Posted on 01/19/2018 3:40:56 PM PST by ExGeeEye
My 8 year old cousin is sitting across the living room from me, playing a game on a tablet which apparently involve animated balls going through a maze of some sort. He's mildly autistic, and comments to himself on the game's progress, usually unintelligibly.
He just said...
"Oh no, my balls are trapped!"
[Name changed to protect the truly innocent]
I hate it when that happens!
My step daughter was talking to a gentleman about her “grandfather getting a coyote.” This man thought she meant he got one as a pet so he asked her, “Oh really! Wow! What is he like? Is he nice?” To which she answers, “I don’t know; he shot him in the head.”
Gotta love ranch kids.
and (presumably) he’s not even married yet
“Oh no, my balls are trapped!”
Must be married
My sister in law said, kids, not a worry in the world, and my daughter age 4 said “I am only worried daddy will meet someone nice and move away” her mother did not laugh as loud as I did.
Years ago a friend’s five year old came running in the house after seeing the neighbor’s German shepherd puppy and exclaimed: “Dad! They got a Chinese Leopard!!”
LOL
There was a Mom with her young Son sitting in the seats in front of me on an airliner. They were enjoying a roll from the Cinnabon in the airport.
“Mom”, the little guy said, “I’m stinky.”
She started to wipe his hands with a napkin.
“No, Dear”, she said, “you’re sticky.....sticky.”
I said, “Believe him lady, he’s stinky!”
She held him in front of her and took a whiff and ran him to the bathroom.
The same kid, when she was 10 or 11, was playing water polo. The goalie got poked in the eye and was bleeding. My little homeschooler swims over to me and says, “It’s just like Gloucester in King Lear.” You gotta love a kid that makes a Shakespearean reference.
THAT is really funny....I bet she got a dirty look tho’....
My three year old granddaughter came into the bathroom while I was in the tub. She sat on the pottie and said, “Nana, I hope I have long boobies like yours when I get big”.
Words fail me.
.
We were out to dinner once when my youngest was around 5, and he held the door open for me. A very old gentleman saw this and said to him “someone taught you very nice manners.” Without missing a beat, the 5 year old says “that’s nothing. My grandpa taught me how to make the world’s best bloody mary. I make everyone lots of bloody marys.” He had watched my father make one and wanted one for himself, so dad had taught him how to make virgin marys.
Those look pretty good——I haven’t had one for 35 years or so.
.
My niece got her mail out of her mailbox. Her kids and some of their little friends were nearby on the porch. One of the items in the mailbox was an ad that supposedly contained free airline tickets. “I’m going to throw these out,” my niece said in disgust. “This is bogus!” “Oh, don’t throw them out,” a little girl pleaded. “Give them to me. I’ve never been to Bogus!”
You should have warned him about Hillary’s lock box.
My niece, after the 2000 election was finally decided, asked, “What happens to Mr. Gore now?”
“Well, he goes home and goes on with his life.”
“He doesn’t get a certificate that says ‘Thank You for Participating’?”
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