . . property is surrounded by lovely date palms . . . there still exists a noticeable smell of goat . . . lots of blood will need the Mr. Clean or Simple Green treatment . . . commuting distance to Baghdad . . . may become an Iraqi historical landmark . . . unconfirmed report that, during her visit a few years ago, Hillary actually flew over this house on Broomstick One
GODSPEED, U.S. MILITARY. YOU ARE IN OUR PRAYERS EVERY DAY.ATTENTION: Abu Ayyub al-Masri --- you're next, pal. By the time you see the flash, it is too late. May you soon rest in pieces.
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