"But I wasn't brave enough to come out. It's still too hard for professional athletes, in all sports. So I struggled with it. Two years ago, through my cousin, I met Tony Bosch. We became very good friends, and I confided in him. He told me that he could supply me with all the pre-op medications, and arrange for the surgery to be done after the season at a clinic in Brazil."
"That's what all the secrecy was about..why he came to my house, the emails, the phone calls, the cash payments. Bosch told me that he was in fact supplying PEDS to many ballplayers, and I realized that this could be a perfect cover..everyone would think I was juicing, and not that I was taking hormone treatments."
"So now, to avoid the suspension, and the loss of a lot of money, I have to come clean. And if the Yankees and MLB don't stop this..drop all the charges, then I'm going to sue them for sexual harassment. The law's on my side..that's what my attorneys tell me. I have rights. If they don't stop, it could even be a hate crime."
A-Rod was asked what his plans were..would he now in fact go ahead with the surgery?
"Of course, I'm so ready for this. And yes, I plan to come back for spring training and play with the Yankees. I haven't decided if I'm going to be known as Alexis, or Alexa, but I'll have to find something to replace 'A-Rod.' Maybe I'll ask my fans to Tweet me their suggestions."
"There's one more good thing that has come out of my having tell all of this now. I was originally going to ave the surgery in secret, then show up in March at Tampa, and ask the Yankees to install a private bathroom and shower for me. But now, since everyone knows in advance....well...you know know some guy paid $2.6 million for Mark McGwire's 70th home run ball? Well, how much do you think they'll pay for a PAIR of A-Rod's balls?"
from A-Rod to A-Hole.......
works for me.
Is A-Rod the most hated person who ever played the game? I say yes, even more so than Ty Cobb.
Come on now,keep this crap out’ah here
If I were baseball, I’d offer to pay for the surgery and find a doctor real quick to start hormone therapy, just to see if A-Rodctakes it up.
heh...he should try it.
Nice, excellent parody.
In these times of BO and such a story as below is not only believable but probably true.
Remember we have a pResident that took the time to call the basketball player because he ‘fessed up’ that he was really playing for the ‘other’ team.
Not to worry that he is in his 30’s, was ‘13th’ man on a 12 man squad and probably would have been playing for ‘peanuts’ this year anyway - IF HE PLAYED.
Good line about what an idiot would (probably) pay for his balls......
And he’s changing his name to “No-Rod.”
Of course he’s a transgender, he’s a f&cking Yankee!
Ken...I love you as a son....
Anyone want an A-Rod jersey?
Is this sh!t satire?