who needs a laugh.)
Cute.
Gave me a smile. :o)
I didn’t see that one coming.
One day, shortly after joining the PGA tour in 1965, Lee Trevino, a top professional golfer and married man, was at his home in Dallas, Texas, mowing his front lawn, as he always did.
A rather attractive lady driving by in a shiny Cadillac stopped in front of his house, lowered the window and asked, “Excuse me, do you speak English?"
Lee responded, “Yes Ma'am, I do."
The lady then asked, “What do you charge to do yard work?"
Lee said, "Well, the woman in this house lets me sleep with her."
The lady hurriedly put the car into gear and sped off.
LOL...Very good...
LOL!
OMG, that is so stupid....
LOL
Well done.
I figured early on this was a joke, but I didn’t see that coming.
Years ago I knew a 55 year old woman who’d been married four times.
I told her I knew a guy (and I did) who’d been married four times.
She asked me, with some interest, how old he was. I told her he was 40.
She said “I want to marry one, not raise one.”
True story.
I guess her next husband will own a recycling center?
Ahhh, but don’t you...step on her blue suede shoes
You can do anything but lay off of those blue suede shoes.
An old Foster Brooks joke.
I’ve been widowed 3 times.
My first wife died from eating poison mushrooms.
My second wife died from eating poison mushrooms.
My third wife died from a gunshot wound. She wouldn’t eat her mushrooms.
Laughing.
That is so bad, hahaha.
A Ronald Reagan told joke...
A mature women walks into a wedding dress shop and asks for a white wedding dress.
The salesperson seems surprised she wants a white dress and asked if she has ever been married.
She answers 3 times but, she never had sex.
The first time was tragic. My husband and I agreed to wait till marriage. On the way to the honeymoon hotel he died.
The second was equally tragic. We agreed to wait until the wedding night, but while going to the hotel we had such a bad argument, that we annulled the marriage and never spoke again.
That’s terrible said the sales person, what about the 3rd?
Oh, he was a Democrat and just sat at the end of the bed and kept telling me how great it was going to be.
The same young news reporter was sent to interview an elderly lady who was known by her friends for predicting the weather with great accuracy.
Being a bit of a smart alec, she thought she’d have some fun with the old gal.
Reporter - I understand you predict the weather every day. How do you do it, sore knee that aches or something?
Lady - Nope. I wake up before my husband. He’s the real weather man! I pull down the sheets and his bed clothes. If “it” is laying on his left, it will be a sunny day. If “it” (and she blushes a little by now) in on his right, we will have rain.
Reporter (now she is blushing) but asks with a wink “And what about if “IT” is in the middle?”
Lady - “Oh that’s simple dear. I get back into bed!