Posted on 05/06/2005 8:08:10 PM PDT by Mr. Silverback
Note: This commentary was delivered by Prison Fellowship President Mark Earley.
One of the most devastating things any parent can hear is that their child probably will not survive past birth. But that’s the news Susan and Saqib Ali received when they were expecting their first child. Their unborn daughter, Leila, was diagnosed with a brain condition called holoprosencephaly, or HPE. Most children with this condition die in the womb; those who survive birth usually die before they reach six months. And the condition causes severe physical and mental problems. According to the Washington Post Magazine, the number of HPE patients who live to adulthood “is so tiny that researchers don’t even track it.”
And as if that weren’t bad enough, some doctors believed the pregnancy could even endanger Susan’s health.
The Post chronicled Susan and Saqib’s agonizing decision-making process in detail. From the beginning, Susan was determined to carry Leila to term, no matter her chances. “I always felt that Leila was a real person and she deserved as much chance at life as anybody else does,” Susan now says. “I understand how her care would have been extremely daunting, but she would have been worth it.”
But Saqib was afraid for his wife’s life and overwhelmed by the seriousness of Leila’s handicaps. In his mind, the decision they had to make was “like choosing whether to put a gun to Leila’s head or a gun to both of [their] heads.” He begged Susan again and again to end the pregnancy.
But Susan wouldn’t give in. She told a reporter, “Saqib thinks I am purposely putting my head in the sand. . . . But all I am thinking is: ‘My baby is sick. My baby is sick.’” Even when her pastor told her that abortion would be justified under the circumstances, Susan would not back down.
What the Alis went through is a sad commentary on what an abortion-on-demand culture has done to our society and our relationships. Although he eventually agreed with Susan’s wishes, Saqib Ali felt that the whole experience was “disempowering” for him, because his wife insisted on making a decision that would change both their lives, a decision that might have even put her own life at risk. But Susan was focused on her child, saying, “She doesn’t have a voice. I have to be the voice for her.”
Tragically, Leila lived only an hour or so after birth. Her mother and father gave her all the love they could during that brief time. They still cherish those memories. That experience is typical, according to HPE researcher Nancy Clegg, who says, “I have never had a parent tell me they regretted seeing their sick baby, holding her, telling her how much they love her and want to be with her.”
Saqib Ali has said that he doesn’t want his daughter’s life used as “a political football,” and I certainly respect that. That’s not what I’m trying to do. But I do want to honor the courage of Susan Ali and her commitment to letting her daughter live. In a world that increasingly treats human beings as disposable, she helped us see once again the value of even the weakest life.
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And we find it remarkable that a Mother considers her unborn, alive child in the womb to be a human being worthy of every chance she can give. What does it say of our coarsening society, eh? My Mother was raped and I was conceived, yet she considered me a human being from the moment she learned of the pregnancy ... and she is saintly in my eyes, but not remarkable for her generation. [She's having her 88th birthday this June and she would pummel me with her walking staff if she knew I was telling this ...]
I respect this mom, this is a good mother's day post.
I remember, years ago, when my daughter was just a couple of weeks old, and it was not an easy time for me, wondering how would I feel if after all I'd gone through, my child were to die. And I felt in my heart a big feeling, that I'd be SO greatful for every day I'd had her.
You've got to strive for G-d and for the life that He graces us with, every day in every way.
Anyone else notice the irony?
Thinking of our own geneology, few of us really know of the courage of our ancestors who may have been raped or pregnant during some terrible conditions. May God bless their souls.
Agreed.
Glad you made it.
Yeah, me too!
I guess it's a timing thingy ... twenty years later and I might not have as the culture of death was rising in a feminst tide that has swept so many lives away. My Mother was/is the true type of strong woman/feminist, in the good sense.
God doesn't tell us his plans. I believe that He will let us in on it some day.
Wow... God bless you, M.
Glad you made it MHGinTN!
Years ago an in-law of mine was pregnant when the doctors discovered she had cancer, possibly uterine or ovarian, I don't recall. Anyway, they told her that if they immediately aborted the baby and treated her for the cancer she had an excellent chance of surviving but if she carried the baby to term she would have no chance. She chose to have the baby and died shortly after the baby was born. That baby is in her 50's now. What a choice! :-(
"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friend" (John 15:13). Or woman.
Senator Rick Santorum and his wife went through a similar experience except he did not feel "disempowered" and urge her to abort their son Gabriel, who lived for two hours after his birth. She has written a book about their son and his short life.
I would not expect the MSM to ever highlight this aspect of the Senator's character and life experience.
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