Posted on 12/28/2003 11:21:25 AM PST by BenLurkin
The first thing one notices about Qin Xiao-meng is her warm smile, set upon a face that reflects a sense of peace and fulfillment. It is not outwardly apparent that the 80-year-old woman suffered years of hardship and persecution during China's tumultuous Communist Cultural Revolution, from 1966 to 1976. She was branded a "bourgeois authority" for her career as an English professor.
The revolution also affected her husband and oldest brother, accused of being spies, and her father, whose life work was taken away by revolutionary rebels. And there are more stories, many more.
Qin's "Heartbeats and Heartaches: Memoirs of an Intellectual Family in China" is a personal and political commentary on the nightmarish years that would shape her life.
"When I first took to writing, I aimed to divert attention from the sudden loss of my husband," who died of a stroke in 1991, she said. Venturing into her painful past, Qin said she found that she had a "wealth of stories to tell."
"I tried to recapture the happy memories of my life with my husband. It seems that the prime of our lives were passed in those catastrophe years. I just couldn't escape from those experiences," she said.
Qin's voice quavered a bit as she discussed memories of her father, who devoted his last years, despite his failing vision, to perpetual research, compiling Chinese genealogies that have since been regarded as a valuable asset to China's cultural heritage.
"I always felt responsible, in some way, for the death of my father. It was a chain of reaction which led to (his) premature death," she said.
The "chain of reaction" that Qin mentions is complicated and hellish, to say the least.
Under the leadership of Mao Zedong, Cold War China became a country whose "political climate turned unfavorable" to educators, Qin said. "… You never could tell what might happen to Chinese intellectuals."
In 1966, the Red Guard called Qin to a public display, where she and many of her colleagues were humiliated and forced to crawl around the sports track of their school as students poured ink and flour paste over their heads, jeered at and physically beat them.
Then came a nearly yearlong "cadre school" in 1972, a place where intellectuals were sent to "remold themselves through manual labor and to identify themselves with local peasants by eating, living and working together with them," Qin writes.
Already middle-aged by that time, Qin was forced to perform hard labor, separated from her husband and children.
Still, "I never regret that I had been born in an intellectual family," Qin said. "I think I've been greatly benefitted by my father, his personality, his tenacity and his dedication to research in the field of his interest.
"Though my field of interest is entirely different from my father's (I was an English major), … he still exerted a great influence over me," Qin said. A photograph of six members of the Qin family, all teachers, attests to her family's dedication to scholastic achievement and education.
Fortunately, "after the end of the Cultural Revolution, I was again given opportunities to display my talents, and I was again covered with honors," Qin said. In 1976, she was reinstated as vice chairwoman of the English department at Shanghai International Studies University and was cited as Advanced Worker of the Year in the field of education by the Shanghai Municipal Government for her work translating U.N. documents.
Qin's numerous Chinese publications include compilations of contemporary American and English literature, as well as Chinese translations of several works, including Lorraine Hansberry's "A Raisin in the Sun," Agatha Christie's "Murder on the Links" and Irving Stone's "Mary Todd Lincoln."
However, even in the post-Cultural Revolution years, Qin said she still had to tread lightly in her field, as professors did not enjoy academic freedom in every capacity. The ideas expressed by authors featured in her compilations could not run counter with current political campaigns, Qin said. "I had to try to avoid too many themes about love - especially sexual love, and homosexuality and perversity," she said.
In 1986, Qin moved to the United States, working as a visiting professor and researcher at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor.
"My aim was to get into direct contact with my counterparts in this country and to carry on research on American women writers," she said.
Though the culture shock was inevitable, Qin said she was impressed "by the kindness shown to aged people," "the spirit of self-improvement shown by aged people here" (upon seeing classrooms mixed with young and old alike), and the way that scholars can "speak what they think."
"Teaching is the only job in my life," Qin said. "Right now I'm old, I cannot read properly, … my hearing loss also stands in the way. I can no longer teach anymore.
What I miss most is the feeling of being young together with young people. … I felt as young as they were. … But now, I have my reward," she said with a smile.
