Posted on 01/18/2023 2:50:02 AM PST by C19fan
I am 65 and going in the other direction. After growing up in the church, conservative, boy scout, doing what I was supposed to do, college, wife, kids, I find I am much more liberal in my views on sex and life socially in general. 4-5 years now, no wife, lots of sex, more drugs. Having a much more enjoyable life.
I’ll stick with the third date rule...
How old were these kids?
No NO.
"Women who have sex with men before they're married KNOW the man is breaking the rules with them. So, once married, they are afraid he'll do the same thing again, with another woman...break the rules. They don't trust him. They call him all of them time and want to know where he is and what he's doing. This trust breakdown causes the divorces."
I think this is called “having a vested interest”....
While I’m not endorsing random promiscuity.
I will say in my life the women/girls I had the deepest emotional relationships with were also the ones we had mutual physical attraction. All my biggest failures were ones we either didn’t physically click or didn’t become physical with at all.
Uggg. Looks like Chelsea
Same. Less of the drugs but not ruling it out. Way more sex. Less commitment. Big improvement overall.
Sounds like high school days. Stop at the gas station on that first date. Tell her you’re getting the old Trojans in the bathroom. If she’s not in the car when you come back, you’ve saved yourself the cost of a date.
Been years since I heard that tune.
L
STD’s be damned!
“Relationship expert” pfffft...
Interesting. Presume that you are divorced too. One theory is that if your wife passed away, and you had a good marriage, there is a chance you would have stayed more conservative / traditional in your dating as a widower.
Knew a very attractive woman not too long ago who dated one guy (high school sweet heart), married, kids, became unhappy in marriage after 30 years. She took the initiative left and claimed to be separated (still legally married) 3+ years later. She wanted to be courted the old fashioned way BUT was looking for the right guy to have a “friends with benefits” relationship. She felt she missed out on dating in her younger years.
Her complaint - guys would take her out to a restaurant, then right after dinner - straight up ask her to go to her place to have sex. She felt cheap. That’s what she missed out in the 1970s ... making up for lost time ain’t all it is cracked up to be. It’s a slippery slope. Back then, as now, one who plays the free-sex field (or marital cheating) will eventually meet the date from hell. There are some movies that capture this situation quite well.
As it applies to the author, Miss Pincushion, maybe that’s the best she can get. I come at this from two perspectives. Once a male whore in the 80’s and at least early 90’s and later as the father of three girls.
There are times when there’s going to be sex on the first date- simply because it’s not a date. It’s a chance encounter, with an even better chance that you’ll never see each other again. A drunken night of partying where two consenting adults end up in bed is not a date.
Then, there are the others. The ones you are willing to put in effort. I’ve been married twice, the most recent for over 22 years. I waited and built a relationship first with both of them. Unfortunately, contestant number 1 was as much of a whore as I was and found “better” in short order. It’s never really worked out for her, having at least 6 failed relationships after me. Contestant number 2 has lasted. Though, she is patient (and Asian), she’s no pushover. In every other way, she’s as American as can be, but when it comes to faithfulness she’s old school.
I always tell my daughters about how men can be pigs, but even pigs can be trained. Mostly. men just want what women want. A reliable, faithful partner. But, if you carry yourself as a partier just to be accepted, you’ll be treated as a partier. Carry yourself as a serious woman, and a man will either respect you and work for your hand, or they’ll leave. Either way, the outcome is preferred.
Pontificating morons are an unfortunate part of modern existence.
Damn, I didn’t even have sex with my first wife after we were married. :-)
“While I’m not endorsing random promiscuity.
I will say in my life the women/girls I had the deepest emotional relationships with were also the ones we had mutual physical attraction. All my biggest failures were ones we either didn’t physically click or didn’t become physical with at all.”
Why then did those great relationships end? It sounds like they were all failures.
“Relationship expert” trying to justify why so many young women have become bed hopping sluts..
.........
Maybe because they are trying to find in all the wrong places what the Good Lord taught could only in a marriage between aman and a woman both totally committed to each other only for life. That deep, sincere commitment makes sex a totally different experience in kind from the sex of the uncommitted. (relying on spell check here)
Good traditional view. When one is young, life seems forever, and sowing one’s wild oats before one settles into marriage is a common belief. Some sowed a lot, and some sowed a few. Many of us look back and see how stupid a philosophy that was - as all one has are fleeting memories and hopefully a lesson learned and a return to God.
Yes, that isn't a sexist comment, the male/female dynamic is real whether the so called experts want you to believe it or not.
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