Posted on 01/02/2019 9:35:10 PM PST by Teotwawki
A Des Moines, Iowa man allegedly assaulted a convenience store clerk with a banana in a case that police initially believed was not real.
Rogelio Tapia, 26, was arrested and charged with assault and other crimes after he allegedly used a piece of fruit as a weapon to attack a cashier at QuikTrip early Tuesday morning.
Tapia was charged with assault on persons in certain occupations, simple assault, interference with official acts and third-degree criminal mischief
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
Colonel (Graham Chapman): Right. Carry on Sergeant Major!
Sergeant (John Cleese, shouting throughout): Right sir! Good evening, class.
All (mumbling): Good evening.
Sargeant: Where's all the others, then?
All: They're not here.
Sgt.: I can see that. What's the matter with them?
All: Dunno.
Chapman (member of class): Perhaps they've got 'flu.
Sgt.: Huh! 'Flu, eh? They should eat more fresh fruit. Ha. Right. Now, self-defence. Tonight I shall be carrying on from where we got to last week when I was showing you how to defend yourselves against anyone who attacks you with armed with a piece of fresh fruit.
(Grumbles from all)
Palin: Oh, you promised you wouldn't do fruit this week.
Sgt.: What do you mean?
Jones: We've done fruit the last nine weeks.
Sgt.: What's wrong with fruit? You think you know it all, eh?
Palin: Can't we do something else for a change?
Idle (Welsh): Like someone who attacks you with a pointed stick?
Sgt.: Pointed stick? Oh, oh, oh. We want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh? Well I'll tell you something my lad. When you're walking home tonight and some homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me! Now, the passion fruit. When your assailant lunges at you with a passion fruit...
All: We done the passion fruit.
Sgt.: What?
Chapman: We done the passion fruit.
Palin: We done oranges, apples, grapefruit...
Jones: Whole and segments.
Palin: Pomegranates, greengages...
Chapman: Grapes, passion fruit...
Palin: Lemons...
Jones: Plums...
Chapman: Mangoes in syrup...
Sgt.: How about cherries?
All: We did them.
Sgt.: Red *and* black?
All: Yes!
Sgt.: All right then, bananas.
(All sigh.)
Sgt.: We haven't done them, have we? Right. Bananas. How to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. Now you, come at me with this banana. Catch! Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. First of all you force him to drop the banana; then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him 'elpless.
What are they going to charge him with? Assault and bananary?
He did not spend any time evaluating his choice of weapons. Typical liberal hysterics.
No matter how the verdict turns out, there’s plenty of grounds for appeal.
I hear he will a peel his conviction...
You beat me by 30 seconds...
LOL
He must have been brandishing some of those green bananas!
If judged guilty, he plans to A-peel.
It was probably loaded with potassium.
Did he harvest the banana too?
And Nazi Pelosi’s daughter told CNN that her mother could cut your head off and you would not even feel blood. Seems like we are letting the bad ones get away.
He’s in a bunch of trouble.
Suppose he’s got a bunch?
Don’t bring a banana to a gun fight!
Was his “banana” hard or soft?
I dunno, in San Fagsicko, assault with a banana might be seen as sex play between consenting perverts?
I’ll bet the banana didn’t do much to him but I’m all for a scumbag getting arrested and charged.
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