Many of her students have helped promote her book of memoirs here and abroad, though Qin said the work is not about profit.
"I took upon myself the duty of a commentator to explain something relevant, to give some additional information to the English-speaking world (about the Cultural Revolution)," she said. "Especially, I laid emphasis on the point-of-view of the Chinese intellectual. I just want the world to know that the Chinese intellectuals had a very difficult time."
Qin said she is waiting for an answer from the Shanghai Foreign Language Press editor-in-chief, a former student of hers, as to whether or not her book can be printed in China.
Though works on the Cultural Revolution circulated in the 1990s, "people in power in present-day China don't like to refer to the ugly parts (of the revolution) so much," Qin said.
Revisiting "the ugly parts" of that time proved to be a painful, but worthwhile endeavor for Qin. Even the book's closing, an epilogue titled "A Wife's Regrets," is a poignant, albeit tormented, retrospection of her marriage.
"But after I finished (the book), I felt relieved from the sorrows and all the griefs," Qin said.
"I believe, in spite of the many adversities and bitter experiences, I still live a fulfilled life. Professionally, I have trained a large number of students because I devoted 40 years of my life to teaching English, and they are now doing good work for their own country and their own people. I'm proud of that. Academically, I have left behind some works which might benefit students and people in general," Qin said.
"… I think I'm still fortunate, in spite of those nightmarish experiences," she said.
Currently residing in Palmdale with her son Xiao-tan , Qin alternately lives with her daughter Mengxiong Liu, a professor of library and information science at San Jose State University.
Liu testified to the enduring spirit of her mother, who withstood radiation therapy and two surgeries for breast and lung cancer this year. "She's strong," she said.
Though Qin is legally blind and nearly deaf, "I still find I have a lot to do," she said. "I can still make my life worthwhile. Even though I cannot read properly or communicate with people, I still can do something with my old age."
Haunting and heart-rending, Qin's book also includes the fortunate restoration of her father's genealogical collection. After its confiscation in 1968, it had been miraculously turned over to the Shanghai Public Library and was eventually restored for public view, less a share of missing volumes. It had always been her father's intention to donate his collection to the library.
In the spirit of her father, Qin's dedication to preserving the past is clearly seen in her comprehensive work. "Heartbeats and Heartaches" offers a window into the lives of a family whose fate was tragically intertwined with China's social and political upheavals.
"It might serve as a reminder for young people that nothing of the same kind should happen again in China to Chinese intellectuals," Qin said. "I think that's a positive effect."
If only we could get rid of (fill in the blank) we could have a worker's paradise on earth.
I have been fortunate to know a man from China who went thru this Cultural Revolution. He is approx. same age as myself, mid-50's. His family was one of engineers and doctors. Both Traditional Chinese Medicine & Allopathic (Western) Medicine. In the late 60's, around 68-69, they became targets for the Revolutionary Guard. Young PRC thugs. His family was attacked, beaten, humiliated and a few were out-right killed. My friend was large for a Chinese, about 6'2" and in very good physical condition. He withstood the beatings, but the subsequent banishment to the country side did cause some health problems which continue to this day.
He eventually made his way back to society, finished off 2 advanced degrees and finally immigrated - LEGALLY - to the USA.
He worked as an engineer in Indiana for a number of years and now is a Dr and has a herb shop. He is a licensed MD and a Traditional Chinese Medicine Dr.
It is a sad story for him to recount how his family was torn apart by this happening. His family history goes back about 300+ years as intellectuals and servants of their community.
This is part of what happened during the 'Cultural Revolution.' Its very hard to get any present day PRC to speak of this time frame.
In the 80's she came to the United States and earned US citizenship. She earned a college degree and is now working as a Java/C++ programmer. She bought herself a $200,000 lakefront house and a Lexus, something she'd never have been able to do in Communist China.
She thinks that American socialists and communist-sympathizers are insane, and yet she still votes Democratic, mostly thanks to anti-conservative propaganda. Go figure.
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