You might ask your parents the same thing. When did they get a break? It’s not the parents nor the children that are the problem. It’s there is no family anymore. Family takes care of each other.
Very true. My dad worked 13 days straight many times up to 12 hour days yet he and one of my uncles kept Grandma's {my Mom's mom} house needed repairs done between the two of them. Both Mom and dad have been there for me through thick and thin. I owe both plenty in many ways.
Dad passed a little over a year ago. One thing he asked of me really the only thing as he knew his time was at hand was to take care of my mom. Mom is 81. I'm not in the best of physical health I'm actually disabled. Ladders are off limits by doctors orders. But I do all I can do to help her. My son in law who can climb ladders helps as does our grandson now in his early teens. They do the roof cleaning etc on her place and mine.
I understand what a full plate is. Mine stays that way. I also understand priorities. I understand the frustration of not being able to keep the house up too the standards some would wish or expect. I understand a person lacking the energy to do so. I'm the cook, housekeeper, driver, nurse, you name in our home.
When dads last weeks were upon him Mom, myself, and my niece, took care of him till his death. A considerable portion I dealt with because I'm a trained caregiver. In the meantime I was also caring for my wife which I've done for 27 years. Then my niece and myself were also taking care of my sister {nieces Mom} who for her safety is in a Memory Care Unit after her husband died suddenly.
My house was last painted outside about 8 years ago. The decks need pressure washed, the driveway needs grading, and repairs need done. Two days ago I finally managed to get the boat dad left me covered for winter which I had been putting off for two months due to other priorities I never took it out this year.
Dad used to jokingly tell me "you do real good for an 80 year old man" LOL. Mom lives down the road in a two story house. Right after Christmas she told me this was her last year hosting Thanksgiving & Christmas dinner which I said I think you made a wise decision. Oh, we had been wanting her to slow down and let us take over but she wouldn't have it. It was her domain and she enjoyed it.
Last summer Mom wanted the carpeting ripped up so I said OK I'll do it. I got three rooms done and she said lets wait till I get new windows put in and I'll have new carpet put in. The floor underneath the carpet was tongue and groove and looked fine so I said OK. The windows are in {professionally installed} no mention of carpeting so far.
I suspect when Mom can't do for herself any longer and needs someone with her we'll be moving in with her for duration. My wife and I discussed it and are OK with it. Or if she wishes she can live with us we have an extra bedroom. Either way she will be taken care of as long as I have the mental and physical ability to do so. The only thing I can't talk her into is getting Hearing Aids :>{
Right now are grandkids are from ages 10-20. I'll be watching them and the one who acts responsible will be given a place to build on so they can help me maintain the place. I do have about 30 acres of land.