Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Random Saturday Musings.....
Nov 3, 2012 | By Laz A. Mataz

Posted on 11/03/2012 6:57:06 AM PDT by Lazamataz

Daylight Savings this weekend. We get an extra hour of sleep.

BUT IS THIS ALL IT IS? OR IS THIS A NEFARIOUS PLOT BY THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO DELAY THE ELECTION BY AN HOUR???!??!??!????!???!???!?!



WOW! So, I went to 3rd Street. Warehouse Tire is an empty warehouse. I got mugged, then carjacked.

But like the note said, I'm doing the same to the next total stranger.

Now to make a few Free Republic account adjustments....

Account >> My Preferences >> Obama Loses Election

THERE. Much better.

Confucius say, “Woman who thinks way to man’s heart through his stomach misses the fact that the quickest way to a man's heart is to rip directly through his ribcage with powerful metal-hard jaws, like that Alien in the movie from the same name, which had the extra pair of pneumatically powered jaws on an extendable retractable limb. The Alien also had acid for blood. How do you kill something lik...e that? This thing nearly killed Ripley, who was portrayed by Signorney Weaver. Weaver went on to play in the movie Imaginary Heros, and in this film, which explores the problems encountered by a family after a suicide, was certainly a stellar performance on her part and the gold standard to whihc all actresses now aspire. Though, it is said, even that this may have been her tour-de-force, it still does not mean she knows the proper way to apply a tourniquet and may cause gangrene. While having a gangrenous leg is useful to escape being noticed by zombies (by smell) it is still not that healthy, and may cause you to die. Since everyone is now infected with the zombie virus, you will certainly turn into a zombie yourself, which means if I head-shoot you, I get 50 points and am that much closer to level 12, where I qualify for the RPG launcher, though I'm not sure I have enough QuotaBux to buy one."

Yes, Confucius really said that.

Ceiling cat is watching you devastate.

I have decided that the word PALINDROME should be a palindrome.

Therefore, I feel we should petition congress to change the word to PALINNILAP.

My cat is hungry, she constantly reminds me. But whatever food I put in front of her, she does not want. Then she reminds me she is hungry again.

She is hungry for a type of food that simply does not exist.

And, if I do not get it for her, it will become apparant that I do not love her, and that the terrorists have already won.

I don't want the terrorists to win. So I keep looking for Unobtainiya brand Prime Filets of Jackalope loin. I haven't found any yet.

Well, that was an interesting 4 year experiment. Is the American system SO STRONG that it can even endure a President, Mr. Obama, who hates America and works to destroy it?

America: 1, America-Haters: 0

You've heard of Tavis Smiley? I wrote him this:

If Zombies were made out of bacon, *I* would be chasing *THEM*!

 

We all make choices..... but in the end, our choices make us.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: vanity
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-49 next last
Just some random stuff I've either seen or created, to amuse you a little on this Saturday morning...
1 posted on 11/03/2012 6:57:10 AM PDT by Lazamataz
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: TheOldLady; Cyber Liberty; CatherineofAragon; Slings and Arrows; Responsibility2nd; doorgunner69; ..

Some random, mildly amusing thoughts to help you through the stressful election season.


2 posted on 11/03/2012 7:00:28 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz
Thank You Laz. That was Great stuff!
3 posted on 11/03/2012 7:10:56 AM PDT by no-to-illegals (Please God, Protect and Bless Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz

Thank you, Laz! I laughed and boy... did I need a good laugh today. It is probably just me but I feel very tense and stressed about this election. In my entire life.. I’ve never felt this intense. You’re a doll! Hugs, Mom


4 posted on 11/03/2012 7:12:16 AM PDT by momtothree
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz

5 posted on 11/03/2012 7:20:24 AM PDT by bigheadfred
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: momtothree
did I need a good laugh today. It is probably just me but I feel very tense and stressed about this election. In my entire life.. I’ve never felt this intense.

It's not just you.

Thusly, my post.

You’re a doll! Hugs, Mom

:)

6 posted on 11/03/2012 7:25:03 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: bigheadfred

Ha!


7 posted on 11/03/2012 7:25:40 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: no-to-illegals

Glad you enjoyed!


8 posted on 11/03/2012 7:27:07 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz

Well that’s certainly random. Cheers!


9 posted on 11/03/2012 7:28:46 AM PDT by Lurkina.n.Learnin (Superciliousness is the essence of Obama)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz

When you buy coffee beans, don’t forget to grind them up before you make coffee.

I just thought it was an extra coarse grind...


10 posted on 11/03/2012 7:33:04 AM PDT by GRRRRR (He'll NEVER be my President, FUBO! Treason is the Reason! Impeach the Kenyan)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz
Confucius say . . .

You could bludgeon somebody to death with that fortune cookie. Thanks, Laz.

11 posted on 11/03/2012 7:34:08 AM PDT by Scoutmaster
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lurkina.n.Learnin

Q) How many Ritalin Kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

A) LET’S GO RIDE OUR BIKES!


12 posted on 11/03/2012 7:36:56 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: Scoutmaster

Confucius is wordy.


13 posted on 11/03/2012 7:37:34 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz
Speaking of tourniquets, I always asked at our mandatory first aid classes what did you use in the cast of a traumatic amputation?
14 posted on 11/03/2012 7:39:52 AM PDT by Little Bill (A)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz

Thanks. You have an excellent creative mind... “...And then I remembered I had a pole and...”


15 posted on 11/03/2012 7:40:45 AM PDT by King Moonracer (Bad lighting and cheap fabric, that's how you sell clothing.....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz

"Now I want to make sure you good folks here in . . . here in this state . . .
get yourselves on a proper time schedule, so that you'll be on time to vote
on . . . to vote next week! So remember, tonight, before you go to bed, be
sure to set your clocks one hour . . . forward! FORWARD!"

16 posted on 11/03/2012 7:45:42 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Smirkin' Joe Crazier and the Biden Bounce.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz

Thanks Laz!

We’re going to relieve some of our election stress today by voting. (Last day of in-person early voting in Iowa. Mitt asked us to do it.)


17 posted on 11/03/2012 7:52:42 AM PDT by 2111USMC (aim small, miss small)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

HA! I like it!


18 posted on 11/03/2012 7:53:25 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: King Moonracer

Thank you, kind sir!


19 posted on 11/03/2012 7:54:07 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: Little Bill

So what DO you do in the case of traumatic amputation?


20 posted on 11/03/2012 7:55:07 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-49 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson