Share your favorite military story(ies)

[MNDude]

I know that a large number of Freepers here are former military.

Nobody has better or funnier stories about life than those recalling their military experience--especially Basic Training!

I remember Reader's Digest used to have a monthly section that allowed readers to share their humorous military experiences.

Is you were ever in the military, share your favorite story here!

[Professional]

A client of mine was in Artillery (spotter/truck) during WW2, Africa then Italy. Shortly before the war ended, he spotted the German Mechanized troops in an Italian town, he called in a massive bombardment upon them, and the town they were hiding in. The townsfolk were devastated, they wept...the city had been there for a 1000 years and now was rubble. When he told me the story, 2 x over the years, tears would flow down his face. He died about 2 yrs ago at the age of 95. He was an awesome guy!

I’m an investment adviser and I’ve had the pleasure of working for many combat veterans.

[JBW1949]

Boot camp...I wa the company guide-on...Carried the company flag...Front row 1st column...
We were marching one day about a week before graduation and a band was practicing up the field from us...I was watching them...

I thought we had not made any maneuvers in a while so I glanced to my left...

No one was there!!!!!

I turned and looked back and the company was standing at attention about 15 yards behind me and the DI was standing there with his hands on his hips...

I ran back and got into formation and he came eye to eye with me and said, “Well!!!! Mr. Wise likes to march!!!! Let’s let him march!!!”

He had the company fall out in the shade and marched me around in about a 5 yards square...Left! Right! Right! Left!

Everyone started laughing...Even the DI and I started laughing and he stopped then...

If it hadn’t been close to graduation, I believe it would’ve been worse....

[jonsie]

As an army recruit at Fort McClellan in Alabama in 1973, we were cleaning out the female officer barracks before they arrived. After working half a day removing old furniture, we were all exhausted. The drill sergeant arrived asking if any of us could drive, of course we all raised our hands thinking we could get out of the grueling assignment. The drill sergeant smiled, and pointed you, you, and you (me) take these mops and drive them down this hallway. Before I went to basic training my dad said to never volunteer, I wish I had listened to him, lesson learned.

[TexasGator]

Sorry. This is a family site ..,

[Meadow Muffin]

Back in 1964 in Marine Corps Boot Camp at Parris Island, it was frowned upon to miss ANY day of training. We had been there almost two weeks and one of the Recruits approached the Drill Instructor and told him that he had not been able to take a crap in two weeks. Now imagine that he was yelling this at the top of his lungs. The DI told him to get his bottle of laundry detergent...he gave him about half a cup.... from that day on he was the only recruit that did not have to ask permission to make a head call...

[Doogle]

I can’t I’d be banned...*smiles*

[Hulka]

Officer Training School. . .Saturday morning inspection. At attention outside our rooms.

Inspecting colonel was eyeing all trainees and marched up to the guy from the next room over and the colonel leaned forward and looked at the trainees shoes and said; “That shine looks like $hi#” whereupon the trainee replied; “Its only your reflection, sir!”

The trainee was gone by that afternoon.

[looois]

In 1961, Air Force gave three choices as to which overseas location I wanted. My three choices were Japan, Japan, and Japan. So, I chose Japan. They sent me to Korea.

[ImaGraftedBranch]

Mine was Florida, Florida, Florida, Florida, Florida. They sent me to Japan.

[Darksheare]

“Uh, you 13 Bravos just started a brush fire in the impact zone.” -Fort Drum range control
Well, have us do airburst fire for effect on it. -Us
“That won’t work!” -Range control
Try it. -Us
*Boom*
“Well whaddya know, the fire is out.” -Range Control, surprised that the method used to put out oil well fires worked.

[Savage Beast]

Your Dad was right:

"Never volunteer for anything."
"Always bring something to read."
"Hurry up and wait."

[raybbr]

“””Boot camp...I wa the company guide-on..”””

That should be “guidon”. ;¢}

[Mac n Jac]

FTX at the Yakima Training Center WA. Some poor schmuck had his wife send him fried chicken in the mail and ate it. Of course it hit him in the middle of the night in the middle of no where and he had to be medivac’d. Not funny for him but hilarious for us.

Oh, and the Pentagon twit that got busted stealing license plates? I was his driver at Ft Lewis. What a Putz.

[JBW1949]

OK...wa should also be “was”...:^)

[OldGoatCPO]

Marine Corps Boot Camp 1975, we had just finished our lectures on Homosexuals and Racism. Neither were tolerated by the Corps back then. We were in the classroom, (front of the squad bay) getting another lecture on some mundane thing by our Drill Instructor. Private White (who was black) was talking and the DI told him to shut-up. White looks straight at the DI and said “NO”, the DI calm as can be asked what he meant by no? White said "my father taught me to never take orders from a honky." (remember the racism lecture we just had) Still calm the DI asked what about the Platoon Commander SSgt Pruitt (he was black). Pvt White loudly proclaimed that SSgt Pruitt was a "Oreo cookie, black on the outside and white on the inside." There was an audible gasp, SSgt Pruitt was nobody to mess with. The DI calmly asked White to please wait in the duty hut. The DI got on the phone and began calling every Black DI in the 1st Battalion. About this time SSgt Pruitt walks in, as if on cue the entire room started laughing, SSgt Pruitt looks around “it better be funny ladies.” He went in the duty hut and we heard him yell “you called me a what?” He stuck his head out the door smiled and said “it's funny ladies, now field day the barracks.” For over an hour black DI’s kept coming in and taking turns thrashing White. Pvt White walked out of that duty hut in shock, he spent the rest of the day shining his boots and shoes in a daze.
Backstory: After graduation we found out Pvt White had been given a choice by a judge in Oakland or San Fran, prison or the Marine Corps. Seems White was a pimp by trade. White thought if the Marine Corps kicked him out, he would be a free man. The Corps kept him for six months had him turning cement Quonset hut foundations back into sand. To White's surprise when the Marine Corps kicked him out, Sheriffs were waiting for him and took back to the see the judge. SSgt Pruitt said he went to prison where he belonged. You should hear the story about the three Privates who the very next day claimed to be gay. I was cleaning the duty hut at the time, it was hilarious, but I cannot related what was said on here.

[Savage Beast]

At boot camp, in central Texas, in July, we had to play war games.

One day they scattered us across the arid countryside and told us to find our way back to headquarters without getting captured. Superior officers were riding around in jeeps capturing everyone they saw.

I heard a jeep coming and a man's voice shout: "There's one!"

I ducked behind a tree.

The jeep, full of men, drove all the way around the tree, but I shuffled around it just fast enough to keep the tree always between them and me.

When they had completely circumnavigated the tree, I heard a man's voice say: "I thought I saw one. Must not have been," and the jeep drove off.

They never did capture me.

I made it back unscathed.

[Savage Beast]

LOL!

[Bringbackthedraft]

“Can any of you recruits drive a truck?” OK, so what comes to your mind? Yeah, you’ll drive one of those deuce point 5’s to the ranges. So we volunteered. They loaded us on the back of the truck, drove us to a train depot. In most of our minds, it seemed like we were going to drive new trucks back. When we arrived, we were told to unload 3-4 rail cars of lumber to bring back to the post. That was the last time I volunteered as an EM. OH there was another time, when the Bn. CO asked for an artist, that one was worth volunteering for. I missed a few days of marches to the ranges, and never got to throw a grenade.

[ex-snook]

Well when we first started training [1944] the DI yelled at the crowd of us: “We’re going to police the area”. “All you college grads step over here, all you HS grads get over there”. “All you college guys pick up the cigarettes, all you HS guys pick up the matches and all you other dumb bastards stand around and learn how.”