Posted on 10/24/2003 12:22:00 PM PDT by Bob J
"The Cork In Rush’s Bat"
By Luis Gonzales
Like Miami’s Dave Barry, I’ve been an avid Marlins fan for several weeks now, and watched the Marlins/Cubs series religiously (which coincidentally is the same way I approach Church attendance; about once a year, and during a specific season…but never mind that, we’re talking sports and politics right now).
I grew a passionate and ardent (is that redundant, or did I just repeat myself?), dislike for the Cubs—whom as I came to find out reside in Chicago, which is north of here. A fact that explained why there where always a gazillion fans in our stadium for their games, but no Marlins fans in theirs, as most northbound travel by south Floridians dead ends in any motel in the general vicinity of Disney World that features a free continental breakfast—the moment I found out that they were a baseball team, and that they would be playing my beloved Marlins, which is a fish (one that doesn’t get a lot of exposure because it’s not generally found in sushi menus) as are all championship teams in Florida, with the possible exception of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the Florida State Seminoles, the University of Miami Hurricanes, the University of Florida Gators, the Jacksonville Jaguars, and perhaps several others. Cubs, on the other hand, are apparently some species of goat, at least according to everything I saw written about them on Internet forums this past few weeks.
My dislike for these Cubs grew as we graciously allowed them to score runs at will, and they, in very unsportsmanlike manner I might add, refused to return the favor; something I attributed to their frustration at playing non-stop baseball with no significant results since the Taft administration. That of course, along with the fact that the inconvenient game scheduling, caused many TIVo controversies between the games, Bachelor Bob in the evenings, and a similarly named sponge in the afternoons (or maybe, it was the other way around) didn’t help the goats make friends in this Marlin household.
I did come to learn an interesting fact about one of the stars of the goats from the windy city while watching the series: he had apparently behaved badly somewhere along the way to the championship and broken a bat, exposing the corked center, which is against League rules. This led me to another learned fact, and I was finally able to explain to my seven year-old t-ball star how they could make metal bats that weighed so little. I could not however, explain to him how the goat superstar had avoided punishment by being sent to the batter’s box, which as we had both learned from watching hockey some years ago when the Florida Panthers made the playoffs, is where players that behave badly get to serve their time-outs. We figured that he was much too important a goat for time-out.
It was while listening to the radio one afternoon that I learned about the curious tradition of yelling “CORK!” anytime the aforementioned goat star shattered a bat, unless of course, you were a fan of the Goats, in which case, you pretended that the whole cork thing had either been a huge misunderstanding, or had not happened at all. It does appear however, that even when the bat doesn’t break, the ghost of the cork rears its ugly head, and every hit made by the goat star will here and forever more be seen as questionable, which is not a good thing for the fans of the goat from Chicago named Cubs.
I learned all these things while flipping stations between Bachelor Bob, the similarly-named sponge, the ball games, and the news about the political sports commentator who made a politically incorrect observation about the facts that A) some quarterback was not as good as everyone said he was, and B) that he was black, both statements, while both being true in and of themselves, apparently, when used in the same sentence became a truth that no one was allowed to mention, so he had to quit commenting. Soon after that, this very same commentator confessed to breaking some rules, and secluded himself from his job, trying to escape further scrutiny, or maybe even trying to do the right thing, but it appears that the other team won’t let that happen. This led me to think that perhaps, he should have corked it, and his fans could have made the whole thing out to be a huge misunderstanding, and ignored the other team yelling, “CORK!”
This was good enough for the goat, but the commentator took the illogical route once again, and opted to tell the truth, which, as we see illustrated so often these days, is not a good thing to do.
Things however, seem to have a funny way of working themselves out, and in the same way that the goat with the cork failed to achieve significant results after playing possum, the commentator being played as a scapegoat for not having corked it, will probably find significance in his seclusion, and come back swinging.
I am however concerned that the other team will never allow him to forget his rule breakage, and try to taint his game by constantly reminding everyone of his past transgressions, and because of that, every point made by the political commentator will be made to appear questionable, and maybe even double-spoken.
But that’s baseball, ain’t it folks?
Me?
I’m excited and looking forward to the upcoming All South Florida World Series between the Marlins, and our other home team, the Yankees.
GO FISH!!!
(c) 2003 Luis Gonzales
We'll see how this all shakes down. I just think the hypocrisy on the left is fairly evident. Rush really never was down on druggies, just on government libs, feminazis, environmental commie weasels and moocher welfare scanks.... His credibility is intact on those things, I don't think he will be seen in the same light however. Actually that's the point that libs don't get.... conservatives aren't in a "one leader" cult.... so killing Rush off will just give others room to make a voice. Conservatives are driven by the principles of low taxes, limited government, Judeo-Christian morals (including attonement and forgivness) and love of country.... libs believe in ..... just the opposite.
I'm actually pulling for Rush to come back.. be ballsy and join the fray again.
I won't mention the Kennedy's or Clinton.... what with Jesse Jackson, Marion Berry, multiple Bronx judges, Danny Morales, Alcee Hastings, yadda, yadda, yadda. The problem with naming Liberal or Democratic scandals is that "ends justify the means" and "moral relativism" are the mantra.. lying is the only way to "fool" the public into voting for their ideas. So if only by deception can libs "play to the middle" they start off as liars and any other crime, graft or disreputable behavior is 'OK".
Is Rush a hypocrite... yep I guess so... but I think his real "sin" is that of pride. That old reliable fault that insures the downfall of the person that thinks he's a little bit better and more deserving than others.... The problem for Rush is going to be humility in private while keeping the bravado in public. So Rush the blow hard conservative character that is the host will have to come under control of the private person "Rush Limbaugh" that neither of us know. So just like addicts I see in the ER... I'll hope he does well and encourage the outpatient counseling.
If you think this will shut up the conservatives on the air... well just keep digging and flinging crap.... and ignore the philosophical debate ... at your own risk.
However, Rush's fans have generally exercised commendable restraint in this comparison thing. The finger-pointing ain't happening. Bill Clinton was a coke-snorting fool, but that has precious little to do with Rush's problem. Most conservatives know that intuitively.
Right now, it's up to FL law-enforcement to put up, or shut up. If he committed a crime, charge the SOB, and arrest him. Most conservatives also have the common-sense to know that the media is going to whip Rush like a 5-dollar mule. But you know, it can't be much worse than what they do to Liza Minelli.
I've also written the following - and thanks for giving me the chance to repeat it.
"To me the difference is: Rush got hooked legally.
The analogy is: two pedestrians are hit by a car in two separate incidents. One pedestrian was walking in the street, the other was walking on the sidewalk and the car jumped the curb and hit him."
Of course, I've heard him refer to long-haired, maggot infested - they're the ones walking in the street. And can the whining about the damage to conservatism - there wouldn't be a viable conservative movement in this country if it weren't for Rush.
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