Posted on 03/14/2020 12:16:45 PM PDT by sodpoodle
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals." One of the guys, of course, said, "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?" "N," she answered.
A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..."
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
(Excerpt) Read more at laughfactory.com ...
How do you spell Mississippi? The state or the river?
Ha Ha!!!!
I dated a bunch of blondes in my younger years.
Some fit the bill well. The ones that didn’t had dye jobs :)
Cause I’m a Blonde
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9Wi3A3skb0
One blonde student was asked to write out the words to “Old MacDonald”. She misspelled E-I-E-I-O.
Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
Because it matches their mustache!
This is the truth and it always gets a laugh: Whenever I see a blonde who definitely needs a fresh dye-job I always ask her, “M’am, you have such beautiful, blonde hair but please tell me why you go through all of the trouble to dye the roots brown? ;-)
A blonde is sick of all the blonde jokes, so she dyes her hair brown. Then one day, she’s driving past a field of sheep, and thinks they’re so cute, she stops to look. The shepherd is nearby so she asks if she can have one, of course, he says no. Then she says she’ll make a bet with him, that if she can guess how many sheep there are, would he let her have one. He said okay.
So she guessed 487. And the shepherd is shocked, and he informs her that there are 487 sheep in the field, so as a man of his word, she can have one. She goes off into the field, and returns a few minutes later.
Then, the shepherd asks her “If I can guess what color your hair used to be, can I have my dog back?”
Two blondes went into the forest to watch the animals.
All of a sudden, one turned sharp left and looked at the ground.
She yelled,”Hey, come here. I see rabbit tracks.”
The other came over, looked, and replied, “No...those are deer tracks.”
“You’re mistaken. Those are definitely rabbit tracks.”
“Deer tracks”
“Rabbit tracks.”
“Deer tracks!”
“Rabbit tracks!!”
“DEER TRACKS!
“RABBIT TRACKS!!”
They stood there arguing for over 2-hours when a train finally came by and killed them both.
Why are blondes like turtles.
Once they are on their backs they are screwed.
How does that go?
Did the carpet match the drapes?
Dunno, she has hardwood floors...
A blonde female police officer parked by the side of the road saw a car zoom by exceeding the speed limit by 20 miles an hour. She pulled out and went after the car, and after the car pulled over, she walked up and greeted the driver.
When she asked for the drivers license and registration, the bewildered looking blonde driver begin rummaging through her purse fruitlessly. She looked up at the The blonde female police officer, and said in frustration: “I can’t seem to find it… What does it look like?“
The blonde female police officer looked up at the sky, and said in an exasperated tone: “It’s about the size of a business card, and it has your picture on it.“
The blonde driver rummaged some more, and her face brightened as she reached in and pulled something out and handed it to the blonde police officer.
The blonde police officer looked at the object in her hand and opened it up revealing not a drivers license, but a cosmetic compact mirror.
She said the Blonde driver in the sharp tone of someone who has had their time needlessly wasted: “You know, you could’ve save both of us a lot of time and trouble by telling me that you were a police officer as well.”
lol
I can’t even believe you went there :)
This is a PG rated site!! Used to be G :)
What is it called when a Blonde dyes her hair Black?
Artificial Intelligence.
Two blondes are walking on opposite sides of a creek.
One asks, “How do you get to the other side?”
The other replies, “You idiot! You’re already on the other side.”
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. “Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”
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