British politician Simon Parkes speaks out: ‘My lifetime of alien abduction’

metro.us ^ | 6/24/2013 | Kieron Monks

[RoosterRedux]

Simon Parkes, 53, who represents the Labour party in the town council of seaside town Whitby in northern England, is known for his commitment to local issues such as street repairs. He has also been visited by aliens his whole life, including a 3-meter, green mother and a lover he has sex with four times each year.

Q: When were you first conscious of the visits?

A: I was very young, lying in my cot, when I saw these strange arms and this creature was saying “I’m your mother”. During my younger years they would

[RoosterRedux]

Hey...I didn't say I believed him.

[NotYourAverageDhimmi]

Parkes isn’t the only one. America has been abducted by aliens.

[Hardraade]

Socialists.

You know they’re tight with Kang and Kodos.

[a fool in paradise]

Pictures or it didn’t happen.

[2ndDivisionVet]

[mylife]

[Charles Henrickson]

. . . . and a lover he has sex with four times each year.

[mylife]

[TADSLOS]

We’re all alien cat queen sex slaves now...

[mylife]

Alien Sex Fiend~I Walk The Line

[RoosterRedux]

I guess that is why I posted this story.

The whole world has gone nuts.

Alien abduction would be much more understandable than the Liberal Kool-Aid.

Better that America had been abducted by aliens than that they had drunk deeply at the Lib Kool-Aid fountain.

[RoosterRedux]

Gay sex or aliens? Neither!

[ansel12]

If it’s not one thing, it’s another.

[Fai Mao]

Look under the heading Sleep Paralysis in the article at this link

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypnagogic_hallucination

A lot of the Alien Auction stuff is actually this. In previous century’s this would have been called Succubi or Angelic or Demonic visitation

Of course the people that believe in Alien Abduction are not interested in logic or science normally

[xp38]

Alien Auctions? 1000 quatloos on the human!

[A_perfect_lady]

Oh, I was just thinking schizophrenia. But let me check this out!

[A_perfect_lady]

That's cool stuff! I get the auditory ones sometimes. Crashes like someone has hurled a safe into a row of lockers, or like every pot and pan in Gordon Ramsey's kitchen just fell off a shelf. A couple times I've heard my mom's voice say my name.

But that's when pets come in handy. Now if I hear a terrifying noise at night and wake up, I just look to the cats. If they're all still dozing around me, I know it's just me.

[Vermont Lt]

I always believed something was happening. Your explanation makes more sense than theirs. The physics of alien visitation make me a skeptic. It is on helluva a big universe, and it would take ages to get from point A to B.

[GeronL]

is this freak married. Would not this infadelity hurt his career?

[Slings and Arrows]

How much is that in strips of gold-pressed Latinum?