Posted on 10/29/2023 11:10:36 AM PDT by RandFan
It's just that addicts are a waste of space and time, and they harm many other sober people's lives, like their spouses, parents or children. Pox on their lazy, excuse-making asses.
You see Matthew Perry smiling condescendingly and snarking to a genuinely literate man throughout that exchange. I'm not buying Perry's explanation, either.
Sorry if it's too soon for some of his fans. I'm really sorry for his friends and loved ones. They put up with a lot over the years—trying to help him as he was committing slow suicide, wrecking his health. Probably had a heart attack in the hot tub.
common sense, moderation in everything.
Why yes; yes he does. And so do I. Ask anyone who has ever been married to a self-serving, lying, manipulating, delusional alky. Everyone is wrong but them.
You are utterly and entirely mistaken. That was his brother, Christopher Hitchens.
There is no cure for alcoholism. There is only recovery. Expecting a "cure" is part of the disease. Recovery takes humility and it takes hard work; that's why some people don't want to stop indulging.
Matthew Perry was extremely fearful of being alone - by way of abandonment, because of a long period of fear that developed as a result of the separation of his parents from each other.
That period began when Matthew Perry was a mere baby.
He ended up filling the empty space with drugs, booze, and the response he received by his being a comedian - from a very early age. Fame eventually arrived.
At first, he relished that fame; but the responsibility for not letting down, his friends at the production of *Friends,* weighed more and more . . . and thus more cycles of drugs and booze, and “rehab.”
No matter how long he might have a girl in his life, he feared that girl would just walk away - especially at the moment the girl would tell him, that she loved him.
Instead of then, waiting in anxious depression, for the girl to leave . . . Matthew would [somehow] leave.
Overall, he was in a downward spiral that he constantly had to fight in order to control the varying rates of his descent - the net of the downers, instead of the uppers.
He wrote, “There are two kinds of drugs for addicts. Downers and uppers.” And, his choice was downers.
The reason you can't achieve what you want is that you have not understood your disease correctly. You are an addict. Your body craves this particular substance excessively, so that you feel compelled to continue. You will not be able to have a few and stop. You need to accept that your only path to recovery is recognizing your illness for what it is, and stop fantasizing that you can still drink.
Your body is addicted; but your mind does not have to stay that way. It's up to you.
AA is a great program. Rehab only breaks the addiction temporarily. AA helps you to learn about the illness and how to start the road to recovery, one day at a time.
Beautiful testimony of the power of a great recovery program and a man who made best use of the opportunity! I remember the difference in my FIL when he finally stopped — nine months before his death from cirrhosis, spitting up blood. At least I finally got a glimpse of him being a nice person for the first time since I knew him. You and your mom were fortunate that your dad put in the work and you had those years with him!
Congratulations on your hard work and determination!
Yes. I agree. My dad did a lot of worthy things in his life that commanded the respect of those who knew him, but of all the things he did, it was getting sober that I admire him most for.
Just wow.
One of my drunk relatives got into AA, but not soon enough. Dropped dead of a heart attack in front of his young kids at age 45 during the holidays, ruining the occasion for the family left behind for decades to come. Even if you have some health problems, at least you're still here, and your family has your sober presence. Bless you, and may God help you find healing for your physical health as well.
“Just stop it” only works in the imaginations of people who aren’t addicts. But sobriety takes WORK on the part do the addict.
There are two things to believe or disbelieve in this issue. 1) whether it is an addiction; and 2) whether will power has any part in managing the addiction to the point of extinguishing the problem behavior.
You will notice on the thread the several people exclaiming about how addictive it is, it's so addictive, so complicated, so many reasons and excuses why there is no stopping!! And then the ones who believe that they are in fact addicted; and if it can be overcome, that will power may play a part, but that it requires a willingness to do the work, and the work is not easy, but they will try. Some mentioned a Higher Power; some mentioned the support of AA.
Others apparently think you must drink until you have absolutely ruined everything and end up dead or in jail. That is why lazy, entitled drunks are such a colossal pain in the ass and richly deserve the contempt they earn.
I agree with the solution - I just need to quit altogether instead of trying to drink moderately.
But it’s not a physical disease - it’s a bad habit just like smoking, gambling, over-eating or watching too much TV. You break habits just like you form habits - by repetition. After I repeated 20-25 days without smoking, the habit of smoking was replaced by the habit of not smoking.
I can do it with drinking too - I just need to accept and resolve that I have to quit drinking alcohol altogether in order to break the habit. Limiting myself to a few drinks is apparently not enough of a clear change in behavior to break the habit.
When you repeat a behavior often enough, your brain comes to expect that behavior and accept it as normal. When a behavior feels normal, it becomes habitual - the path of least resistance.
Breaking the habit of over-eating is one of the toughest of all, because of course you can’t quit food altogether. But people have success by making rules for themselves - never eat certain foods. Never eat after 7pm, etc..
It’s silly to call it a disease you are born with - as if you have no control over it. Of course you do. Anyone who has broken a bad habit will tell you it took discipline and hard work. Will power. You have to decide that you want it bad enough to do the hard work of resisting the compulsion. Your.brain has an autopilot and tends to automatically compel you in a given direction - even if it’s the wrong direction. The way you reset that autopilot through repetition - set a better direction. After a while it gets easier to go in the new direction because now your brain’s autopilot is working in your favor.
The other thing to remember is people are different - so different approaches work better for different people. For example, I don’t crave alcohol - if I don’t go out and there’s nothing at home, I can go without a drink for a week without even thinking about it.. I wouldn’t jump in the car and go to a bar or liquor store like some alcoholics. If my wife and I have a glass of wine I don’t need to pour myself more.
If I go to a party, I don’t tend to drink too much - I don’t want to embarrass myself.
My problem is when I go to a bar - people at bars tend have one drink after another - I just don’t have an off switch in that setting. I play league pool on Tuesdays and it’s always at a bar. I stay reasonably sober until i shoot, so that I’ll play well, but after I play a start drinking and usually drink too much.
I guess I either have to quit pool or quit drinking.
Oh, poor Matthew. Nobody else ever had such troubles. His troubles were so much worse than the poor working schlubs who finally clean up their acts that handsome, wealthy, famous Matt was entitled to keep on bingeing and being a chaos agent to his friends and loved ones. What, Matt worry? Let his friends and relatives worry on his behalf; he, however, DESERVED to wallow!
Our society became embarassed of religion some time after WW2 and has never recovered—permanent adolescents who think themselves sophisticated instead—too smart for humility and too cool for school. Self-indulgence has killed the last, best hope on Earth in terms of nations.
There is truly no hope but the Lord; and many of us may see him sooner than we would have wanted. Be sure you’re ready, folks, so that he doesn’t shut the gate in your face.
Thanks.
Yeah. 33 years sober.
And BOY! Am I thirsty.(just kidding.)
This one is just as much a wanker as his brother was.
The bad habit of which you speak starts to create the addiction in the body. The habit is in your mind; but it’s hard to break if you don’t recognize that you have altered your body by doing the habit, and now you are addicted.
There are daily drinkers and there are binge drinkers. Bingeing is still alcoholism and addiction, or you would stop; but you say you don’t when you get into your excuse groove at the bar.
Addiction is mental and behavioral habits as well as physical craving. Get in a good AA program and learn how to think properly about it, to help yourself into the mental state of recovery. It’s as important as clearing the substance from your lifestyle.
He really is not. I’ve read his columns for years. He does not attack religion and is astute about his field, chiefly UK politics. I don’t know who put him in this debate about addiction; since it isn’t his specialty.
Amen to your awesome testimony!
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