After 5,000 Years, the Mystery Of Fritz Just Won't End

THE WALL STREET JOURNAL ^ | Tuesday, February 3, 2004 | MATTHEW KARNITSCHNIG

[presidio9]

BOLZANO, South Tyrol -- One spring day in about 3300 B.C., a bearded, 5-foot-3, middle-age man in a bearskin cap was traversing the Tyrolean Alps when a flint arrowhead pierced his fur pelt and bore into his back. He bled to death in the snow.

[presidio9]

[Asclepius]

The theory collapsed, however, when a closer examination of Fritz revealed that his private parts were intact; they had just been hard to locate because of severe dehydration.

Indeed. Don't they have a patch for that now?

[EternalVigilance]

His private parts were shriveled up because he was married to the greatgreatgreatgreatgreat grandmother of Hillary Clinton. This was all confirmed when, in addition to the arrowhead in his back, they found an ashtray imbedded in the back of his skull...

[ontos-on]

LOL. I knew that there was something missing from this story. In the hands of folks like Dieter there[who would have a hard time distinguishing his elbow from another bodily part] , I feared the truth would not ever come out. You have pierced the veil.

[N. Theknow]

Frozen Fritz

So that's where Mondale wound up.

[Savage Beast]

It'll be funny if Chenoweth translates that rock in Central America and it says something like, "Oetzi got hit by flint arrowhead in Tyrollean Alps."

[Piquaboy]

I thought that parts were no longer private. Am I mistaken?

[Savage Beast]

Say what you will about Hillary, but you gotta admit her meltdowns are not televized. That takes self-control. (Of course, she doesn't want to control herself--she wants to control everybody else.)

[Redbob]

Actual conversion of Euros to dollars would be that E150,000 = $188,200.

[catpuppy]

Private parts missing in Bolzano? Think about it ...

[Verginius Rufus]

The name Oetzi is not a local dialect form of Fritz, but comes from the name of the place where the body was found.

[freekitty]

I like your response.

[BadAndy]

Private Parts missing? Was Fritz married to a Lorena Bobbitt ancestor?

[DManA]

Europeans are so starved for entertainment that 150,000 of 'em drive to see a dead body but Euro Disney can't make it. What an inscrutable people.

The iceman draws about 150,000 additional tourists and $4.9 million annually to Bolzano

[pabianice]

Bush just gave him amnesty and a green card...

[SGCOS]

Somebody say fritz?

[Tanniker Smith]

He was in the Alps for thousands of years....

Can you say "shrinkage".

ts

[presidio9]

Apparently the scientists do not know about "shrinkage." Those glaciers can be very cold.

PS> I am hughly disappointed that nobody picked up on the "Iceman" gag in my initial post. Too obscure?

[sphinx]

Remaining mysteries? Let's just send Bob Woodward over to interview him ....

[KC_Conspirator]

I think they adertised for a cure for that during the Superbowl.