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Random Saturday Musings.....
Nov 3, 2012 | By Laz A. Mataz

Posted on 11/03/2012 6:57:06 AM PDT by Lazamataz

Daylight Savings this weekend. We get an extra hour of sleep.

BUT IS THIS ALL IT IS? OR IS THIS A NEFARIOUS PLOT BY THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO DELAY THE ELECTION BY AN HOUR???!??!??!????!???!???!?!



WOW! So, I went to 3rd Street. Warehouse Tire is an empty warehouse. I got mugged, then carjacked.

But like the note said, I'm doing the same to the next total stranger.

Now to make a few Free Republic account adjustments....

Account >> My Preferences >> Obama Loses Election

THERE. Much better.

Confucius say, “Woman who thinks way to man’s heart through his stomach misses the fact that the quickest way to a man's heart is to rip directly through his ribcage with powerful metal-hard jaws, like that Alien in the movie from the same name, which had the extra pair of pneumatically powered jaws on an extendable retractable limb. The Alien also had acid for blood. How do you kill something lik...e that? This thing nearly killed Ripley, who was portrayed by Signorney Weaver. Weaver went on to play in the movie Imaginary Heros, and in this film, which explores the problems encountered by a family after a suicide, was certainly a stellar performance on her part and the gold standard to whihc all actresses now aspire. Though, it is said, even that this may have been her tour-de-force, it still does not mean she knows the proper way to apply a tourniquet and may cause gangrene. While having a gangrenous leg is useful to escape being noticed by zombies (by smell) it is still not that healthy, and may cause you to die. Since everyone is now infected with the zombie virus, you will certainly turn into a zombie yourself, which means if I head-shoot you, I get 50 points and am that much closer to level 12, where I qualify for the RPG launcher, though I'm not sure I have enough QuotaBux to buy one."

Yes, Confucius really said that.

Ceiling cat is watching you devastate.

I have decided that the word PALINDROME should be a palindrome.

Therefore, I feel we should petition congress to change the word to PALINNILAP.

My cat is hungry, she constantly reminds me. But whatever food I put in front of her, she does not want. Then she reminds me she is hungry again.

She is hungry for a type of food that simply does not exist.

And, if I do not get it for her, it will become apparant that I do not love her, and that the terrorists have already won.

I don't want the terrorists to win. So I keep looking for Unobtainiya brand Prime Filets of Jackalope loin. I haven't found any yet.

Well, that was an interesting 4 year experiment. Is the American system SO STRONG that it can even endure a President, Mr. Obama, who hates America and works to destroy it?

America: 1, America-Haters: 0

You've heard of Tavis Smiley? I wrote him this:

If Zombies were made out of bacon, *I* would be chasing *THEM*!

 

We all make choices..... but in the end, our choices make us.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: vanity
Just some random stuff I've either seen or created, to amuse you a little on this Saturday morning...
1 posted on 11/03/2012 6:57:10 AM PDT by Lazamataz
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To: TheOldLady; Cyber Liberty; CatherineofAragon; Slings and Arrows; Responsibility2nd; doorgunner69; ..

Some random, mildly amusing thoughts to help you through the stressful election season.


2 posted on 11/03/2012 7:00:28 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
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To: Lazamataz
Thank You Laz. That was Great stuff!
3 posted on 11/03/2012 7:10:56 AM PDT by no-to-illegals (Please God, Protect and Bless Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
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To: Lazamataz

Thank you, Laz! I laughed and boy... did I need a good laugh today. It is probably just me but I feel very tense and stressed about this election. In my entire life.. I’ve never felt this intense. You’re a doll! Hugs, Mom


4 posted on 11/03/2012 7:12:16 AM PDT by momtothree
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To: Lazamataz

5 posted on 11/03/2012 7:20:24 AM PDT by bigheadfred
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To: momtothree
did I need a good laugh today. It is probably just me but I feel very tense and stressed about this election. In my entire life.. I’ve never felt this intense.

It's not just you.

Thusly, my post.

You’re a doll! Hugs, Mom

:)

6 posted on 11/03/2012 7:25:03 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
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To: bigheadfred

Ha!


7 posted on 11/03/2012 7:25:40 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
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To: no-to-illegals

Glad you enjoyed!


8 posted on 11/03/2012 7:27:07 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
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To: Lazamataz

Well that’s certainly random. Cheers!


9 posted on 11/03/2012 7:28:46 AM PDT by Lurkina.n.Learnin (Superciliousness is the essence of Obama)
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To: Lazamataz

When you buy coffee beans, don’t forget to grind them up before you make coffee.

I just thought it was an extra coarse grind...


10 posted on 11/03/2012 7:33:04 AM PDT by GRRRRR (He'll NEVER be my President, FUBO! Treason is the Reason! Impeach the Kenyan)
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To: Lazamataz
Confucius say . . .

You could bludgeon somebody to death with that fortune cookie. Thanks, Laz.

11 posted on 11/03/2012 7:34:08 AM PDT by Scoutmaster
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To: Lurkina.n.Learnin

Q) How many Ritalin Kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

A) LET’S GO RIDE OUR BIKES!


12 posted on 11/03/2012 7:36:56 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
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To: Scoutmaster

Confucius is wordy.


13 posted on 11/03/2012 7:37:34 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
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To: Lazamataz
Speaking of tourniquets, I always asked at our mandatory first aid classes what did you use in the cast of a traumatic amputation?
14 posted on 11/03/2012 7:39:52 AM PDT by Little Bill (A)
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To: Lazamataz

Thanks. You have an excellent creative mind... “...And then I remembered I had a pole and...”


15 posted on 11/03/2012 7:40:45 AM PDT by King Moonracer (Bad lighting and cheap fabric, that's how you sell clothing.....)
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To: Lazamataz

"Now I want to make sure you good folks here in . . . here in this state . . .
get yourselves on a proper time schedule, so that you'll be on time to vote
on . . . to vote next week! So remember, tonight, before you go to bed, be
sure to set your clocks one hour . . . forward! FORWARD!"

16 posted on 11/03/2012 7:45:42 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Smirkin' Joe Crazier and the Biden Bounce.)
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To: Lazamataz

Thanks Laz!

We’re going to relieve some of our election stress today by voting. (Last day of in-person early voting in Iowa. Mitt asked us to do it.)


17 posted on 11/03/2012 7:52:42 AM PDT by 2111USMC (aim small, miss small)
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To: Charles Henrickson

HA! I like it!


18 posted on 11/03/2012 7:53:25 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
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To: King Moonracer

Thank you, kind sir!


19 posted on 11/03/2012 7:54:07 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
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To: Little Bill

So what DO you do in the case of traumatic amputation?


20 posted on 11/03/2012 7:55:07 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
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To: Lazamataz

FReeping from my deer stand just seems kind of wrong.


21 posted on 11/03/2012 8:08:46 AM PDT by Manic_Episode (Some days...it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps....)
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To: Lazamataz

Thanks for the ping, Laz!

Heading out now to get me some new tires.... :-)


22 posted on 11/03/2012 8:08:52 AM PDT by meyer (Proud member of the 53%.)
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To: Lazamataz

Aren’t all amputations rather traumatic?


23 posted on 11/03/2012 8:10:38 AM PDT by Lurkina.n.Learnin (Superciliousness is the essence of Obama)
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To: Lazamataz

Use a tourniquet. Stop the bleeding, treat for shock, people have only so much blood.


24 posted on 11/03/2012 8:13:14 AM PDT by Little Bill (A)
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To: Lazamataz

LOL - bttt


25 posted on 11/03/2012 8:21:58 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Lazamataz
One day a woman's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't "anymore".

No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more sharing a bottle of wine, no more "just one minute." Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, say "I love you."

So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick.

This is true for marriage.....And old cars... And children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what. Life is important, like people we know who are special.. And so, we keep them close!

Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know how you really feel? The important thing is to let every one of your friends know your true feelings, even if you think they don't love you back.

So, just in case I'm gone tomorrow......

Please vote against that a$$hole Obama!


26 posted on 11/03/2012 8:25:21 AM PDT by Delta 21 (Oh Crap !! Did I say that out loud ??!??)
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To: Lazamataz; Lucky9teen

I’m all for a “Saturday Silliness” thread each week. :^)


27 posted on 11/03/2012 8:34:37 AM PDT by Disambiguator (Re-electing Obama is not optimal.)
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To: Lazamataz

Perfect for a Saturday morning. Thanks, Laz.


