Posted on 06/15/2004 8:41:39 PM PDT by Dan from Michigan
Anger Management:
When you occasionally have a bad day and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take if out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello.” "I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up I decided to call the wrong number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an idiot," and hung up.
I wrote the number down with the word "idiot" next to it and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying the bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell "You're an idiot," It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic "idiot" calling would have to stop. So I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?" He yelled "NO" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said "That's because you are an idiot."
One day I was at the store getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for the spot.
The idiot ignored me. I noticed a FOR SALE sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first idiot (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW idiot too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" "Yes"
"Don, you're an idiot." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two idiots to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So I came up with an idea. I called Idiot #1.
"Hello"
“You're an idiot." (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Idiot, I live at 1802 West 34th St., a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, idiot."
Then I called Idiot #2. "Hello," he said.
"Hello idiot," I said. He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are."
"You'll what" I said. "I'll kick your butt," he said.
I answered, "Well, idiot, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 13 news about the gang war going on West 34th St. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th St.
There I saw two idiots beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter and a news crew.
NOW I feel much better. Anger Management really works.
You owe me a keyboard.
That was the greatest thing I've read in weeks... alright, months.
Thats what my grandson said....and he's never wrong.....at thirteen!
I think I have learned a little more about basketball, then I did before.
BTW, my grandson plays center on his school team......(just loves Shaq)
Congrats to the Pistons and their fans. As one of the announcers said last night, a full house beats a pair.
BTW, Ben Wallace Day will be July 2nd in his hometown of Whitehall, AL (SW of Montgomery). Big Ben is awesome!
Uh, that's "imbecilic." And I'll take the bullet on this one, for I was wrong. And I'm glad I was.
Yes, bless them. For now they are "Celebrating with Dignity." The Wings Fans are wonderful, quiet, respectful people. ;)
The T-wolves were the best team in the West during the regular season. Sacramento wasn't favored to win, and they didn't. On the other hand, there were some people who said the only way the Pistons could beat the Lakers was if the Lakers' plane crashed. Can you imagine that?
Any choking that the Kings did in years past will never compare to this year's Finals. This was a choke for the ages. Four future Hall-of-Famers whipped like Smarty Jones down the stretch.
It must be tough to sit and talk with your own foot in your mouth and another one broken off in your...
I became interested in baseball around '91/'92, but tired of it quickly once the '94 strike set in.
I enjoyed watching the Yankees winning their first couple of championships post-strike, but gradually grew sick of them too.
I've become so disconnected that I couldn't even tell you more than 2 out of the Knicks' starting 5.
I still watch the NFL on Sunday, though not nearly as much as I used to. I think that once the Bills dumped Doug Flutie, I kind of lost hope and decided to throw in the towel on that sport also.
I wonder if that would work with those obnoxious cellphone squawkers.
Can you actually call someone an idiot via text messaging?
I got into the St. Louis Rams for a while just before they got good and later won. I can watch some football games.
I am also a good tennis player and I used to watch all the tennis, but I got bored of that as well. I found the new equipment took the elegance and feel out of the game and everybody used their blasters and the personalities are real thin out there.
Both McEnroe brothers help make it entertaining and John is the best. Today only Andre Agassi who is of retirement age has personality out there and that won't cut it for that sport long term.
Basketball is full of tattooed people who father tons of kids from different mothers out of marriage. They are both ignorant and dangerous as examples for the kids.
Baseball has ghosts at this point and is not followed by kids unless their parents are baseball fanatics.
Boxing is so false with bad judges that you can't stand to watch outcomes unless there was a knock out. It is most certainly fixed.
There is not a lot of sports to watch these days worth my time.
I picked up a LCD digital LCD projector that shoots 3500 lumens and I have one room of the house perfect to double as a movie room.
I do look forward in months from now to watch some things in HDTV quality in clear pictures that are 15 feet wide and many feet high.
Movies, some football games and some rare basketball and boxing will be more fun to watch.
Overall, basketball has the talent spread too thin with expansion teams and all of sports are more bla than years ago.
1. My TV set sucks. The reception I get is awful, and I don't have cable or a satellite dish.
2. My teams kept losing championship games/playoff series.
And finally,
3. I just moved on to better things. Like the FR forums.
I was actually interested in tennis for awhile back in the mid 90s, but I was pretty much interested in every athletic competition-including jai alai tournaments and water polo matches-back then, so you could call it a passing phase.
I like doing more than watching.
I have had a big screen TV and a good surround sound system for a time and it does make viewing a pleasure.
After I get the LCD HD Projector going, I won't see many movies because I will have the same exact quality and a huge size at home.
It makes a difference.
All this stuff doesn't have to cost an arm and a leg either.
If you are patient and shop, you can buy the stuff new for 10 cents on the dollar.
My projector lists for $14000 and I got it for under $1000.
You can buy a brand of speakers that are good called KLS that Best Buy has in stock for low low prices and they are shielded and work well.
I probably have less than $2000 invested in A big screen TV, another more expensive LCD projector that is a professional model and a complete surround sound system with a Yamaha receiver and subwhoofer (sp).
Patience and shopping saves a fortune and my system is similar to what others might have paid over ten thousand for easily.
Even if you get a new 27" flat screen TV with stereo speakers today, you will have a great time and that costs under $300 if you shop.
I tried shopping at Costco for awhile, but the one in Brooklyn-just like all the others-was located in the ass-end of the borough, so I just stopped going.
I'm not sure, but there may even be a Wall Mart or two on Long Island. I know that they have a few of them up in Westchester, which I'm sure Hillary is thrilled with, considering how much she enjoys authentic Arkansan culture.
I was born in Brooklyn.
Look up Best Buy on the net. You can shop the item you want there, then go in and look above and below the item for a "open box". Those are often even cheaper and they almost give away stuff there at times.
I bought an open box stereo 27" Phillips TV out of the box complete with remote for $159.
I was practically rolling in the floor when I read it. I sent it out immediately to my whole email list! Couldn't resist posting it here when I saw that "anger management" comment.
Only if you know their cell phone number.
I can't tell you how many FReepers have wrote exactly the same thing when they're corresponding with me.
No wonder there are no Bklyn. FR members here, they've all moved to the Sun Belt!
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