Stray Dogs Deserve Back Rubs

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 1/14/5 | Mark Morford

[SmithL]

We kill millions of pets every year
Who cares if a few get posh shelters and humane laws?

OK. So I tend to think people who insist on calling themselves pet "guardians" instead of "owners" are exasperating and a bit wrongheaded, and that such uber-PC thinking does almost nothing to change or improve the behavior of the thousands of animal abusers in this country.

And I tend to agree with fabulous dog writer Jon Katz that such semantic sidestepping does more harm to the animals than good, and leads to naive treatment, lack of decent training and an outright ignorance of the creature's very cool dogness.

What about all those new ultra-posh pet boutiques and the concomitant trend toward the wild overpampering of our "companion" animals? Silly if not outright depressing, really, given how we appear to be projecting ourselves, our desires and habits and need for intimate TLC, onto an animal that really couldn't care less.

Further, I think the shift toward treating dogs and cats as full-blown family members, as surrogate kids or surrogate mates or surrogate babies, is even worse, as we are loading up our animals with far too much emotional liability and psychological complexity, granting a completely unique species an impossible array of human traits and emotional responses they don't have or need or understand, which then only causes stress and resentment and chewed shoes and deeper personal depression as you, the "guardian," slowly realize the dog can't have meaningful sex with you or take you to dinner or help decorate the Christmas tree or talk to you calmly about just what the hell is going on with your hair.

[SmithL]

MORFORDITE ALERT!
You've been warned.

And he doesn't attack the president until something like the eigth paragraph.

[brownsfan]

...fabulous dog writer Jon Katz...

Is that a joke?

[anniegetyourgun]

Isn't life amusing?

[camle]

"very cool dogness"???

WTF?

[Publius6961]

Well... on the positive side, this is a refreshing change of pace from the article about a neighbor knocking a dog's teeth out with a shovel, to the other extreme.

There is a nugget of reality here in the role pets play in our lives, the great unwashed middle who are simply grateful to share an amusing life, which usually is simply an animated and primitively thinking teddy bear, no more and no less.

[handy old one]

Are there more homeless people or homeless pets? Who gets treated better?

[mhking]

She loves dogs, eh?

Just damn.

If you want on the list, FReepmail me. This IS a high-volume PING list...

[Puppage]

the thousands of animal abusers in this country

[Still Thinking]

...slowly realize the dog can't have meaningful sex with you...

Sounds like there's a whole lot about this guy's relationship with his pets I don't need to know about. < /gag >

[Publius6961]

Are there more homeless people or homeless pets? Who gets treated better?

I haven't heard of 5 million homeless being euthanized yearly. Does that answer the question? I offer no further thoughts on the comparison.

[handy old one]

My point !

[crushelits]

A BACKRUB LIKE THIS?

[pissant]

Yep. Rub them pooches good. Tenderises 'em for the BBQ.

[Slings and Arrows]

With friends like this...

For those of you who have never read Morford, this is probably the sanest and most coherent thing he's ever written*. You've been warned.

[*Those who have read Morford before interpret this to mean he ran out of herbal inspiration before finishing his column.]

---
Kitty Ping List alert!

[Freepmail me to get on or off the Kitty Ping List.]

[ravingnutter]

My dogs prefer a butt scratch {clarification: above the tail} to a back rub any day : )

[presidio9]

She's up her dosage as the Inauguration looms.

[Sender]

LOL, it sounds like the dog didn't call and didn't write...you know, after...

[Still Thinking]

Yeah, you know how it is, the dog just gives love to get sex...

[presidio9]

Coincidently, Morford prefers those who pay more physical attention to her butt.