Not Profane, it's Profound.

email from a friend | 01/28/2018 | unknown

[sodpoodle]

The 'F' Word

When is " @#$% " or " @#$%ing " Acceptable?

There are only 11 times in history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use.

They are as follows in ASCENDING order....

11. "What the @#$% do you mean, we are sinking?

~ Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912.

10. "What the @#$% was that?"

~ Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945

9. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"

~ George Custer, 1877

8. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that."

~ Albert Einstein, 1938.

7. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!"

~ Picasso, 1926

6. "How the @#$% did you work that out?

~ Pythagoras,

5. "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?

~ Michelangelo, 156

4. "Where the @#$% are we?"

~ Amelia Earhart, 1937

3. "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!"

~ Noah, 4314 BC

2. "Aw come on Monica. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"

~ Bill Clinton, 1998

"AND THE WINNER IS ......

1. "There is no @#$%ing way Trump will ever become President"

~ Hillary Clinton 2016

[sodpoodle]

Cinderella is now 95 years old.

After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.

One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother.

Cinderella said, 'Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years'?

The fairy godmother replied, 'Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?'

Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish:

'The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor.

I'm living hand to mouth on my disability cheques, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension.

Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold.

Cinderella said, 'Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother'

The fairy godmother replied, 'It is the least that I can do.

What do you want for your second wish?'

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, 'I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had.'

At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years.

And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: 'You have one more wish; what shall it be?'

Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, 'I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man.'

Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen. The fairy godmother said, 'Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life.'

With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.

For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes.

Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.

Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, & held her close in his young muscular arms.

He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered...

'Bet you're sorry now that you cut my nuts off'

[bk1000]

Thanks for the laugh on this gloomy day!

[Grampa Dave]

Great ****ing list!

[AFreeBird]

😜

[dfwgator]

"Nice ****ing game!"

[Larry Lucido]

'Bet you're sorry now that you cut my nuts off'

And he has a sandpaper tongue.

[alfa6]

Bravo Zulu!

Regards

alfa6

[DaveA37]

I'm going to "VENT" about this topic so here goes. Sorry if it offends you but it is my opinion. Yes, times have changed and not necessarily for the better I might add. With that said, Why is it acceptable to include vulgarity, particularly the “F” word, into the English language? Growing up in a time where using such words was (and still should be) unacceptable, had we used such words we would have tasted the bar soap quickly. I have been married to the same woman for 58 years and have NEVER used that word anywhere near her, NEVER, nor do I use it at all! People should be and often times are "judged" by the way they speak. Using profanity to put emphasis on what one says is nothing more than a "crutch". It also says a lot about the character of the individual using such words. Listening to the youth of today, I would be ashamed if my child used such profanity. Yes, I am old fashioned!

[SamAdams76]

Well, even though profanity is much more common, people are still judged on how they speak. They may not know it but they are.

Those that consistently lace profanity into everyday speech are limited in the kind of work they can get, do not get invited to certain events, are denied promotions in the workplace they might otherwise qualify for, etc. I can go on and on. But yes, those people are judged and they have put limits on their lives as a result of their choice.

[dfwgator]

“That’s one of those ‘Sentence Enhancers’....”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H32az4X443A

[leaning conservative]

; )

[Falconspeed]

Agree 100%. “It also says a lot about the character of the individual using such words.” Cuss words have no place with responsible people.

By the way, Carol Burnett’s Cinderella is funny and very 1970’s hippy.
https://youtu.be/sYFprizVGh0

[Tax-chick]

Cuss words have no place with responsible people.

Cusswords! Dirtybaskets!
Flying fish! Pancreatic cancer!
Intercontinental ballistic missiles! Blithering bombardier beetles!
Tango duels! Helvetica Prime!

[bravo whiskey]

“ooooohhhhh I hate that f#*@ing rabbit.” Yosemite Sam.

[RooRoobird20]

LMAO I love this list!!!!!!

[alfa6]

Meh

[Monkey Face]

I was taught, and still believe, that “profanity is the last resort of the verbally incompetent.”

‘Face

[Monkey Face]

Cusswords and shuckydarn!
Cheese and crackers got all muddy!
Summer ditch and dirty basket!

[Tax-chick]

Flibbertygibbets! Carburetor!

[Monkey Face]

Ain’t cusswords fun? :o])