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Missouri Rancher Discovers Three Mutilated Cows; UFO Group Investigating Alien Theory
riverfronttimes ^ | Wed., Jul. 31 2013 | Jessica Lussenhop

Posted on 07/31/2013 11:21:33 AM PDT by JoeProBono

Lyn Mitchell, a Missouri rancher living about 80 miles from Kansas City, has reported three cow deaths on her property. That wouldn't be unusual were it not for the state the carcasses were found in.

The most recent cow was discovered in the field, her tongue removed, her teats cut off, her heart removed and dangling outside of her body. When the rancher moved her, there was a strange, char-like pattern in the dead grass.

What does all this mean? One theory: alien experimentation.

Mitchell told news station KSHB that she's open to the possibility that these bizarre surgeries were performed by aliens who touched down on her property. Daily RFT would like to posit a slightly more plausible but equally worrisome solution: A total freaking psycho is loose in Henry County and he/she is now the proud owner of cow cadaver anus, udder, tongue and teats and doing who knows what with them.

To that end, we put in a call to the Henry County sheriff's department to find out what they have in terms of human leads -- we'll update if we hear back.


TOPICS: Outdoors; Pets/Animals; UFO's; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: aliens; extraterrestrials; missouri; realones
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To: JoeProBono

When animals die OTHER animals come and eat the softest parts first... which happen to be (can anyone guess?)


21 posted on 07/31/2013 11:53:00 AM PDT by Mr. K (Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics, and then Democrat Talking Points.)
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To: TigersEye

But I’d fly a trillion parsecs at sub-warp speed for a Kansas cow anus!


22 posted on 07/31/2013 11:54:30 AM PDT by Mr. K (Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics, and then Democrat Talking Points.)
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To: JoeProBono

It sounds to me like there is someone crazier than a s***house rat loose out there-

Maybe they ought to stop worrying about space aliens and set out some camera traps to catch someone who could be a wannabe serial killer...


23 posted on 07/31/2013 11:55:34 AM PDT by Texan5 ("You've got to saddle up your boys, you've got to draw a hard line"...)
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To: Jeff Winston


24 posted on 07/31/2013 11:55:59 AM PDT by JoeProBono (Mille vocibus imago valet;-{)
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To: JoeProBono
Joe, in other news, women at Merrill Lynch were ordered to seduce their way to the top.
25 posted on 07/31/2013 11:59:56 AM PDT by no-to-illegals (Scrutinize our government and Secure the Blessing of Freedom and Justice)
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To: JoeProBono
What does all this mean?

Three cows are dead.

26 posted on 07/31/2013 12:00:11 PM PDT by Moltke (Sapere aude!)
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To: JoeProBono

It’s time we all stopped looking the other way on this, and stop placing the blame where it doesn’t belong. It’s not some lone nut-job. It’s not aliens. We need to address the issue of Cow-on-Cow violence in this country.


27 posted on 07/31/2013 12:01:45 PM PDT by GreenHornet
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To: Mr. K
But I’d fly a trillion parsecs at sub-warp speed for a Kansas cow anus!

 photo Jed-Clampett-Smiles.jpg

That's the great thing about cow anus, it's just as good the second day.
28 posted on 07/31/2013 12:02:15 PM PDT by ZX12R (Never forget the heroes of Benghazi, who were abandoned to their deaths by Obama)
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To: Mr. K
When animals die OTHER animals come and eat the softest parts first... which happen to be (can anyone guess?)

The vet said that there was no blood on the ground, the cuts were precise, and that the heart and chest cavity had little blood in them, which was very unusual and unexplainable. He vet also said that he knew animals did not cause the wounds. He looked for bullet holes or other injuries to the cow but could find none, and he does not know the cause of death.

You would think veterinarians and cattle ranchers would know better wouldn't you?

29 posted on 07/31/2013 12:03:33 PM PDT by TigersEye ("No man left behind" is more than an Army Ranger credo it's the character of America.)
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To: JoeProBono

http://www.cowabduction.com/


30 posted on 07/31/2013 12:03:58 PM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: JoeProBono

Chickens getting back at the Chick-fil-a cows?


31 posted on 07/31/2013 12:07:02 PM PDT by Resolute Conservative
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To: JoeProBono; All

In 1985, I found a dog that had been strangely mutilated when I was out riding my 3 wheeler by UTSA. In hindsight, it was similar in appearance to a Rhodesian Ridgeback. It’s body was fully intact (as far as I could tell, visually. I didn’t touch it or get off my ATV- a couple of feet away), but it was as if it had been split from it’s chest (or maybe it’s neck- I don’t know) to between it’s hind legs (it was lying on it’s side with it’s legs outstretched as dogs do. But as if relaxed, not in rigor). There was no blood or other trauma & it had been untouched by coyotes. On that side, at least, it hadn’t decomposed at all or else it was very recent. What was strange was that the “edges” of the opening were like it had healed (animals that color scar kind of blackish & very smooth) or maybe had been cauterized? The poor thing had a snarl frozen on it’s face.
It’s body was well off of the road (both 1604 & Hausman Road) & with it’s back lying up against a barbed wire fence.

I went & got my mom & we then called Wildlife Rescue. I don’t recall if they actually went out to look at it or not.
I sold my 3 wheeler a few months later.

I don’t see how satanists could do something like I saw unless they happened to be persons (& I use this term with profound generosity) who have access to very sophisticated & portable equipment.


32 posted on 07/31/2013 12:07:04 PM PDT by KGeorge (Till we're together again, Gypsy girl. May 28, 1998- June 3, 2013)
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To: no-to-illegals

33 posted on 07/31/2013 12:13:23 PM PDT by JoeProBono (Mille vocibus imago valet;-{)
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To: JoeProBono

Zoomerman did it.


34 posted on 07/31/2013 12:17:30 PM PDT by bunkerhill7 (("The Second Amendment has no limits on firepower"-NY State Senator Kathleen A. Marchione.))
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To: Gay State Conservative
The cows were mutilated by some whackjob who’s off his meds.

That wacko must really get around. These surgically precise cattle mutilations have been reported across the country for decades.

Not a single wacko has ever been caught in the act, either.

35 posted on 07/31/2013 12:19:25 PM PDT by Windflier (To anger a conservative, tell him a lie. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.)
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To: TigersEye
Moo!

36 posted on 07/31/2013 12:20:12 PM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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To: MrB

Gee ... now I’m part of the problem. Sent some cows on their way.


37 posted on 07/31/2013 12:20:31 PM PDT by no-to-illegals (Scrutinize our government and Secure the Blessing of Freedom and Justice)
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To: Resolute Conservative

38 posted on 07/31/2013 12:21:11 PM PDT by JoeProBono (Mille vocibus imago valet;-{)
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To: no-to-illegals

Therapeutic...


39 posted on 07/31/2013 12:22:56 PM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: ozzymandus

40 posted on 07/31/2013 12:23:12 PM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
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