Well, you get the idea.
Posted on 02/28/2005 8:10:01 PM PST by Dan from Michigan
Nude Man Covered in Cheese Gets Probation
39 minutes ago Strange News - AP
MARYVILLE, Tenn. - A man caught by police last summer on his 23rd birthday running naked and covered in nacho cheese pleaded guilty Monday to burglary and four other charges.
Michael David Monn of Maryville appeared before Blount County Circuit Court Judge D. Kelly Thomas and pleaded guilty to burglary, theft, vandalism, indecent exposure and public intoxication. In a plea bargain with prosecutors, Monn was sentenced to three years in prison but was given supervised probation.
He also was given a judicial deferral, which means if he stays out of trouble for the next three years the charges will be expunged from his record. Thomas warned Monn that if he violates the sentencing requirements, he must serve the sentence in a state penitentiary.
Early on the morning of July 18, 2004, Monn "was highly intoxicated, broke into the John Sevier Pool snack bar area, stole some snacks and did some damage and was caught naked with some stolen snacks," Blount County District Attorney General Mike Gallegos told the courtroom.
A police officer found Monn that morning in the parking lot of the pool facility after Monn had apparently scaled an 8-foot-tall fence and was seen running toward a Jeep with a box of stolen snacks and a container of nacho cheese.
In addition to being naked, Monn had nacho cheese in his hair, on his face and on his shoulders, police said. He also had a strong odor of alcohol and was semi-incoherent.
In his Jeep, Maryville officers found clothing and an open bottle of vodka.
Hey that's nacho cheese, it's MINE!
Is there a moose involved in this somewhere?
I guess that's good.
Bring on the moose jokes!
After where it's been, you can have it.
No pictures?! Whats wrong with you? Dont you want to see a naked man covered in nacho cheese? Who wouldnt?
ok, that was disgusting
Excuse me sir, your jalapeno is showing.
Some people really need to stay away from the fire water.
Dan, you are on a roll with these stories tonight. Throwing bicycles and cheese streaking.
He also had a strong odor of alcohol and was semi-incoherent.
Of Course....
Cue Amy Rigby: "what was I thinking?"
Then there was probably no cheese covered stuned beeber either, was there?
And everyone knows Vodka and nacho cheese are not ever to be ingested together.
I guess a claim of being a Green Bay Packers fan wouldn't have helped him in Tennessee.
There's hair in my cheese.
this is hilarious. My husband's brother works in Maryville; I wonder if he's heard about this.
Cheese Dog? Ah, no thanks.
"If you wanna turn your daddy parts orange...
"Eat some nachos, and watch some porn."
He's a Nacho Nacho Man....
ISHL
Well, you get the idea.
Who moved my cheese?
So what was his FR nick?
I hope the cheese wasn't swiss...
Boy oh boy, I was on pins and needles wondering how it was gonna turn out.... 
Human Fondue?
I'll bet he was a little chili.
I think he was really trying to attract Phat Phil Fulmer with the cheese...
Here's a similar story from our local paper...
Posted on Thu, Feb. 24, 2005
Lenexa police aren't buying naked man's story
By RICHARD ESPINOZA
The Kansas City Star
A Kansas City man is in jail this morning after Lenexa police said they arrested him driving nude and covered in corn oil.
The 50-year-old man was booked into the Johnson County jail Wednesday after a woman said he was walking outside his van nude.
He does not resemble the man who police believe has exposed himself seven times in Overland Park since December.
A woman told Lenexa police that she saw the 50-year-old man walking nude around the front of a van that was parked in the 8800 block of Loiret Boulevard about 10:30 a.m. Wednesday. She called police, who stopped a van that matched the description on Interstate 435.
The officer found the man behind the wheel with no clothes on, glistening in corn oil. The man allegedly told police that he was changing clothes. He was covered in the oil — a bottle of which he was carrying in the van — because he works with fiberglass, he allegedly told police.
“Nothing he said made any sense,” said Lenexa Police Sgt. Tom Hongslo.
The man is at least seven inches taller, at least 30 pounds heavier, and a different race than the flasher who is being sought in Overland Park.
.
LOL, I went to high school with this guy. He was in my AFJROTC class. XD
and
"...'Nothing he said made any sense,' said Lenexa Police Sgt. Tom Hongslo."
Boy howdy he didn't make any sense. Everyone knows that corn oil is so very 70s and is not good for your cholesterol. He should have at the very least been using a canola oil blend!
"And everyone knows Vodka and nacho cheese are not ever to be ingested together."
I learned that as a Freshman, but unfortuantely the hard way. Had to throw away that garbage can.
I guess he wasn't wearing enough cheese to not be considered 'nude'..
(OK, no more lame Bobbit jokes)
Cheesus, that story made me blue, he cheddar get some help. Is he from Monterey, Jack?
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was me during my fraternity daze
Behold the power of cheese.
When burgling, it's best to do it naked and camouflaged in cheese, and with alcohol in the mouth to throw off possible mouth swabbing DNA identification.
Clothing and the booze bottle can only help the police ID you, in that your friends or family might know your clothing, and your fingerprints would be all over the vodka bottle. They are best left in the car.
This perp was SLICK.
LOL! Both of these stories are hilarious.
I was just about to go to bed, so if I dream about these guys, I may have to hunt you down.... :-)
ROFL, thanks for the warning! I'll leave out a bottle of Wesson oil, some popcorn, a pan to cook it in and some Cheese Whiz.
In my best Jaime Pressly voice: My Auwtlaw!
Probation?!?!? He should have received a National Endowment for the Arts Grant!!
No, Miss Pressly, that's not a Gorgonzola in my pocket. :^)
Now I can't concentrate on work! Darn you! :^)
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