Posted on 09/07/2005 10:06:07 AM PDT by IowaHawk
PENN UNVEILS PLAN FOR GIANT JAPANESE MECHA-CUPMAN
Decrying the federal government's response to the Hurricane Katrina disaster as "an utter disgrace," actor-activist Sean Penn today unveiled his design for a gigantic man-controlled robot suit that, if successful, could bail out the waterlogged city of New Orleans "within a matter of hours."
Penn said he struck upon the idea during a recent independent rescue operation, and quickly sketched out a design on the back of a film script he had been reading. Code named "Iyamasama," Penn's 900-foot tall mecha design features a 250,000 gallon red plastic kegger cup potentially capable of moving millions of gallons of contaminated water from the streets.
"Unlike the Bush war machine, this mecha will be solar-powered," noted Penn.
Penn said he had already dispatched several of his publicists to Tokyo to pass his design to top Japanese scientists.
CNN ANALYST PUSHES FOR SANDWICH DROP
In a blistering critique of the Bush Adminstration's management of the Katrina disaster, CNN analyst Jack Cafferty today repeated his call for emergency sandwiches.
"I tell you, I must have gotten 500-600 letters supporting my plan for Operation Sandwich Drop," he told CNN News Night host Wolf Blitzer. "I’m 62, I remember the riots in Watts, I remember the earthquake in San Francisco. And let's face it: they had plenty of sandwiches. I remember a lot of things. I have never, ever, seen anything as completely without sandwiches as this situation in New Orleans. Except maybe the CNN company picnic in '87. I mean, what was going on with that?"
SENATE DEMS: NOMINATION WOULD UPSET COURT BALANCE
Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) today warned the Bush Administration against nominating a replacement for late Supreme Court Chief Justice William Rehnquist, saying that any additional members would risk upsetting the court's current precarious 4-3 balance.
"If we were to approve John Roberts or any other radical nominee for the Court's so-called 'vacancies,' we risk undoing the progress we have achieved through 216 years of democracy and thyroid cancer," he said.
"Instead of contaminating the court with new and dangerous nominees, the adminstration needs to help us protect our nation's current fragile legal ecosystem," added Reid. "Many of our current old growth justices are endangered, and we call on the President to fund research to preserve them, and possibly reanimate their corpses when necessary."
FEMA HEAD WARNS PUBLIC OF POSSIBLE HURRICANE
Federal Emergency Management Adminstration Director Michael Brown today issued a warning to Gulf Coast residents to be on the lookout for Hurricane Katrina, a tropical storm that he said may reach landfall as early as last Sunday.
"I understand it may be large," said Brown. "We encourage residents to seek shelter for their families and their Arabian horses."
CNN ANALYST: SANDWICH DROP SHOULD INCLUDE EGG SALAD
In another withering on-air indictment of federal sandwich disaster response, CNN Analyst Jack Cafferty scorched the Bush adminstration for efforts that were "too little, too late, and with too goddammed few sandwiches."
"I am 62 years old," said Cafferty. "Instead of meandering around on his bicycle, why isn't Bush in New Orleans, making sandwiches for the big sandwich drop? I mean, where are the damned sandwiches, Mr. President? These people need sandwiches, not promises. And not just some stupid American cheese and white bread sandwiches, they need quality sandwiches like egg salad, and tuna, and not the kind that's cut down with gobs and gobs of Miracle Whip."
"I am 62 years old," he added.
COAST GUARD SEEKING LOST PENN ENTOURAGE
U.S. Coast Guard ships were reportedly fanning out across the Gulf Coast this afternoon seeking to locate several members of actor-activist Sean Penn's entourage. The group had reportedly set sail in a rowboat from New Orleans this morning, en route to Tokyo, to initiate robot planning talks with top Japanese scientists.
"Thus far, the Coast Guard response has been a utter disgrace," said Penn in an angry interview with Air America host Randi Rhodes.
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as always, hilarious....
Well, maybe not my BEST shot, but he should get the point:
Although I usually enjoy your reporting, I must say your Katrina coverage has been deplorable. Since I have been listening to you via sat-radio, I can’t see that it is indeed you that has actually been reporting. Have they switched you out with some lying, hysterical, ill-informed ingrate? Should I ask Governor Blanco to call out the National Guard? No wait… skip that… Should I email President Bush and have CNN declared in a state of Insurrection so we can get the National Guard there? Please let me know where you are located, Mr. Cafferty and I will see if I can get you some food and water dropped in case the Nogginless was the one that managed your lockdown in whatever closet CNN has locked you.
Sincerely,
A very concerned fan
Splendid.
At the suggestion of writer Michelle Malkin last Friday, I have cobbled together a blogsite called Texas Clearinghouse for Katrina Aid to serve as a clearinghouse for refugee efforts in Texas.
Texas is getting more refugees than any other state -- that's fine, we'll take them all -- but we need help providing them with food, clothing, and shelter.
If you are a refugee, you can information that will help you find relief. If you want to donate or volunteer, you can find someone who needs you.
Right now the site mostly covers Houston and Dallas but I will add various churches, schools, and other charities in San Antonio and Ft. Worth tonight. My wife is down at Reunion Arena in Dallas as we speak handing out care packages and otherwise ministering to the refugees as a representative of her employer.
There are a lot of churches and other organizations in Texas that need help in dealing with the problem and I would be most appreciative if you would get the word out.
Many thanks,
Michael McCullough
Stingray blogsite
"We in the looting community..."
Brilliantly, wickedly funny, as always.
To symbolize MechAID's outreach to needy citizens of New Orleans, Las Vegas superstar entertainer Dion said that she and hundreds of celebrities would fan out through the streets, wading though the floodwaters with live electric lines, to bring relief to stranded residents until Mecha-Cupman arrives.
"It will be, how you say, a grande finale," said Dion.
Great stuff here. LOL!
Escellent, and it is likely your first and "LAST" email the the Cafferty idiot. :)
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