Posted on 01/09/2023 9:17:23 AM PST by SeekAndFind
They are lacking commitment, a critical feature.
Marriage, over the long haul, is an act of will, not of feeling.
I would think living together actually makes it harder to call off a marriage that is ultimately doomed to fail.
Seems that if you don’t live together, it makes it easier to just walk away.
Right on the money, and I think this is what the article was saying in a more round-about way.
Oh boy.
This could be a nasty thread.
Anyway, shacking up is a waste of time.
Isn’t it weird that immoral people eschew “marriage” but feel the need to play house and “stay faithful”? (Let’s not ignore the main point is to have regular sex and feel like one is moral about it.)
If you actually stay faithful in your dating years, you’ve wasted many potential mates. I say you need to shop around. You need to be open.
Then you make the full commitment after you’ve checked those fish in the sea.
Yes.
However, moral people are the ones who are “weird” and “sanctimonious” and get shouted down for the last 50 years.
Amazing I got through that my whole life and had no thought of shacking up.
But not you, right?
LOL
It’s amazing how big a deal we make out of the dumbest things.
And it’s one you’ll never forget. Cherish the memory. My wife and I still laugh about it.
Yes!!
You may be correct, but I’ve heard of people meeting late in life and being just fine. I wonder about my cousin, too, who is 47.
My hubby isn’t quite at your stage, as far as “alone”.
But, I was 35 and he was 38 getting married. We were never married. He had the added interest of having been truly alone since graduating college. No roommates, nothing. Never even had his local friends live with him.
We celebrated last year’s wedding anniversary as the year he equaled his alone time of 17 years.
Yup. Zero regrets.
I then asked her when she married Grandpa did she love him? She started laughing boisterously on the phone. She said “no, I married him because he owned a farm and I was a single mother in the 1930s.” I thought, wow so much for love. But then she said something I have passed down to my children. She said, “but one morning years later I woke up, looked at the man sleeping next to me and thought I never want to wake up and not see him there. That's when I knew I loved your Grandpa.”
That's why you marry, and not live together first. You go through the tough times together, grow to trust and find comfort in each other. One day you wake and realize you really are in love.
Lol!
Her name is Michelle. About halfway through our 11 month courtship I had gotten to where I was calling her ‘honey’ most of the time (45 years later still do).
She asked why I was not using her name very often. I told her, of the girls I had dated before her, none achieved the name ‘honey’. I said there are plenty of girls named Michelle, but for me only one honey. That satisfied her.
About 20 yrs ago I gave her the nickname Shelly slam-bang, which she admits is somewhat accurate, lol!
“Go call your husband”
“Sir I have no husband”
“Well have you spoken”
.......
“Because the husband you have is not your own”
John Chapter 4
Been telling young people for decades that All or nothing at all is the only way to approach any long-term relationship. IF you aren’t willing to give your all to another person on a permanent basis, no matter WHAT happens, then you aren’t ready to live together either. Marriage doesn’t alway shut the door completely but it DOES remove your own foot from the door of leaving and creates the feeling of permanence that is essential for building trust in each other. “One only keeps a foot in the door if there is an intention to use it”. L.Star
And then she’s alone, 5-10 years older, and all her girlfriends/wingmen have paired up and moved on.
Shacking up... perhaps indicative of an overall lack of respect for marriage... this is not rocket surgery ...
Same here. Most men I meet are not at all interested in my “independent together” mindset. I really love traveling alone and they all think I’m off having an Italian affair.
Last night I was in the parking lot at Trader Joe’s loading my groceries into my car and overheard a guy asking a girl out two cars over. He sounded very nice and respectful, telling her he would like to meet her for a coffee sometime. He was also kind of cute. She was alright, not any great beauty and not the type wearing yoga pants and false eyelashes. (“Im just slumming it and running errands, but I had time to put on fake lashes and beachwave my hair.”) Both were college age and granted, I didnt know what led up to the conversation (was he wandering around a parking lot asking randoms for dates?). But she turned him down, and I thought to myself, “Is she crazy? Does she not realize how rare it is for them to politely ask you out TO YOUR FACE these days???”
Traditional marriage implies a vow to God, which implies a fear of God.
Today, most young people have no idea what this means.
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