Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

In a chaotic scene, surrounded by media and fans, A-Rod decided that he had no choice but to come clean and tell all. "I've struggled with my sexuality for some time. For many years, I thought I might be gay. Post game showers with my teammates were becoming more and more difficult. But then, one night, after we'd checked into our hotel room after a long flight , I couldn't sleep, and was watching an episode of "Glee," it suddenly hit me. I'm not gay. I'm transgendered..a woman trapped in a man's body...a switch-hitting catcher. I mean, look at me, I'm beautiful..this face, these hips, this ass...I'm starting to get itty bitty titties..you can just see them under my tee-shirt...and my face is so very smooth. .and the way I sashay around the bases. THIS is in fact who I am."

"But I wasn't brave enough to come out. It's still too hard for professional athletes, in all sports. So I struggled with it. Two years ago, through my cousin, I met Tony Bosch. We became very good friends, and I confided in him. He told me that he could supply me with all the pre-op medications, and arrange for the surgery to be done after the season at a clinic in Brazil."

"That's what all the secrecy was about..why he came to my house, the emails, the phone calls, the cash payments. Bosch told me that he was in fact supplying PEDS to many ballplayers, and I realized that this could be a perfect cover..everyone would think I was juicing, and not that I was taking hormone treatments."

"So now, to avoid the suspension, and the loss of a lot of money, I have to come clean. And if the Yankees and MLB don't stop this..drop all the charges, then I'm going to sue them for sexual harassment. The law's on my side..that's what my attorneys tell me. I have rights. If they don't stop, it could even be a hate crime."

A-Rod was asked what his plans were..would he now in fact go ahead with the surgery?

"Of course, I'm so ready for this. And yes, I plan to come back for spring training and play with the Yankees. I haven't decided if I'm going to be known as Alexis, or Alexa, but I'll have to find something to replace 'A-Rod.' Maybe I'll ask my fans to Tweet me their suggestions."

"There's one more good thing that has come out of my having tell all of this now. I was originally going to ave the surgery in secret, then show up in March at Tampa, and ask the Yankees to install a private bathroom and shower for me. But now, since everyone knows in advance....well...you know know some guy paid $2.6 million for Mark McGwire's 70th home run ball? Well, how much do you think they'll pay for a PAIR of A-Rod's balls?"

1 posted on 08/02/2013 3:59:37 PM PDT by ken5050
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies ]


To: maggief; Reaganite Republican

Enjoy!!!


2 posted on 08/02/2013 4:00:09 PM PDT by ken5050 (My tagline is on summer break..)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: ken5050
I'm listening

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
4 posted on 08/02/2013 4:01:54 PM PDT by cripplecreek (REMEMBER THE RIVER RAISIN!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: ken5050

5 posted on 08/02/2013 4:02:45 PM PDT by skeeter
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: ken5050

from A-Rod to A-Hole.......

works for me.


6 posted on 08/02/2013 4:02:48 PM PDT by GotMojo
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: ken5050
That explains a lot


7 posted on 08/02/2013 4:03:07 PM PDT by dfwgator
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: ken5050

Is A-Rod the most hated person who ever played the game? I say yes, even more so than Ty Cobb.


8 posted on 08/02/2013 4:04:51 PM PDT by dfwgator
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: ken5050

Come on now,keep this crap out’ah here


10 posted on 08/02/2013 4:06:11 PM PDT by CGASMIA68
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: ken5050

If I were baseball, I’d offer to pay for the surgery and find a doctor real quick to start hormone therapy, just to see if A-Rodctakes it up.


11 posted on 08/02/2013 4:07:45 PM PDT by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: ken5050

heh...he should try it.


13 posted on 08/02/2013 4:09:22 PM PDT by Irenic (The pencil sharpener and Elmer's glue is put away-- we've lost the red wheel barrow)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: ken5050

Nice, excellent parody.
BUT
In these times of BO and such a story as below is not only believable but probably true.
Remember we have a pResident that took the time to call the basketball player because he ‘fessed up’ that he was really playing for the ‘other’ team.
Not to worry that he is in his 30’s, was ‘13th’ man on a 12 man squad and probably would have been playing for ‘peanuts’ this year anyway - IF HE PLAYED.

Good line about what an idiot would (probably) pay for his balls......


14 posted on 08/02/2013 4:10:45 PM PDT by xrmusn (6/98 --Inside every 'older' man there is a 'younger' man wondering "WTF happened")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: ken5050

18 posted on 08/02/2013 4:20:56 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: ken5050

And he’s changing his name to “No-Rod.”


20 posted on 08/02/2013 4:24:55 PM PDT by Doomonyou (Let them eat Lead.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: ken5050

Of course he’s a transgender, he’s a f&cking Yankee!


36 posted on 08/02/2013 4:56:00 PM PDT by tatown ("So a Hispanic shoots a black and is acquited by women, but it's still white men's fault.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: ken5050

Ken...I love you as a son....


38 posted on 08/02/2013 4:59:27 PM PDT by Cyber Liberty (Justice for Trayvon: Dig up his body and shoot him again.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: ken5050

Anyone want an A-Rod jersey?


39 posted on 08/02/2013 5:10:00 PM PDT by detch
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

To: ken5050

Is this sh!t satire?


50 posted on 08/03/2013 5:54:33 AM PDT by nomad
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article


FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson