Skip to comments.Fedzilla is demanding I complete a 4-page survey ... about my garden! (vanity)
Posted on 01/06/2012 8:50:18 AM PST by matt1234
Are you ready for the vegetable census? Yesterday I received the 2012 National Agricultural Classification Survey from the US Dept. of Agriculture. It was accompanied by a cover letter stating (in large, bold font) that my response is required by law; and, if I do not reply, I may be personally visited. I am not and have never been a farmer or rancher. My land has never been farmed or ranched. I do, however, have a vegetable garden that I built in 2009. This garden is private and noncommercial. There is no illegal activity whatsoever on my property.
The survey is 4 pages consisting of dozens of questions. Among the pressing concerns of the USDA are the gender and ethnic origin of my operators. (I have none.)
I have no idea how I appeared on the USDAs radar. Possibilities are aerial surveillance or monitoring of seed purchases.
In full disclosure, the survey states that a recipient can opt out of the main portion of the survey if he answers No to the first four questions. However, the way they are written, it seems impossible for a landowner or renter to answer No. For example, one of these questions is Do you own, rent, or operate cropland, pastureland, or land with the potential for agricultural production? Ponder that. Doesnt all land have the potential for agricultural production? If so, a landowner or renter cannot answer No and thereby opt out. (Even a lot covered completely by a building has the potential for agricultural production because you can grow food on the roof or windowsills, or you can tear down the building.) So, the way I read this, if you own or rent land, you cannot opt out. Moreover, according to another of the first four questions, if you own one or more livestock animals, even a chicken or a horse, you cannot opt out.
This survey is patently absurd, in my case as a simple gardener, and in EVERY case, as evidenced by the surveys language described in the preceding paragraph.
Questions to fellow FReepers:
1. Does anyone have experience with this survey?
2. Any suggestions about my course of action?
3. What would John Galt do?
You are correct. Man, I had one hell of a loss last year because of the drought and then there was all of that rain in one month, then the damned wild hogs came in and dug up half of what I had growing. Such damage that I lost berry bushes that had been growing for ten years, probably thousands in damage losses. My tax return is going to show huge losses this year, maybe it looks like.
Can you post a PDF of the questions....so other FReepers can be forewarned of the contents....and can get it widely distributed...thanks.
How does your garden grow? ping.
Did you go to the NASS website, to get more info?
If the penalty is that you ‘may’ be personally visited then just ignore it. You can deal with the visit when and if it happens. Once upon a time I would have thought that the request was to establish a baseline for funding county extension and agricultural services. These days it seems more likely to be an attempt to identify domestic terrorists engaged in unauthorized food production. John Galt wouldn’t have a mailbox; but if he were handed the form, he would shred it to use as mulch on his garden.
Only filled out stuff that was Constitutional...
We live in a “minority-majority” district in my county which is designated by the 196? Voting Rights Act so the color of my skin is pretty important around here.
I didn’t identify race of the occupants here but they sent out a census worker anyway so voila, they got my race down and could assume the other two’s race...
Complete crap and Big Brother intrusion...
Fight the MAN and burn it!!!!!!
I ignored the American Community Survey and the Census. I did have someone stop by for the Census... I figured I’d make at least 1 federal employee work for the paycheck!
I like the advice to look up the law if it is stated on the survey form. Make sure what you are answering, especially if considering lying. I remember some rumblings about this in the past in that backyard gardens would be illegal? This does sound rather sinister.
Let us know how it all works out!
I do own a farm, as well as have a garden so it will be interesting to see if I get one of these.
Did you have any agricultural revenue?
Did you have or sell any type of livestock, including equine, poultry or fowl, bees, or aquaculture?
Did you receive any federal or state agricultural payments?
Step 1) Fill the survey out in painstaking detail. Spare no expense in making sure of the complete accuracy, Take a photograph, making sure the details cannot be read well.
Step 2) Take the survey out back, and use it as a target for the following firearms: Ruger 10/22. Glock Model 34. M-1 Garand. Take a photograph.
Step 3) Bring the tattered survey back to the house. Douse with gasoline. Burn it. Take a photograph.
Step 4) Bring the ashes to the back yard. Dig a hole, putting the ashes in it. Take a photograph. Fill the hole in.
Step 5) If anyone comes to ask you about the survey, show them the pictures you took in Step 1-4).
You gotta be the right color, the right sex, the right ethnicity and right religion or be an atheist and the right political party. If any of the above, they will likely give you a half million to grow wildflowers and double that if you are trans-gender/bi-sexual.
Burn it and mix the ashes with your compost. If they inquire again, just say you never received such a document and next time they should try Registered Mail requesting a delivery receipt.
Have not decided what to do yet, but when they tell me I MUST respond it rubs my fur backwards right off.
I might just write “see amendment 5 in the US Constitution”.
“Survey? What survey”
Does the Ag Dept have a SWAT team yet?
I have a question. What can you grow in TX on less than 50 acres? That is less than half a quarter.
I’m not being snarky, I am seriously wondering what crop would be profitable at that small scale that would grow in TX.
We are up in Corn/Wheat/Soy country and the smallest farms around here are still over 160 acres and most of those are rented out to larger farms. Our yard at the farm was 80 acres (and we also had livestock and one of the first aquafarms in the country).
Return this note to them, along with blank survey:
My family garden is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
Please note the trespass warnings posted on my property.
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