Posted on 11/06/2009 3:59:45 AM PST by Vanders9
Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping
This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford, UK :
Dear Mrs. Murray,
Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the feminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calorgas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.
10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
11.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.
12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled' PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
And; last, but not least:
14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
I look at pretty girls.
I look at pretty girls out of the corner of my eye (after having been caught by my pretty wife).
Exactly!
It helps to wander off to a separate aisle to get something.
There must be a much greater standard of pretty women where you lucky two live then...
I particularly like the tomato juice smear to the feminine products aisle. I might try that one :)
“There must be a much greater standard of pretty women where you lucky two live then.”
I live in Florida, the spectrum here is very broad. The high end isn’t bad and since its usually hot shorts and t-shirts are very common.
That’s it, I’m moving...
Shopping from other people’s carts can be a real time saver...just need a dozen eggs; and don’t want to waste time running to the back of the store? Help yourselves to the eggs in a convenient cart, and when somebody howls “Hey! Those are my eggs!” you reply “Not yet.” (Must be done BEFORE checkout.)
This has been circulating in email for years. I’ve seen it as shopping in Wal-Mart. It’s still funny though.
There’s a couple there,
I have not tried at my store.
Sunday will be fun...
Inspiring.
ROFL!!!!!
You too? Great minds think alike! :-D
Shame, shame on you ...
I look at the pretty Moms ...
to me all pretty females are girls. they may be moms as well. the ones I’m referring to are certainly old enough unlike your implication.
Funny
most people choose the checkout by how short the line is. I choose the checkout that has the cutest checkout girl.
Finally!! It took me more than a few seconds to finally figure that one out. Duh !!
Of course, it was the use of the verb "to" that got me confused.
Had you and the other poster used the verb "from" it would have made less sense but I would've figured it out more quickly.
and my wife can’t figure out why I’m so bad at finding the shortest line.
Oh, it’s made up. It’s an old list “things to do in a department store” that’s been circulating the ‘net for decades. This version was just updated into pseudo-documentary form rather than a to-do list.
Love it.
That's what my daughter and I do...we then proceed to turn every magazine with a photo of an obama or a winfrey around, so that the back of the magazine hides their pics. It's really fun to do it while at the register, and see people's reactions. Have yet to be confronted for it.
Peruse differnt carts. When you see one you like and the customer’s back is turned, take it. I once dated a guy who did this.
If I catch you doing that, I’ll just want to shake your hand.
Heck yes!
That's what I call SHOPPING.
Cutest check out girl for sure. Got caught by my daughter the other day, and I told her, Hey, I’m old, but not dead.
I wish to add a grocery store sport that we did in college: Frozen turkey bowling.
So that's why they call them "ButterBall". Learn something every day. "Bowling" season is coming up soon!
My husband stays in the car...and looks at pretty girls.
I’m retired, my wife still works.
I do all the grub shopping and most of the cooking.
To get the 5% “senior” discount, I go on Thursdays the only day it is offered.
Unfortunately, none of the cute moms are around then.
I do get satisfaction out of helping the really elderly with their shopping.
What is “Outdoor clothing”?
Bet you didn’t notice that the Viper logo is an upside down version of Daffy Duck.
I’ll want to show this to Mrs Magslinger when she gets home from grocery shopping.
ping
Clothing that can be worn outdoors, silly! ;-P
(Jackets, etc.)
BFL
Funny?
My wife and I have an understanding: look, but don't touch. This happened after I caught her ogling Jeff Gordon on the tv. I asked her would she leave me if Jeff Gordon knocked on the door. Her reply: Jeff Gordon would never knock on our door. How's that for reassurance?
Saw the exact same list years ago, but it was about how to entertain yourself in a Walmart
I watch the comely moms or gals discreetly....typical pastime for me....in the 60s it was called girl watching.
I do most of the grocery shopping...unusual for a chauvinist like me but I like it and wifey doesn't so much.
I of course buy whatever she says and bring it home on bended knee.
I also take my eldest daughter to buy her groceries when she wants...she's on my dole.
lol...a fellow traveler
my daughters know how I am....they just suffer through it
It could be a sign you’re getting old when you would rather save a couple bucks than look at pretty girls.
just sayin
I choose the checkout BEHIND the checkout with the cutest girl...
Thanks listenhillary!
I saw that on Izsmile early this morning!
I want that as a belt buckle!
Thanks for thinking of me! ;-)
I chose the check out gal that looks to have a brain cell or two and is moving the line quickly.
That’s probably racist or some sort of anti-PC behavior. Discriminating against slow people? People who appear to not be competent?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.