Posted on 05/20/2005 8:24:33 PM PDT by buckeyesrule
Trouble in paradise? Call in Dr. Phil
By Khalid Moss
Dayton Daily News
And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. Genesis 2:7
And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. Gen. 2:22
I didn't attend A Weekend to Remember, the two-day marriage seminar at Fairhaven Church sponsored by Campus Crusade for Christ.
But the faith-based, marital-enrichment seminar got me to thinking: What if biblical Adam and Eve had been able to sit down with Dr. Phil?
Farfetched?
Sure.
But picture Adam, Eve and Dr. Phil seated in a little grass shanty at the dawn of civilization:
Dr. Phil: Adam, are you angry because Eve took a bite of that apple?
Adam: I was perfectly happy eating bananas.
Dr. Phil: Eve, what's driving a wedge into your relationship?
Eve: Adam doesn't share his feelings. He just clams up and buries his head in the papyrus.
Dr. Phil: Money problems are a primary source of marital strife. Adam, do you and Eve ever argue over money?
Adam: What is money?
Dr. Phil: Oh, that's right. Money hasn't been invented yet. What about children? Do you have kids?
Eve: Yes, we have two wonderful boys. They get along great. Cain is a farmer and Abel watches over the sheep. Oh, they have their little spats, like the time Abel, our youngest, got lost in the firmament and Cain wouldn't help look for him. Cain kept mumbling something about, "Yo. I ain't my brother's keeper, you know?" But we got through it. The real problem was when we had to move . . .
Adam: Got kicked out.
Eve (staring at Adam): As I was saying, when we had to move from the Garden to this mosquito-infested bog.
Adam: We'd still be in the Garden of Eden if you hadn't . . .
Eve: If I hadn't what? Are you afraid to say it?
At this point, Dr. Phil turns to the camera and drawls, "One of the biggest challenges for most couples is learning how to stop blaming each other so that they can work through the troubled times without the power struggles. It's obvious there are some real problems here. Eve admits that she picks on her husband every chance she gets, from plucking his stray hairs to criticizing what he wears. Adam says his bags are packed because he can't take his wife's criticism anymore."
Adam: I feel like I'm going to explode. Every time she says something critical to me, it hurts. Why did the Lord even take my rib if she's going to be constantly nagging or picking at me, or thinking I can't do anything right?
Dr. Phil: Adam and Eve, are you here to defend this situation or to change it?"
Both: Change it.
Dr. Phil: Then, tell me, Eve. What does Adam do right?
Eve (wiping a tear from her eye): He's a great dad. He loves his kids. He's a wonderful husband. He loves me. He can grill.
Dr. Phil: That's a start.
And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting. And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. Acts 2:2-4
Contact Khalid Moss at 225-2167.
This thread is lacking on so many levels, where does one begin?
A little "grass shanty"? I think not. Before the fall, they truly lived in paradise.
"apple"? The Bible describes it as a "fruit."
The applied cultural arguments are not amusing or very clever.
It is important to note that when Eve took a bite of the fruit, Adam was standing right next to her. He was there the entire time the serpent tempted Eve. Why didn't Adam step in? Because he was just as guilty as his wife in wanting their eyes opened.
Acts 2:2-4?! What does that have to do with Adam and Eve, and Dr. Phil?!
THe shanty scene would have been post-fall
Thank you for that observation. Nonetheless, I don't believe they lived in anything like a shanty, although they certainly had to labor in order to survive after the fall.
How about here:
"I didn't attend A Weekend to Remember, the two-day marriage seminar at Fairhaven Church sponsored by Campus Crusade for Christ." BY Khalid Moss
Good grief. Why can't you just relax and enjoy a cute article. I'll bet you never have any fun at all.
Well, I could start having a whole lot of fun beginning with your post.
It would appear that you may be in need of a little R&R. My post was an observation to a thread that lacked any sense, IMHO.
For a Christian, you seem to lack interest in Biblical accuracy. Not that people shouldn't make jokes involving Biblical history, but in order for it to be funny some of the truths must remain accurate.
For example, instead of Dr. Phil counseling Adam and Eve on communication, why not say, (Eve)"You know, Doc, the way in which my husband dresses drives me up a tree. You'd think that with ALL! this vegetation he'd pick another leaf once in a while, but NOooooo, he's got to wear the same dang leaf over, and over, and over again until the darn thing is practically falling apart.....literally." Now, that would be accurate AND funny.
LOL. As I said, so many levels. :^)
THAT'S IT! I'm starting a riot! Who's with me?!
And I'm Jewish!
,(:>)
Even funnier! :^D
LOL!
BTW,is the D for a bigger grin or a beard?
Count me in (let me finish flushing...)
The "D" is a hearty LOL.
Back to you!
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