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Hummer Owners Fuel Rage in Others
Motor Trend ^ | 12/30/04 | The Denver Post

Posted on 12/31/2004 8:11:07 PM PST by wagglebee

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To: wagglebee

The people who are complaining about Hummers are actually upset because the things scare their poor SUV's. Also, when one passes them, people can't see around it to read their environmentalist bumper stickers.


21 posted on 12/31/2004 8:35:36 PM PST by WestVirginiaRebel ("Nature abhors a moron."-H.L. Mencken)
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To: wagglebee

Like most other Hummer drivers, Breggin is the target of clenched fists, single-fingered salvos and screamed epithets from the greener-than-thou crowd.

It would be great fun to corral a bunch of enronazis in a theater to watch endless take-offs and landings of private jets. I wonder what amount of heat John Travolta has received for his two commercial-sized jets he flies?

22 posted on 12/31/2004 8:35:46 PM PST by Zon (Honesty outlives the lie, spin and deception -- It always has -- It always will.)
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To: Paleo Conservative
Didn't Arianna Huffington drive her husband to homosexuality?

He was bi before he met Arianna. I've heard he was really a strange person to work for. Supposedly he banned coffee at his dad's oil and gas exploration company, because he was afraid that they would spill it and stain the carpets.

So...he was a driller, but not a spiller?

23 posted on 12/31/2004 8:37:02 PM PST by snarks_when_bored
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To: wagglebee
Can you say "status envy" boys and girls?

The only people I can't stand are Volvo drivers.

24 posted on 12/31/2004 8:37:42 PM PST by Clemenza (President: Liger Breeders of the Pacific Northwest)
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To: snarks_when_bored

Or...maybe he could take the drilling, but didn't care for the spilling?


25 posted on 12/31/2004 8:38:11 PM PST by snarks_when_bored
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To: wagglebee

Wouldn't be compensating for anything now, would we?

(steely)

26 posted on 12/31/2004 8:38:32 PM PST by Steely Tom (Fortunately, fhe Bill of Rights doesn't include the word 'is'.)
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To: wagglebee
Has your Suburban or Expedition gotten too small for you, or have the Jones'
just one-upped you once again with a new Excursion?   If you thought that
so-called "large" SUVs like the Expedition have a tough look, then you need
to check out the new Kenworth Pilgrimage!We now features quality Firestone
tires to make piloting the Pilgrimage a more exciting experience!*  Presenting
the 2003 Kenworth Pilgrimage, the SUV of the future, today: 

*We accept no responsibility for putting under-rated car tires on our porky SUV. As the recent Ford
Explorer rollovers have proven, all rollovers due to the obesity and top-heaviness of SUVs are the
sole responsibility of the tire manufacturer.




We buy Kenworth semi chassis and build SUVs on them.   Shown is the
Dominator model, which includes the eight rear wheels for handling those trips
to Sam's Club.


FEATURES:
- Fits under MOST bridge underpasses. 
- The first SUV to be rated in Gallons per Mile by the EPA 
- Meet interesting people while waiting in line at Interstate Weight Stations. 
- When kids do the arm signal, you get to honk that really cool air horn! 
- Get a big rush when your Firestone tires blow out.
- Lots of road-hugging weight for occupant protection, the ULTIMATE in safety. 
- Can seat 20. Go ahead, take the WHOLE soccer team. 
- Can tow your camper, yacht, a trailer-load of frozen pizzas, or even your house! 
- Yours for under $200,000 ($100,000 for truck chassis + $100,000 standard SUV
markup) 


MODELS:
Traildodger - two wheel drive model, our best seller.
Eliminator - our Sport model - includes a 900hp quad-turbo 12-cylinder Cummins
Diesel engine, previously only available in merchant barges.  Built to resemble
those oh-so-groovy custom vans of the 70's.
Dominator  - Who else can boast ten-wheel-drive and eight tons of road-hugging,
occupant-protecting mass? 
The Grand Dominator (pictured below) - The ultimate SUV- Adds extra high
roof/cathedral ceilings, power expandable sides, full lavatory, four cell-phones,
white leather interior with lambswool carpets, TV/VCR/Nintendo 64, Sony DSS
satellite, beer cooler (go ahead, drive drunk, nothing's gonna kill you in this thing!),
and a permanent cellular link to the internet.





