John was a salesman’s delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick.
His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.
One day, John came home with another one of his unusual purchases.
It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.
It was just about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late.
‘Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?’, they asked.
‘Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project’ said Tommy.
The Robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.
‘Son, this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you went after school.’
‘We went to Bobby’s house and watched a movie.’
‘What did you watch?’ asked Marsha.
‘The Ten Commandments.’ answered Tommy.
The Robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair.
With lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, ‘I am sorry I lied.
We really watched a tape called Sex Queen.’
‘I’m ashamed of you Son,’ said John. ‘When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.’
The robot then walked around to John and delivered a roundhouse right that nearly knocked him out of his chair.
Marsha was bent double laughing, almost in tears.
‘Boy, did you ever ask for that one! And you can’t be too mad with Tommy. After all, He is your son!’
The Robot immediately walked around to Marsha, and slapped her three times.
A lady tells her husband to go to the store to buy cigarettes. He walks down to the store to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine.
At the bar he sees a beautiful woman & starts talking to her. They have a few beers. One thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.
Later, he wakes up and realizes its 3 AM. He says, “Oh no, its so late, my wife’s going to get really angry. Have you got any talcum powder?” She gives him some powder. He rubs it on his hands and leaves.
At the door, his angry wife asks, “Where the hell have you been?”
“Well, honey, I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking girl there and we had a few drinks. One thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her.”
“Oh yeah? Lemme see your hands!” She sees his hands are covered with powder. “Liar!!! You were playing pool again!!!!”