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Amy's Place ... Poetry and Potpourri ... July, 2011
7-1-2011 | JustAmy; St.Louie1; MamaBear; Billie; Meg33

Posted on 06/30/2011 10:09:07 PM PDT by JustAmy

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To: All

Housecleaning Hints

— Windows: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 15 and leave it alone.

— Cobwebs: Artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb,thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If someone points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim “What? And spoil the mood?” (Or just throw glitter on them and call them holiday decorations.)

— Pet Hair: Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand-sewn play animals for underprivileged children. (Also keeps out cold drafts in winter.)

— Guests: If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, “I’d love you to see our den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive.”


501 posted on 07/10/2011 8:28:31 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: Dubya

Thank you.....Enjoy! :)


502 posted on 07/10/2011 8:30:17 PM PDT by luvie (RUN SARAH...R U N!!!)
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To: All

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG’S DIARY
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm - boohoo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!


503 posted on 07/10/2011 8:32:56 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: All

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’S DIARY

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing
that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from
ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced
myself to vomit on their FAVORITE chair...must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was .....Hmmm.
Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen
for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical
called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation
is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call “beer”. More importantly
I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn
what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got
to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he
reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room
his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.


504 posted on 07/10/2011 8:34:53 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: All

MORE
Dusting: If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that “This is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes.”

General Cleaning: Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself on the couch and sigh, I clean and I clean and I still don’t get anywhere.” As a last resort, light the oven, throw a teaspoon of cinnamon in a pie pan, turn off oven and explain that you have been baking cookies for a bake sale for a favorite charity and haven’t had time to clean... Works every time.
Another favorite, I think from Erma Bombeck: Always keep several get-well cards on the mantle so if unexpected guests arrive, you can say you’ve been sick and unable to clean.


505 posted on 07/10/2011 8:41:46 PM PDT by Dubya (JESUS SAVES)
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To: Dubya

DAY 775 - Vet said my weight was 14 lbs. my last visit to that Chamber of Horrors he refers to as his office. I dearly WISH that I was only ten times the size I am. That’s 140 lbs. I could kill those dratted humans and hide them in the garden if I could just GROW to ten times my current size. HOPE. FAITH. All that keeps me going. I AM BEING HELD AGAINST MY WILL, and to make it worse, my captors tell awful silly stories about all the “cute” things I do. My patience is wearing thin . . . . . if only I can just go to sleep with my head under the couch where I can’t see them; which means that they can’t see me either. Then I’ll be invisible . . . which is good . . . .


506 posted on 07/10/2011 8:53:57 PM PDT by Twinkie (For whoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. Romans 10:13)
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To: MEG33; Admin Moderator
You have a good attitude.

I'm going into the job tomorrow positive because of YOU.

Thanx for that.

Somebody walked around the complex last night and tried all the handles of vehicles - took stuff out that they found and strew them about - but that don't matter.

Ask Mom, and she'll tell you: Dad don't think EVER.

So. What?

I'm spoda care because of some ass-hat crazy what? You deleted some post of mine?

As IF that matters.

507 posted on 07/10/2011 10:23:43 PM PDT by raygun (http://bastiat.org/en/the_law DOT html)
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Comment #508 Removed by Moderator

To: raygun
Raygun, I'm remembering
you and your father as he undergoes
his surgery. Many prayers for you all.
God Bless!

509 posted on 07/11/2011 5:37:51 AM PDT by jaycee ((("His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.")))
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To: Jim Robinson; JustAmy; Billie; MEG33; jaycee; dutchess; GodBlessUSA; deadhead; LUV W; mathluv; ...

Freep mail me to be on or off the Daily Bread ping list

Occupational Hazard
July 12, 2011

My occupation is words. Whether I am writing or editing, I am using words to convey ideas so that readers can understand. I can usually see what’s wrong with someone else’s writing (though sometimes not with my own) and figure out how to fix it.

As an editor, I am paid for being critical. My job is to see what’s wrong with the way words are used. This ability becomes a disability when I carry it over into my personal life and always look for what is wrong. Focusing on what’s wrong can cause us to miss everything that’s good.

The apostle Paul had reason to focus on what was wrong in the Philippian church. Certain people were preaching the gospel out of selfish ambition to add to Paul’s suffering (Phil. 1:16). But instead of concentrating on the negative, he chose to look at the positive and rejoice in it: Jesus Christ was being preached (v.18).

God wants us to be discerning—we need to know good from bad—but He doesn’t want us to focus on the bad and become critical or discouraged. Even in circumstances that are less than ideal (Paul was writing from prison), we can find something good because in times of trouble God is still at work.

The eyes of faith when fixed on Christ
Give hope for what’s ahead,
But focus on life’s obstacles
And faith gives way to dread. —D. De Haan

When your outlook is blurred by problems, focus on Christ.

Read: Philippians 1:12-18

The things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel. —Philippians 1:12
Bible in a year:
Psalms 1-3; Acts 17:1-15


510 posted on 07/11/2011 6:00:17 AM PDT by The Mayor (Opinion is no substitute for the truth of GodÂ’s Word.)
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To: raygun

Stay off this thread, thanks.


511 posted on 07/11/2011 6:08:24 AM PDT by Sidebar Moderator
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To: FRiends; JustAmy; Billie; MEG33; yorkie; LUV W; Kitty Mittens; GailA; tiapam; oldteen; ...
~Have a Great Monday~


512 posted on 07/11/2011 9:28:56 AM PDT by jaycee ((("His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.")))
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To: jaycee

What a great picture, JC! Oh, to live where the parrots fly free!


513 posted on 07/11/2011 10:04:02 AM PDT by yorkie
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To: The Mayor; All

Cast my cares on Jesus and drop to my knees and cry for mercy. His yoke is light ...

MATTHEW 1:29-30

King James Bible
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Light, ... having eyes to see, and a heart to understand ..

Praise God!


514 posted on 07/11/2011 10:21:09 AM PDT by geologist (The only answer to the troubles of this life is Jesus. A decision we all must make.)
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To: yorkie

Thank you and I sure wish I were there at this moment. I am going through papers looking for something and I’m losing the battle. Need to quit a while and settle myself down. So thats why I wish I was somewhere else....LOL!


515 posted on 07/11/2011 10:36:18 AM PDT by jaycee ((("His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me.")))
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To: The Mayor; All
One of the major difficulties of men it they usually think, believe it is up to them to solve their desires, problems, and daily difficulties. God created the circumstances to test our response and instead of being in charge and doing what man wants to do ... it is good to lay it before the LORD with prayer and leave it there.

Thank thee Lord for thy grace, love, mercy and loving kindness, in Jesus name.

516 posted on 07/11/2011 10:39:04 AM PDT by geologist (The only answer to the troubles of this life is Jesus. A decision we all must make.)
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To: MEG33

Hi Meg! Wanted to thank you for Sunday and for all your beautiful flower post’s and your closing graphic was just so relaxing!! Thank you!! :)


517 posted on 07/11/2011 11:12:19 AM PDT by tiapam
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To: jaycee; All

518 posted on 07/11/2011 11:26:28 AM PDT by tiapam
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To: yorkie; Dubya; tiapam
Thank You


For the sweet compliments..

519 posted on 07/11/2011 11:28:39 AM PDT by MEG33 (God Bless Our Military Men And Women)
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To: jaycee

Beautiful, jaycee..I’d love to be there!


520 posted on 07/11/2011 11:29:54 AM PDT by MEG33 (God Bless Our Military Men And Women)
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