When do we get to see Judge Roberts' forged "secret memos"?

America is suffering from a bunch of P.E.S.T.'s. Victims of Post Election Selection Trauma, or more commonly know as crazy liberals who have decided to hate democracy because George Bush beat them twice. Shortly after the November election, the American Health Association identified this affliction in Boca Raton, Florida, with some of its symptoms being: "feelings of withdrawal, feelings of isolation, loss of appetite, sleeplessness, nightmares, and pervasive moodiness, including endless sulking."

How Rob Gordon, Executive Director of the AHA, was able to differentiate these symptoms from the normal behavior of most liberals I have no clue, but none the less, it is a serious threat. "You don't want an epidemic of suicides," Gordon warned. True, suicide is a terrible tragedy that should be prevented at all costs, even if the people doing it are knuckle biting, surrender monkeys.

However, Rob Gordon was wrong on two points. The first is Gordon felt the P.E.S.T's would soon fade away "as the troubled Kerry supporters adjust to reality." Mr. Gordon sounds like a good man, but he must live a very sheltered life, liberals' inability to "adjust to reality" is congenital. And second, he should have added "compulsively writing fake government documents" into his list of symptoms.

The P.E.S.T. epidemic has spread throughout America, the mainstream media, and even as far as our nation's capitol. Recently, Senator John Kerry, reported carrier of the disease, came to the Senate floor and demanded the Bush Administration release all documents relevant to Judge John Roberts from his stint in the White House Counsel's Office, from 1982 to 1986, and as Principle Deputy Solicitor General under President Bush 41.

Kerry, apparently oblivious to the irony of his own refusal to release relevant records of his background when he sought the office of President, said, "We cannot do our duty if either Judge Roberts or the Bush Administration hides elements of his professional record."

Most of the records in question are stored at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and are not organized by name, but chronological date. So any search for Judge Robert's records will be slow, tedious, and the likelihood of documents being missed very high due to human error and the huge volume of documents to review.

So now the stage is set for the "exclusive report" by the left wing media of "secret memos withheld by the Bush Administration" that, curiously enough, just happen to vindicate everything negative they have concocted to say about Judge Roberts.

Liberal word processors are probably humming right now creating horrific stories of Judge Roberts recommending cutting the heat off to orphanages and advocating the killing of kittens and selling the meat to school lunch programs.

In honor of the left's penchant for portraying myth as reality, I have taken the liberty of creating a fake memo of my own. This "secret memo" was uncovered by an unnamed source and I accidentally threw the original away with a pizza box after I retyped it, but it read:

Hi Bill,
This is your neighbor, Supreme Court Nominee John Roberts. Just a quick note to thank you for adjusting your lawn mower blades so your grass is even with mine.
Thanks,
John Roberts (Closet Fascist.)
P.S. I can't wait to get on the Supreme Court and ban abortion! HA! HA! HA!"

It is almost a question of not if a forged secret memo about Judge Roberts shows up, but when. This would be the third time in the last year liberals have tried this tactic, and who knows? Maybe the third time is the charm and they will actually make it somewhat believable this time.

The first, and most infamous forged memo scandal is CBS's "Memogate." These documents where amateur at best, and we will never look at "th" in Microsoft Word the same ever again. The second, the "Downing Street Memos," seemed to be of a bit higher quality and where developing some political legs until it was discovered that Michael Smith, "Times of London" reporter and source of the story, had allegedly retyped the memos from the originals and thrown them away in an effort to protect his source.

Sure, a professional reporter from a major newspaper saw no need to save documentation on an exclusive story with international implications, no problem. And, the only way to protect a source is to retype a memo? I have not been in England for a few years, but I am fairly certain I saw both copy machines and white out widely available in London.

Maybe the liberals are learning from their mistakes and the third in the series of forged documentation will be the best yet. If they were smart, they would just stick to their old tried and true methods using baseless personal attacks and character assassination to attack people rather than something as ridiculous as these memos. The only thing that is certain is if someone actually makes these forged memos, there will be legions of P.E.S.T's ready to believe them.

