Posted on 06/03/2005 6:34:39 PM PDT by blam
The people I knew in college and elsewhere who went into counseling usually had two things in common:
1) A fear of *real* math, and
2) Their own lives were screwed up.
LOL. Been there, done that and have the tee shirt. When I was in grad school, I dated a lady who was in the guidance and counseling master program. I shortly concluded, like you, that she and her classmates were the most screwed up folks I'd ever met. All of them were there to learn how to fix themselves. Most of them failed at this.
The truth is that people need to talk over this emotional moment with someone (it could be Joe the bartender, Mary the librarian, or Bob the car mechanic). This specialized business with university trained psychologists...is a joke. But it does help pay their bills and put them in front of the camera. The question here to ask...is how did we survive all of these thousands of years...without special grief counseling? Think about that.
Like many others, I'm sure, you have my deepest sympathy. I don't know if you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, but I pray you do. I think you should be able to find strength and support for some church groups depending upon where you live. You and your family shall be in my prayers for God's healing love and strength to be with you.
I just wanted to give you some Hugs. I'm glad you and your other daughter spent yesterday together. God Bless You.
LOL.
A profound rhetorical question. It's own my way of facing life, which..like a rose...also has thorns.
Does anyone have any wisdom on how to cope with the hell that is my life now?
Haven't lost a child, but lost my wife 6 months ago. All I can tell you is to put your faith in God, and keep yourself busy. Don't allow time to sit around and feel sorry for yourself.
The pain will ease with time, although there won't be a day go by that you don't think of your loss. And that's as it should be. But try to dwell on and celebrate the good memories. Try to remember the happy things, the silly things you could laugh about. And don't be afraid to laugh out loud when recalling them.
Hope this helps a little,
Doug
(Denny Crane: "Sometimes you can only look for answers from God and failing that... and Fox News".)
The culture of victim hood is so much more fun when you're a selfish brat.
Here's the thing about grief counseling that strikes me as counter-productive: it encourages you to dwell on your suffering. Instead of learning to let go and move on, you spend all of your time obsessing over your loss. When you get a physical wound, constantly poking it with a stick doesn't make it heal faster.
That's why religion is often an extremely effective mechanism to deal with grief; it gives you something else in your life to focus on so that you can recover.
Yes. Part of the "theraputic society" and the permanent state of "victimhood". The huge "caring profession" industry doesn't want anyone to think that they can deal with anything without their payed for help.
When my parents died she came to stay a number of times for the funerals, etc. She was certainly a lot more pleasant to be around than a lot of other people and I got to know and appreciate her much more after this. She didn't really "counsel" anyone in terms of telling them what to think, but I could see that someone who has witnessed te grief process many times and understands it from personal experience is in a position to be helpful to grieving families.
When you know someone who has lost a close relative, there is not much you can say that will make them feel better. But there are some practical things that are very helpful. I think one of the best ideas is to bring food. People who are grieving do not want or need to be shopping or cooking. This way you help them out without getting in their face.
And why tell a stranger your dark secrets - you don't even tell them to your friends!
Sigmund has, like passive smoking and global warming, been discredited.
EEEE, well, at least one of us is using it as a alternative entrance into subverting the current system of letting dangerous prisoners out of prison. And I'm pretty dang good at math.
Saw your post, and I'm sorry.
If your child was a victim of violent crime, there are organizations that provide some support. There are other parent groups, such as "Compassionate Friends." They don't provide counselling, but they do have other parents in your situation--they've lost children (of all ages) as well.
Aside from that, Ma'am, my understanding is that religious counselling has the best results--but the pain will never go away. My heart aches for you. I hope you find some rest and comfort.
I'm so sorry to hear that. I lost my son back in Nov, and it IS hell. For one, don't listen to anyone here. I found a support group, and despite what everyone here believes, it has REALLY helped me.
I cannot believe that some here comparing losing a human being comparable to losing a dog or stubbing a toe.
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