Posted on 04/02/2020 10:26:55 AM PDT by Captain Peter Blood
BREAKING NEWS:
President Trump and Former VP Joe Biden spoke on the phone last night to discuss the Coronavirus Crisis.
Mr. Biden brought up a number of concerns and suggestions. President Trump assured Mr. Biden that most of his suggestions had already been addressed and that everything that could be done was already in place.
Mr. Biden offered his services to help in the crisis and the President told him that there was one critical area he might be able to help. President Trump indicated that with all of the urgent priorities his administration was dealing with there was one critical medical item that was in very short supply, Tongue Depressors. It was of absolute importantance that this shortage be dealt with as it turns out most were coming from China and they had cut the U.S. supplies off.
President Trump indicated that if Mr. Biden were serious in his offer of help he would appoint him as a Medical Procurement Czar for Tongue Depressors. Mr. Biden jumped at the chance and said he was honored to help.
The President told Mr. Biden that there was a need for at least 200 Million Tongue Depressors and that his job would be to find a new source of supply either in the U.S. or possibly Canada or South America.
The discussion centered on whether to have one time use wooden depressors or re-useable plastic ones that could be sterilized for reuse. Mr. Biden indicated he would put together a task force to look into all of this. The President said Mr. Biden would work out of his Bunker office in Delaware and assemble his own staff.
To aid Mr. Biden in his task the President directed Lt. General Frank Armstrong, commander of the White House Air Fleet, to make a plane and a helicopter available for the former Vice President. General Armstrong, when interviewed, said that a Boeing 707 in mothballs was being readied for the Former Vice President.
Mr. Biden was eager to get started and said he would suspend his Presidential Campaign immediately to take on his new position. Mr. Biden indicated he would resume his campaign in and around October 1st after the crisis has passed.
I think Joe Biden wrote the title of this thread. :D
Please tell me it’s from the Babylon Bee - puleezzee!
April Fools was yesterday.
The workings of. An idle mind
Instead of tongue depressors, the shortage should be rectal thermometers. The only country with a surplus is China. Given that medical devices from China experience an 80% failure rate, Biden would have to test each one.
I like it!
I think this is an April Fool’s Day joke.
Beautifully written. I needed the laugh.
probably a farce. but if Biden would do this it would be far better for the country than the recent style of destructive Democratic politics
...hopefully he can enlist Pelousy Schitt Bernie and a few more destructive D politicians to assist him in transporting the tongue depressors
But I think you were very creative with your joke post. 8>)
Biden would be better served as an ambassador to the wizards of Hollywood. All these mensa people in the same room could bounce ideas around and then write up a paper.. or something.
Joe could be in charge of the alzheimers wing at the Hillary Clinton hospital for the criminally insane.
WELL DONE....
LOL!
We see what you did there :-)
A tested toilet paper czar would also be appropriate considering the need and shortage reported.
Tahat dude trying to use a train to ram tthat hospital ship started out like a great april fools joke
Trump is terrible at character judgement. He’s allowed one liberal buffoon after another into his administration.
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