Posted on 07/06/2005 10:48:04 AM PDT by canadianally
Summary - (Jul 6, 2005) Scientists at the University of Maryland think that large quantities of artificial meat could be produced to supply the world with animal-free meat products, like chickenless nuggets. This is based on experiments for NASA, that created small amounts of muscle fibre cultured from single cells. According to the researchers, larger quantities could be grown in thin sheets and then stacked up to create thickness. Of course, they need to figure out a way to exercise it to make it taste like regular meat
Not so fast there. The availability of artificial meat would undercut the rationale behind their religion.
Makes me wonder whether Hindu's would find it okay. Perplexing it is.
Gack! Not in my kitchen!!
All I keep thinking about is Soylent Green.
ME, TOO! There will be so many chemicals in this "I can't believe it's not meat" to make it taste like something it isn't, that people will be dropping like flies from toxic poisoning!
Because it's a lot cheaper.
I expect that in my lifetime (I'm 40) the idea of eating meat from a living animal will come to be seen as repugnant and backward Third World practice. That won't comfort those of us who like real meat, but I can see it coming.
However, this "advance" may be useful for long-term space flight/exploration or any other novel uses. And, yes, it would actually be meat, depending on the original cells used it could be chicken, beef, emu.... Sure can lead to some funny jokes though...
(Scene: The interior of a lifeboat. Seagulls are crying.)
Sailor #1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: That's a rather personal question, sir?
Sailor #1: (low voice)You stupid git. I meant how long has it been in the lifeboat? You've destroyed the atmosphere now.
Sailor #2: I'm sorry.
Sailor #1: Shut up. Start again.
Sailor #1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: 33 days, sir.
Sailor #1: Thirty-three days?
Sailor #2: We can't go on much longer. (low voices) I didn't think I destroyed the atmosphere.
Sailor #1: Shut up.
Sailor #2: Well, I don't think I did.
Sailor #1: 'Course you did.
Sailor #2: (aside, to 3) Did you think I destroyed the atmosphere?
Sailor #3: Yes I think you did.
Sailor #1: Shut up. Shut up!
Sailor #1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: 33 days, sir.
Sailor #4: Have we started again? (slap)
Sailor #1: STILL no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: 33 days, sir. Sailor #1: Thirty-three days?
Sailor #2: We can't go on much longer, sir. We haven't eaten since the fifth day.
Sailor #5: We're done for, we're done for!
Sailor #1: Shut up, Morley.
Sailor #2: We've just got to keep hoping. Someone may find us.
Sailor #4: How we feeling, Captain?
Sailor #5: Not too good. I...I feel so weak.
Sailor #2: We can't hold out much longer.
Sailor #5: Listen...chaps...there's still a chance. I'm...done for, I've...got a gamy leg and I'm going fast; I'll never get through. But...some of you might. So...you'd better eat me.
Sailor #1: Eat you, sir?
Sailor #5: Yes. Eat me.
Sailor #2: Iiuuhh! With a gamy leg?
Sailor #5: You didn't eat the leg, Thompson. There's still plenty of good meat. Look at that arm.
Sailor #3: It's not just the leg, sir.
Sailor #5: What do you mean?
Sailor #5: Well, sir...it's just that -
Sailor #5: Why don't you want to eat me?
Sailor #3: I'd rather eat Johnson, sir! (points to sailor #4)
Sailor #2: So would I, sir.
Sailor #5: I see.
Sailor #4: Well that's settled then...everyone's gonna eat me!
Sailor #1: Uh, well.
Sailor #5: What, sir?
Sailor #1:: No, no you go ahead, please, I won't.......
Sailor #4: Oh nonsense, sir, you're starving; ducking.
Sailor #1: No, no, it's not that.
Sailor #2: What's the matter with Johnson, sir?
Sailor #1: Well, he's not kosher.
Sailor #3: That depends how we kill him, sir.
Sailor #1: Yes, that's true. But to be perfectly frank I...I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges.
Sailor #2: Oh well, all right.
Sailor #5: I still prefer Johnson.
Sailor #5: I wish you'd all stop bickering and eat me.
Sailor #2: Look. I tell you what. Those who want to can eat Johnson. And you, sir, can have my leg. And we make some stock from the Captain, and then we'll have Johnson cold for supper.
Sailor #1: Good thinking, Hodges.
Sailor #4: And we'll finish off with the peaches. (picks up a tin of peaches)
Sailor #3: And we can start off with the avocados. (picks up two avocados) Sailor #1: Waitress! (a waitress walks in) We've decided now, we're going to have leg of Hodges...
(Boos off-screen. Cut to a letter.)
Voice Over: Dear Sir, I am glad to hear that your studio audience disapproves of the last skit as strongly as I. As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs? Yours etc. Captain B.J. Smethwick in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.
I don't eat nuggets that don't have chicken in them.
But.. somehow....my mouth doesn't water when I think of artificial meat.
Will steakhouses be placing bottles of saliva substitute on their tables, along with the Hunt's ketchup and the steak sauce?
I'm sure some advertising companies will make lots of money promoting the MEAAT and the saliva sauce.
mmmm...Meat Roll-ups. Along with a slice of Cheese Product and canned lettuce, this could be the next great sub. We'll call it the Jimmy Carter Sub.
Soybeef?
Not only that McDonalds hold the patent on Chickenless Meat Nuggets too.
No.
Fifty years from now, meat that actually came from real animals will be like organic fruit and vegetables.
Not only that McDonalds hold the patent on Chickenless Meat Nuggets too.
Pardon my stutter.
I work with mouse muscle cells. I have often wondered if this would be possible. It would be nice to have guilt free meat.
What's the big deal? It's still animal muscle tissue.
Fumble fingers sorry. Will try to type slower and check for mistakes.
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