Animal rights loonies save the chickens but ruin the County Fair

Backwoods Home ^ | 12-2-03 | Dave Duffy

[SJackson]

We had our County Fair between issues.

It was a small Fair with just a few thousand in attendance, but no one in our town of 1500 would miss it for the world. There’s the parade into the fairgrounds with pretty cowgirls on horses, fire engines sounding their bells and sirens, local businesses in hokey homemade floats, and all sorts of candy thrown to the children lining the one-mile route through town.

Then there’s the Fair itself with its homegrown bands, immaculately groomed goats and sheep, and mouth watering blue ribbon pies. And, of course, there’s midway, with its “characters” heralding the local children onto fantastic rides that come to this town only once a year. But the most popular part of our Fair is rodeo, not just because it has the real life drama of cowboy battling gravity as he rides a bronk or bull, but because at the end of rodeo comes the event that sums up the sheer delight of a small country Fair—Barnyard Scramble!

After the last bull has been ridden and the scores given out, there is a long pause before the gravel-voiced announcer suddenly bellows:

“Here it is folks, the event we’ve all been waiting for! Baaarnyaaaard Scraaaamble!!!”

Anticipating the announcement, dozens of children and their Moms have already made their way down the grandstand and are crowded together at a big gate at one end of the arena.

In Barnyard Scramble, the entire rodeo arena is used to free all manner of animals, from chickens and rabbits to goats and sheep, so that first the young kids (up to age 6), then the older kids (12 & under), can chase after them and catch them. They get to keep what they catch. All the animals have been donated by local folk.

It’s the real young kids that cause much of the excitement. When they are released into the arena, the cameras flash and the crowd roars with laughter as they try to catch chickens and ducks and rabbits. Mom (Dads usually stays in the stands) often has to help her youngest catch a chicken, as these birds are real tricky runners. But in the end most of the youngsters catch something.

During the second wave, the older kids run and dive and roll around in the dirt as they try to corral everything from chickens to sheep. A fast sheep is not that easy to catch, especially when you can only use your bare hands. It is really fun to watch, and, according to my three young boys, even more fun to take part in.

Barnyard Scramble is one of those events that sets apart a small country Fair from a bigger city Fair.

But this year at the end of rodeo, the much anticipated announcement about Barnyard Scramble did not occur. The event our kids had waited all year for had been cancelled. Why? Animal rights activists in our town had simply gone to the Fair Board and convinced them that Barnyard Scramble constituted “cruelty to animals.” No public debate, no sampling the opinion of the community, no testing of this “cruelty” hypothesis to see if it was true—just cancellation of Barnyard Scramble. Most Fair-goers learned of the cancellation only after they got to the Fair.

My neighbor, who is the father of two young children, summed up the general feeling in our community: “Barnyard Scramble wasn’t hurtin nuthin. Pretty soon they’ll make it so the kids can’t have any fun.”

It was another solid victory for the animal rights loonies, and another loss to a small community. I suppose this victory will be repeated again and again throughout America in a self righteous effort to protect chickens and other innocent animals throughout the land.

What a shame! We are becoming a nation of sheep as animal rights tyrants and other fringe groups among us tell us how to live. I expect little protest in our community. This little writeup may be all there is. More and more, people are just accepting these arbitrary decisions forced on us by self-proclaimed do-gooders who claim to be speaking for defenseless animals. There’s no science behind their claims, no give and take argument about what’s best for both animals and the community. A disgruntled, sour-pussed organized fringe group just puts up a fuss, and a community—at least the Fair Board that’s supposed to speak for the community—caves in.

I wonder if they’ll cancel midway next year because some group will claim our children are somehow being exploited by the “characters” who run the rides. Got to protect the children, you know, no matter how miserable you make them. Perhaps they’ll forbid all Fair food entries because that blue ribbon apple pie might get cooked by someone who doesn’t wash their hands thoroughly. Eating poison pie is no laughing matter, after all. Rodeo is a no brainer. We had a young cowboy ambulanced out of the arena this year. He was okay, this time, but maybe next time he’ll end up dead. Better cancel the event now while he’s still alive.

You know what I think. I think we should round up all the do-gooder loonies who insist on telling us how to live our lives and put them in a cage. Let them out only on Halloween when their once-a-year expression of their ideas will fit in nicely with all the other scary, crazy stuff, then put them back in their cage for another year so we can get on with our normal lives.

Of course, I delude myself. We can’t do that. These loonies have rights. I just wish the rest of us would start sticking up for ours.

[Bogey78O]

Were the activists even local?

