Random Saturday Musings.....

Nov 3, 2012 | By Laz A. Mataz

[Lazamataz]

Daylight Savings this weekend. We get an extra hour of sleep.

BUT IS THIS ALL IT IS? OR IS THIS A NEFARIOUS PLOT BY THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO DELAY THE ELECTION BY AN HOUR???!??!??!????!???!???!?!

WOW! So, I went to 3rd Street. Warehouse Tire is an empty warehouse. I got mugged, then carjacked.

But like the note said, I'm doing the same to the next total stranger.

Now to make a few Free Republic account adjustments....

Account >> My Preferences >> Obama Loses Election

THERE. Much better.

Confucius say, “Woman who thinks way to man’s heart through his stomach misses the fact that the quickest way to a man's heart is to rip directly through his ribcage with powerful metal-hard jaws, like that Alien in the movie from the same name, which had the extra pair of pneumatically powered jaws on an extendable retractable limb. The Alien also had acid for blood. How do you kill something lik...e that? This thing nearly killed Ripley, who was portrayed by Signorney Weaver. Weaver went on to play in the movie Imaginary Heros, and in this film, which explores the problems encountered by a family after a suicide, was certainly a stellar performance on her part and the gold standard to whihc all actresses now aspire. Though, it is said, even that this may have been her tour-de-force, it still does not mean she knows the proper way to apply a tourniquet and may cause gangrene. While having a gangrenous leg is useful to escape being noticed by zombies (by smell) it is still not that healthy, and may cause you to die. Since everyone is now infected with the zombie virus, you will certainly turn into a zombie yourself, which means if I head-shoot you, I get 50 points and am that much closer to level 12, where I qualify for the RPG launcher, though I'm not sure I have enough QuotaBux to buy one."

Yes, Confucius really said that.

Ceiling cat is watching you devastate.

I have decided that the word PALINDROME should be a palindrome.

Therefore, I feel we should petition congress to change the word to PALINNILAP.

My cat is hungry, she constantly reminds me. But whatever food I put in front of her, she does not want. Then she reminds me she is hungry again.

She is hungry for a type of food that simply does not exist.

And, if I do not get it for her, it will become apparant that I do not love her, and that the terrorists have already won.

I don't want the terrorists to win. So I keep looking for Unobtainiya brand Prime Filets of Jackalope loin. I haven't found any yet.

Well, that was an interesting 4 year experiment. Is the American system SO STRONG that it can even endure a President, Mr. Obama, who hates America and works to destroy it?

America: 1, America-Haters: 0

You've heard of Tavis Smiley? I wrote him this:

If Zombies were made out of bacon, *I* would be chasing *THEM*!

 

We all make choices..... but in the end, our choices make us.

[Manic_Episode]

FReeping from my deer stand just seems kind of wrong.

[meyer]

Thanks for the ping, Laz!

Heading out now to get me some new tires.... :-)

[Lurkina.n.Learnin]

Aren’t all amputations rather traumatic?

[Little Bill]

Use a tourniquet. Stop the bleeding, treat for shock, people have only so much blood.

[Liberty Valance]

LOL - bttt

[Delta 21]

One day a woman's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't "anymore".

No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more sharing a bottle of wine, no more "just one minute." Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, say "I love you."

So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick.

This is true for marriage.....And old cars... And children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what. Life is important, like people we know who are special.. And so, we keep them close!

Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know how you really feel? The important thing is to let every one of your friends know your true feelings, even if you think they don't love you back.

So, just in case I'm gone tomorrow......

Please vote against that a$$hole Obama!

[Disambiguator]

I’m all for a “Saturday Silliness” thread each week. :^)

[SCalGal]

Perfect for a Saturday morning. Thanks, Laz.

[Lurkina.n.Learnin]

Be PREPARED — supply yourself for the Zombie Apocalypse with Zombie Max™ ammunition from Hornady®! Loaded with PROVEN Z-Max™ bullets...yes PROVEN Z-Max™ bullets (have you seen a Zombie?). Make sure your “bug out bag” is ready with nothing but the best!
WARNING: THIS IS LIVE AMMUNITION. THIS IS NOT A TOY.
Disclaimer: Hornady® Zombie Max™ ammunition is NOT a toy (IT IS LIVE AMMUNITION), but is intended only to be used on...ZOMBIES, also known as the living dead, undead, etc. No human being, plant, animal, vegetable or mineral should ever be shot with Hornady® Zombie Max™ ammunition. Again, we repeat, Hornady® Zombie Max™ ammunition is for use on ZOMBIES ONLY, and that’s not a nickname, phrase or cute way of referring to anybody, place or thing. When we say Zombies, we mean...ZOMBIES!
http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=youtube%20zombie%20max&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CDYQtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DbQWb-5nblx4&ei=XzeVUNvlOsTg2QWt_4DoAg&usg=AFQjCNGyp9FynR9vc4G5k1ydb61XFeFA3w

[Scoutmaster]

So what DO you do in the case of traumatic amputation?

I scream in agony as quickly as I can; timing is important. I've found that once I'm in shock I'm frequently unable to scream.

Laz? Have you ever wondered if we got the Evil Obama and in some parallel universe there's a Good Obama with opposable ears who fights crime?

[ssschev]

Good post Laz
you “Hit It”.

[Donkey Odious]

Tavis Frowny....hahahahaha.

Thanks, Laz!!

[Lazamataz]

Glad you enjoyed! :)

[Lazamataz]

LOL thanks...

[Lazamataz]

Thanks for your kind words!

[luvie]

Well, I feel better now! :)

[doorgunner69]

My youngest cat loves to get my attention, then lead me to whatever it is he wants me to see. It is usually his food bowl with sufficient food in it. I point this out, he eats for a bit.

A while later, he repeats his demand that I come see what he has to show me.

I suspect I am being trained........

[outofsalt]

“So what DO you do in the case of traumatic amputation?”

You’ll need a prosthetic but, they cost an arm and a leg!

[Lazamataz]

Cats are clever.

And evil.

Diabolical, I suppose.

[Lazamataz]

I was told I was to be decapitated.

I just about lost my mind!