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How to Win at Marriage Counseling
New York Magazine ^ | April 1, 2016 | Mandy Stadtmiller

Posted on 04/02/2016 5:26:52 PM PDT by nickcarraway

click here to read article


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To: nickcarraway

Somebody tell me again why they got married?


21 posted on 04/02/2016 6:36:51 PM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped)
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To: Georgia Girl 2
Somebody tell me again why they got married?

Well duh. LOVE.

Just joking. She said he makes her laugh.

22 posted on 04/02/2016 6:41:15 PM PDT by disndat
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To: disndat

Well he’s a comedian right? He probably makes everybody laugh. She’s wondering if they will celebrate their 2nd anniversary. Can you say poor match? LOL!


23 posted on 04/02/2016 6:55:12 PM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped)
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To: nickcarraway

Some things just need to be spoken about out loud to someone other than your dearly beloved spouse.
Preferably not recorded.
It’s called venting and/or ranting. It’s healthy and human.

Usually it’s best to do so with a loving mother, sister or that one single lifelong 100% loyal best friend, who instantly “forgets” whatever you say in anger, and never, ever brings it up again.
Ever.

Or you could pay someone...


24 posted on 04/02/2016 6:57:14 PM PDT by sarasmom (I pray for Trump's success in his endeavor to salvage the USA .)
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To: Georgia Girl 2

The first two years is always the hardest. So I’ve heard. Going on 30 years here and I really couldn’t tell you which ONE was easy. :-))


25 posted on 04/02/2016 7:00:58 PM PDT by disndat
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To: nickcarraway

Perhaps the most important factor when (if) you choose a marriage counselor is to pick one who has been married a long, long time and never been divorced!

My first ex-wife picked a counselor who had been married three times!

Ask me how that worked out!


26 posted on 04/02/2016 7:03:59 PM PDT by Taxman ((H. L. Mencken correctly observed: Government is actually the worst failure of civilized man.))
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To: nickcarraway
That’s the absolute key to victory over your spouse in marriage counseling:

That's a big part of her problem right there.

27 posted on 04/02/2016 7:04:40 PM PDT by SunTzuWu
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To: disndat

Honestly Mr. GG2 and I are almost 10years and we have never had a big fight. We are just compatible and we get along. I was married before a long long time ago and it was really a bad match. I stayed single for 22 years before I met Mr. GG2. I would be lost without him. :-)


28 posted on 04/02/2016 7:06:42 PM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped)
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To: Georgia Girl 2

My wife says she would be totally lost without me. Easy enough to believe. She acts about half lost now. :-)


29 posted on 04/02/2016 7:13:25 PM PDT by disndat
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To: JohnBrowdie
that chick must be hotter than lava, because she’s a hot mess.

Here's the truth: ALL WOMEN ARE A HOT MESS. Every single one.

Any wrong that's ever been done to them during their life up to the point they've met and married us, becomes OURS to bear the burden of once we marry them. And then, any wrong WE do to them becomes ours too.

Do something wrong to a woman ONE TIME, and ten years later it's "you always do that!"

Every single husband reading these words KNOWS what I'm saying here is true. I've been married 30 years to the same woman and I'm here to tell you that marriage is HARD. Anyone who thinks "love is enough" to get them through marriage is kidding themselves. Seriously kidding themselves.

While some will perceive the above words as "knocking women" I'll also say that we poor men aren't any better. Frankly, it's a miracle the female of our species has anything to do with us because frankly speaking, left to our own devices, we men just don't do well on our own.

There are a number of books I've read over the years that I wish I had read 30 years ago, as they'd have prepped me for marriage far better than I was.

The first: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

Second, The Five Love Languages.

Third, The Five Languages of Apology.

Fourth, The Search for Significance

Fifth, Love and War.

And yes, daily reading from the Bible for the wisdom on dealing with life and God's other children (including your wife) is a must.

30 posted on 04/02/2016 7:18:07 PM PDT by usconservative (When The Ballot Box No Longer Counts, The Ammunition Box Does. (What's In Your Ammo Box?))
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To: Secret Agent Man

A side effect of the welfare state is there are now millions of people out there with IQs less than man’s best friend. It wouldn’t take much to breed a race of people meant for second marriages that have loyalty, obedience, cheerfulness, are able to understand a vocabulary of 200 words but do not speak.


31 posted on 04/02/2016 7:18:43 PM PDT by Reeses (A journey of a thousand miles begins with a government pat down.)
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To: Arlis
It’s the place to learn to die to self and lay down your life for another - and learn what it is to love another more than self.

To a very large degree, true. The other point of marriage is for each spouse to encourage and enrich the other on their journey through life, to God.

32 posted on 04/02/2016 7:21:06 PM PDT by usconservative (When The Ballot Box No Longer Counts, The Ammunition Box Does. (What's In Your Ammo Box?))
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To: MrEdd
The secret for a woman is to keep his stomach full and his b*lls empty; stay thin; and no drama.

The secret for a man is to tease the **** out of her, and then **** the tease out of her. Don't listen to what women say, watch what they do.

33 posted on 04/02/2016 7:21:35 PM PDT by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: usconservative

Empathy and strategic thinking. You may be right, but do you have to be right at this moment? Take a deep breath and shut up if you have to, especially if you are a woman.


34 posted on 04/02/2016 7:25:14 PM PDT by binreadin
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To: grey_whiskers

Exactly


35 posted on 04/02/2016 7:28:51 PM PDT by wyowolf (Be ware when the preachers take over the Republican party...)
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To: disndat

Its good to be needed. :-)


36 posted on 04/02/2016 7:35:23 PM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped)
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To: nickcarraway

Maybe Cognitive Behavioral Therapy would help either or both of them.


37 posted on 04/02/2016 7:35:54 PM PDT by Tax-chick ("The world is full of wonder, but you see it only if you look." ~NicknamedBob)
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To: nickcarraway

Mandy is self absorbed and needs to grow up. These types never do well with marriage or children. She’s in constant competition with her husband. She’s even mad that he’s better at therapy than she is. Females and males shouldn’t be in constant competition trying to prove who’s better at everything than the other is.


38 posted on 04/02/2016 7:37:00 PM PDT by Trillian
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To: nickcarraway
This is possibly the saddest article I have read today.

Are my husband and I so odd?

So she left the fried chicken out.

Big deal.

You toss it in the trash and say you are sorry that you forgot.

It is over.

He needed to be "Heard"? He was "Angry"? Over chicken remains?

I think I have spotted their problem. They are both too up tight.

Perfection is not possible. Love, forgiveness and shutting up about the little things are.

And 99% of life is just little things.

To quote Elsa "Let it Go!"

39 posted on 04/02/2016 7:37:24 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (Proud Infidel, Gun Nut, Religious Fanatic and Freedom Fiend)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

If you and your spouse can say, “It’s us against a universe full of entropy!” you win. If anything sets you against one another, you lose.


40 posted on 04/02/2016 7:41:40 PM PDT by Tax-chick ("The world is full of wonder, but you see it only if you look." ~NicknamedBob)
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