28 posted on 11/03/2012 8:50:07 AM PDT by SCalGal (Friends don't let friends donate to H$U$, A$PCA, or PETA.)
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To: Lazamataz

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29 posted on 11/03/2012 8:53:36 AM PDT by Lurkina.n.Learnin (Superciliousness is the essence of Obama)
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To: Lazamataz; Little Bill
So what DO you do in the case of traumatic amputation?

I scream in agony as quickly as I can; timing is important. I've found that once I'm in shock I'm frequently unable to scream.

Laz? Have you ever wondered if we got the Evil Obama and in some parallel universe there's a Good Obama with opposable ears who fights crime?

30 posted on 11/03/2012 8:55:14 AM PDT by Scoutmaster
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To: Lazamataz

Good post Laz
you “Hit It”.


31 posted on 11/03/2012 9:08:23 AM PDT by ssschev (Pick up the can, throw out the trash.)
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To: Lazamataz

Tavis Frowny....hahahahaha.

Thanks, Laz!!


32 posted on 11/03/2012 9:29:31 AM PDT by Donkey Odious
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To: Donkey Odious

Glad you enjoyed! :)


33 posted on 11/03/2012 10:03:22 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
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To: ssschev

LOL thanks...


34 posted on 11/03/2012 10:08:04 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
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To: SCalGal

Thanks for your kind words!


35 posted on 11/03/2012 10:09:49 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
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To: Lazamataz

Well, I feel better now! :)


36 posted on 11/03/2012 10:21:22 AM PDT by LUV W (All my heroes wear camos!)
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To: Lazamataz
My youngest cat loves to get my attention, then lead me to whatever it is he wants me to see. It is usually his food bowl with sufficient food in it. I point this out, he eats for a bit.

A while later, he repeats his demand that I come see what he has to show me.

I suspect I am being trained........

37 posted on 11/03/2012 10:36:02 AM PDT by doorgunner69
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To: Lazamataz

“So what DO you do in the case of traumatic amputation?”

You’ll need a prosthetic but, they cost an arm and a leg!


38 posted on 11/03/2012 10:58:21 AM PDT by outofsalt ("If History teaches us anything it's that history rarely teaches us anything")
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To: doorgunner69
Cats are clever.

And evil.

Diabolical, I suppose.

39 posted on 11/03/2012 11:03:25 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
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To: outofsalt
I was told I was to be decapitated.

I just about lost my mind!

40 posted on 11/03/2012 11:04:30 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
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To: Scoutmaster

You forgot the flopping around, LOL.


41 posted on 11/03/2012 11:46:55 AM PDT by Little Bill (A)
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To: Delta 21

lol brilliant


42 posted on 11/03/2012 12:55:03 PM PDT by visualops (artlife.us)
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To: Lazamataz

Thank you!

You may need to do this again Monday and Tuesday!


43 posted on 11/03/2012 12:56:06 PM PDT by visualops (artlife.us)
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To: Lazamataz

Thank you, my darling! Those were 100% excellent, so thank you for posting them.

Is it okay if I’m amused this afternoon? I was busy this morning.

Today is our 33rd wedding anniversary, and he took me to the jewelers to buy me a ring this morning.

I got sticker shock. Gold costs a lot more than it did the last time we bought a ring. Whew!


44 posted on 11/03/2012 1:07:08 PM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: Charles Henrickson
Hah!

WE'LL show 'em on November 7th !!!


45 posted on 11/03/2012 2:22:48 PM PDT by knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof ... but they're true)
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To: Lazamataz
Some Bass Trombone badassness.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICQ2kOlS9Dg
46 posted on 11/03/2012 3:51:32 PM PDT by real saxophonist
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To: TheOldLady
Glad you enjoyed! Sorry about the sticker shock! I remember getting a 2 ounce pure (23k) gold necklace in Thailand for about 450$ US.

Wow, I wish I still had that.

47 posted on 11/03/2012 6:16:59 PM PDT by Lazamataz (The Pravda Press has gone from 'biased' straight on through to 'utterly bizarre'.)
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To: Lazamataz

Wow. I wish you still had it too. It’s worth $3200 now.


48 posted on 11/03/2012 7:12:52 PM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: Lazamataz

LOLOL! Thank you!


49 posted on 11/03/2012 9:03:18 PM PDT by Alamo-Girl
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