27 posted on 12/31/2004 8:39:28 PM PST by FreedomCalls (It's the "Statue of Liberty," not the "Statue of Security.")
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To: Paleo Conservative

Should have pinged you with #25, too.


28 posted on 12/31/2004 8:40:16 PM PST by snarks_when_bored
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To: Mad_Tom_Rackham
Mog owners having fun!

Yup, those ARE real train horns!

Over the river and through the woods... over a logging company bridge.


29 posted on 12/31/2004 8:40:50 PM PST by Mogger (Independence, better fuel eonomy and performance with American made synthetic oil.)
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To: wagglebee
Want an auxiliary for hummers to stop them from being hostile?


Auto-target mode
lock on anti-hummers who approach with a middle finger
30 posted on 12/31/2004 8:44:48 PM PST by Wiz
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To: Mogger
2 wheel drive?
31 posted on 12/31/2004 8:45:05 PM PST by perfect stranger (Godel, Escher and Bach. The Eternal Golden Braid)
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To: wagglebee
At the Sierra Club, the Hummer is reviled as a gas-guzzling behemoth with no redeeming qualities.

That's really amusing... The Sierra Club membership roster is packed with a who's who of SUV owners...

32 posted on 12/31/2004 8:45:56 PM PST by The Electrician
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To: Steely Tom

You got it exactly right, Steely.


33 posted on 12/31/2004 8:47:02 PM PST by troublesome creek
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To: wagglebee
The H2 is a descendant of the U.S. military's Humvee utility vehicle

So much for Motor Trends street cred. The H2 is basically just a rebadged GMC Yukon / Chevy Tahoe with H1 like sheet metal. There even used to be after-market body panel kits available to turn any 3/4 ton GM pickup into a Hummer wannabe a whole lot more cheaply.

34 posted on 12/31/2004 8:49:06 PM PST by Ronaldus Magnus
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To: FreedomCalls

How long is the waiting list?!


35 posted on 12/31/2004 8:50:55 PM PST by wagglebee (Memo to sKerry: the only thing Bush F'ed up was your career)
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To: Ronaldus Magnus

That's why I want the International CXT, all of the H2's I see on the road these days are being driven by either drug dealers or soccer moms.


36 posted on 12/31/2004 8:53:56 PM PST by wagglebee (Memo to sKerry: the only thing Bush F'ed up was your career)
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To: perfect stranger
Yes, TWO wheel drive. And the wheels are hollow to contain gasoline or water.

The drive to the front wheel is through a driveshaft to a miter box, then down by chain drive. Front and rear brakes are disks on the end of the miter box shafts.

Rokons can go wherever the rider dares.

Mine is set up the same as those used by our Special Forces in Afghanistan.

37 posted on 12/31/2004 8:54:51 PM PST by Mogger (Independence, better fuel eonomy and performance with American made synthetic oil.)
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To: wagglebee
How long is the waiting list?!

The funny thing is that although it is satire, I'll bet there really is a market for these if someone wanted to build one!

38 posted on 12/31/2004 8:54:55 PM PST by FreedomCalls (It's the "Statue of Liberty," not the "Statue of Security.")
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To: Mogger

Who makes than Ron Popeil of Ronco?


39 posted on 12/31/2004 8:55:12 PM PST by ProudVet77 (Beer, just not for breakfast anymore.)
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To: ProudVet77
Rokon makes them... In New Hampshire, USA.

They've been made for over 30 years in the USA.

40 posted on 12/31/2004 8:56:45 PM PST by Mogger (Independence, better fuel eonomy and performance with American made synthetic oil.)
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