[justrepublican]

The garden needs weedin.

[Knurd Rebos]

there's bout adoubt it

[upchuck]

Somebody close to the action needs to take a very close look at why the Fair Board seemingly caved so easily.

[Reagan is King]

You can stop the loonies by replacing the "Fair Board" with some commonsense local people that have the guts to stand up to the nutcases. That's a start. If you don't, the rodeo will be the next thing they get rid of.

Evil triumphs when good men do nothing.

[shaggy eel]

,,, it seems fairs ain't what they used to be. However, there's scope for them to change.

[STONEWALLS]

.....we had a whiff of PC manure hit our county fair this year too......the crowning of the Fair Queen is always a big deal.....next year though her title will be changed to Fair Spokesperson.....

[LibWhacker]

Pretty soon they’ll make it so the kids can’t have any fun.

But that's the point, what's the matter with you? Kids shouldn't have fun. They should carry around a generalized sense of guilt with them, so they can pass it on to their kids when they grow up. </sarcasm>

[FreeKnight]

They should carry around a generalized sense of guilt with them, so they can pass it on to their kids when they grow up.

That would make them half Catholic already.

[maverickman]

I'm all for animals being used as sustenance..but not for "entertainment", nor vain purposes...

[Rebelbase]

My kids and I saw a couple of fur protesters this weekend. It was 37 degrees out with a stiff wind and these people (guy/gal)were in body paint with thongs only. They came into the coffee shop where we were sitting to warm up and the management threw them out for not being clothed.

My kids and I laughed a good one over that and decided that the next time PETA holds an anti-meat protest in our area, we're gonna show up and grill hamburgers and hotdogs right beside them.

[mtbopfuyn]

Next they'll outlaw children.

[Newbomb Turk]

Peta people are pussies. They would throw paint on an old lady wearing a fur coat but

Try that with a biker wearing a leather jacket and see where you regain consciousness.

[Libertarianize the GOP]

ping

[farmfriend]

Rights, farms, environment ping.

Let me know if you wish to be added or removed from this list.
I don't get offended if you want to be removed.

[CommandoFrank]

Let's try this...

Next year, rather that a chicken roundup, we'll have a PETA loonie roundup, and when you catch one, you ship it out of town.

I think then even the Dad's will come out of the stands to help.

[ladyjane]

I don't see what is funny about little children scaring the heck out of rabbits and ducks. Is it the children who are supposed to think it is funny? Their parents? It is not teaching respect.

[jwalburg]

I would think a health issue would have arisen before this. Don't the chickens peck toddlers? And don't disease-carrying rabbits bite little fingers like when they attacked Jimmy Carter? The animal rights loonies should volunteer to replace the animals next year so the toddlers aren't at risk, but then it might be just as dangerous as far as head lice and rabies goes.

[chaosagent]

"I'm all for animals being used as sustenance..but not for "entertainment", nor vain purposes..."

So, based on this, you would eat a horse, but never ride one for fun or "entertainment"?

[Old Professer]

Congratulations, you have been selected by the defense for the jury pool for M. Jackson.

[TigersEye]

I'm all for animals being used as sustenance..but not for "entertainment", nor vain purposes...

Like keeping them for pets?

[nopardons]

How about for medical research ? What about for clothing ? Pets ?

Animals have been " used " for entertainment purposes, since the begging of time. There are humane ways to treat animals and inhumane ways. I suggest that you learn more about both.

[Freedom4US]

Where did this happen? I'll bet none of those clowns were local.

Get organized is all I can say. Because "they" sure as hell are, and very well funded.

[philetus]

Naw. You can beat them at their own game.
Elect a homo as fair queen. They will fall all over themselves, supporting it.

[E.G.C.]

BTTT!!!!

[Issaquahking]

You need an "activist run". Run all the "activists", hog tie em, tar and feather them, run em out of town!

Your town will will smell better for it too!

[maverickman]

no .. I wouldn't eat a horse "chaosagent"......pfft...

[maverickman]

are you "mad" old one...? pfft...

[maverickman]

I would consider that companionship......

[maverickman]

medical research? No... clothing?.. within reason such as leather, wool...... but fur .. Hell NO... thats complete and utter gluttonous vanity.. and I ain't down with that..... and "nopardons"......I'm always willing to learn more about any subject... so may I suggest you do the same...

[TigersEye]

Are you the Universal Arbiter of Motives?

I'm all for animals being used as sustenance..but not for "entertainment", nor vain purposes...