Justin Darr is a veteran retail manager from the Philadelphia area where he lives with this wife, Erin, twin children Brandon and Brittany, three mice, two cats, and a spoiled dog named Xena. He grew up in rural Western Pennsylvania were he learned the values of hard work, honesty, family, and the downfalls of Liberalism.

Justin is an expert in political philosophy, western world history, and the development of American society. He has worked on various political campaigns at all levels, served as an election official to verify ballot counts, and is a well know "aggressive debater" to all that know him. He is also a fountain of relatively useless knowledge due to years of University study.

The views expressed by RenewAmerica columnists are their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Alan Keyes, RenewAmerica, or its affiliates.

http://news.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2004/09/19/wniger19.xml

Here's yet another left-wing document forgery:

Agent behind fake uranium documents worked for France
By Bruce Johnston in Rome
(Filed: 19/09/2004)

The Italian businessman at the centre of a furious row between France and Italy over whose intelligence service was to blame for bogus documents suggesting Saddam Hussein was seeking to buy material for nuclear bombs has admitted that he was in the pay of France.

The man, identified by an Italian news agency as Rocco Martino, was the subject of a Telegraph article earlier this month in which he was referred to by his intelligence codename, "Giacomo".

His admission to investigating magistrates in Rome on Friday apparently confirms suggestions that - by commissioning "Giacomo" to procure and circulate documents - France was responsible for some of the information later used by Britain and the United States to promote the case for war with Iraq.

Italian diplomats have claimed that, by disseminating bogus documents stating that Iraq was trying to buy low-grade "yellowcake" uranium from Niger, France was trying to "set up" Britain and America in the hope that when the mistake was revealed it would undermine the case for war, which it wanted to prevent.

Italian judicial officials confirmed yesterday that Mr Martino had previously been sought for questioning by Rome. Investigating magistrates in the city have opened an inquiry into claims he made previously in the international press that Italy's secret services had been behind the dissemination of false documents, to bolster the US case for war.

According to Ansa, the Italian news agency, which said privately that it had obtained its information from "judicial and other sources", Mr Martino was questioned by an investigating magistrate, Franco Ionta, for two hours. Ansa said Mr Martino told the magistrate that Italy's military intelligence, Sismi, had no role in the procuring or dissemination of the Niger documents.

He was also said to have claimed that he had obtained the documents from an employee at the Niger embassy in Rome, before passing these to French intelligence, on whose payroll he had been since at least 2000.

However, he reportedly also added that he had believed that the documents in question were genuine, and to have never suspected that they had been forged. "Martino has clarified his position and offered to deliver to the magistrates the documents which confirm his declarations," his lawyer, Giuseppe Placidi, told Ansa.

It was not possible to contact Mr Martino through his lawyer yesterday. Contacted by The Telegraph, Mr Ionta politely declined to comment, but did not deny that the questioning had taken place. The Interior Ministry in Rome, which had also expressed keen interest in the Telegraph article, refused to comment on the matter.

Mr Martino is said by diplomats to have come forward of his own accord and contacted authorities in the Italian capital following the earlier article in the Telegraph. They said he had written a letter of resignation to the French DGSE intelligence service last week.

According to an Italian newspaper report yesterday, members of the Digos, Italy's anti-terrorist police, removed documents from Mr Martino's home in a northern suburb of Rome on Friday afternoon.

"After being exposed in the international press, French intelligence can hardly be amused or happy with him," one western diplomat said. "Martino may have thought the safest thing was to hand himself over to the Italians." Investigators in Rome suspect that Mr Martino was first engaged by the French secret services five years ago, when he was asked to investigate rumours of illicit trafficking in uranium from Niger. He is thought to have then been retained the following year to collect more information. It was then that he is suspected of having assembled a dossier containing both real and bogus documents from Niger, the latter apparently forged by a diplomat.

In September 2002 Tony Blair accused Saddam of seeking "significant quantities" of uranium from an undisclosed African country - in fact, Niger. US President George W Bush made a similar claim in his State of the Union address to Congress four months later, using information supplied by MI6.

The International Atomic Energy Agency expressed doubts over some of the documents' authenticity, however, and declared them false in March 2003.

In July, the White House withdrew the president's claim, admitting that it was based on inaccurate information. British officials still say that their intelligence about Iraqi uranium purchases was supported by a second, independent source.

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.