Many people keep pets for entertainment. Are you against that? Keeping an animal for companionship sounds like an awfully vain purpose in itself.

[Old Professer]

I prefer the term, eccentric.

[maverickman]

** I don't see what is funny about little children scaring the heck out of rabbits and ducks. Is it the children who are supposed to think it is funny? Their parents? It is not teaching respect. **

I do agree with you ladyjane.. in particular the last part...

[maverickman]

** Many people keep pets for entertainment. Are you against that? **
and thusly I don't agree with them doing so.....

** Keeping an animal for companionship sounds like an awfully vain purpose in itself. **

sure... (sarcasm).. it could be considered vain.. maybe if youre a "gangsta" and have a pit bull or something.. but people who have pets for the love and affection is hardly vain.. since its usually reciprocated.....

[maverickman]

I see... just checkin.. (hehe)..

[Leatherneck_MT]

Best way to fight this is to mobilize your local community AGAINST these numbskulls. Join the local Sierra club and then vote YOUR people into their leadership positions. Any public organization is subject to a hostile take over of this type. I would recommend doing that. A couple of years ago a local group here in Montana (animal rights nuts), was taken over by some locals tired of their BS. It worked quite well. Haven't heard a peep out of that idiot organization in over 4 years.

[RogueIsland]

They should replace the Barnyard Scramble with "Shooting Fish in a Barrel" and see if that makes the Animal Rights crowd happier.

[Stewart_B]

I don't see what is funny about little children scaring the heck out of rabbits and ducks. Is it the children who are supposed to think it is funny? Their parents? It is not teaching respect.

Boy I bet you were a ball to be around when you were a kid.

At our county fair we used to have greased pig catching contests and it was hilarious. Of course someone like you would find it offensive. Poor ol piggy getting scared by the evil humans.

Now that I think about it I guess it is being awful mean to the pigs. Think Ill go soothe my conscience with a tasty bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich.

I hope the tomato doesn't suffer much. :(

[maverickman]

your sarcasm is awfully ill-willed.......

[The Red Zone]

My cats are endlessly entertaining.

[Stewart_B]

your sarcasm is awfully ill-willed.......

There was no ill will intended in my post.

Animals are just that.... Animals.

We kill them and eat them.

We make clothing out of their hides.

You expect me to see some sort of evil in kids trying to catch one in a barnyard competition?

Puleeeeeze.

[maverickman]

I'm so happy for you .. really.. do you understand what I meant by "entertainment" purposes.. let me give you more of an explanation.. say..tigers jumping through flaming hoops .. shamu splashing you from a rinkydink tank.. and mm...screamin' lil chillens running after bunnies and such.. is that better.. I understand we have "domain" over other creatures.. I just feel we need to respect a lil more and not exploit them to the hilt, that is all........its all about balance...

[maverickman]

"Puleeeeeze."....... well as long as you say plese......
I just call'em like I see'm .....

[TigersEye]

... people who have pets for the love and affection is hardly vain.. since its usually reciprocated.....

I see. The definition of 'vain' depends on what the definition of 'is' is. I see where you're coming from.

[maverickman]

** I see. The definition of 'vain' depends on what the definition of 'is' is. I see where you're coming from. **

oh my goodness .. really?
dictionary.com: VAIN;

1. Having no real substance, value, or importance; empty; void; worthless; unsatisfying.
2. Destitute of forge or efficacy; effecting no purpose; fruitless; ineffectual
3. Proud of petty things, or of trifling attainments; having a high opinion of one's own accomplishments with slight reason; conceited; puffed up; inflated.
4. Showy; ostentatious.

[TigersEye]

By any of those definitions keeping pets for entertainment shouldn't be a problem then.

[maverickman]

really? thats very interesting..


like I've said before.. sigh... I believe "pets" are here for companionship.. love, affection, company... not any of the lacking superficial definitions below...

1. Having no real substance, value, or importance; empty; void; worthless; unsatisfying.
2. Destitute of forge or efficacy; effecting no purpose; fruitless; ineffectual
3. Proud of petty things, or of trifling attainments; having a high opinion of one's own accomplishments with slight reason; conceited; puffed up; inflated.
4. Showy; ostentatious.

and if its this way in your case.. I'm truely sorry.....

[TigersEye]

Not at all. My point was that by those definitions it would not be vain to use tigers, whales, seals, etc, for entertainment. I don't know why you think those definitions are lacking and superficial. They seem correct to me.

[TigersEye]

I believe "pets" are here for companionship.. love, affection, company...

Believing that other sentient beings are here for your benefit is the height of arrogance and egotism.