Posted on 11/02/2009 9:59:51 AM PST by EveningStar
(Excerpt) Read more at foodnetworkhumor.com ...
ping
Alton Brown RULES!
Agreed. :)
ping
The Guy Fieri/douche bag bit was pure awesomeness.
Every time we see him, wifey and I wonder how long it takes him to decorate and fluff himself each morning.
LOVE. IT. !!!
The Guy Fieri/douchebag thing was great. And boy do they have Sandra Lee nailed. She is so smarmy! I cannot stand her.
Nigella all the way for me!
Well, he is douche bag! :)
Thanks for the link, LOL. I like FN, but the quality of its programming needs some work. Please, no more challenge and chopped shows! And no more find-the-next-star shows, ugh. And now HGTV does it, too.
They nailed it with this one.....(Andrew Cuomo's live in girlfriend)
I’ve heard they’re putting out a new cereal called “Emeril Krispies.” They’re like Rice Krispies but instead of going “Snap, Crackle, Pop” they spin around the bowl shouting “BAM! BAM!!”
I miss the old lineup with David Rosengarten, Mario Batali, and the Two Tamales. More cooking—less features.
The creepy Halloween meat loafs win the prize!
If you would like to be on or off the ping list let me know.
Oh gosh, I had to look up David Rosengarten to jog my memory. Yes, he was good. I miss Mario but won't watch that goofy me-and-ol-bittman-travel-spain-with-young-chicks show on PBS, LOL. I even miss Emeril at this point. And what happened to Paula Dean and Rachael Ray? Rachael was this somewhat demure thing when she first started and then morphed into the mouth that roared. And Paula was endearing at first and turned into this cackler with the hair. IA with FNH, all of Ina's male friends are gay, every last one of them. We get it, Ina, you're enlightened. Talk about heavy-handed.
Drink...
I've always loved this photo of Giada bathing in the blood of the infidels.
FN still does cooking shows. They are just on in the daytime whereas night has given way to features. I still can't understand though why anybody would dump Mario Batali and keep Sandra Lee.
You noticed that too, huh?
I just can’t understand how any guy could take a look at that and want to go roll around with another dude.
Guy grew up here in Ferndale Ca in Humboldt county and he gives credit to several local chefs for his training...
Sandra Lee could dredge me in flour any time.
I really don’t think Guy is a “douchebag”... He looks pretty ridiculous, and he’s pretty extroverted, but seems to treat people well in his ‘Diners’ show. Then again, I didn’t watch the TNFS season that he won, and that show could make me hate just about anyone (Bob Tuschman and Susie Fogelson, particularly).
Yea but man has he thinned up top over the years, and the more he thins, the longer he lets it grow, and its just not a good look.
Its OK Alton, we like you no matter how bald you are, you don’t need to keep trying to pretend you aren’t.
FoodNetwork needs to bring in Nigella....
OK. I take back my douche bag comment. The article is still funnier than hell, though. :)
I even miss Ming Tsai over some of the sex ghouls playing cooks...
C’mon, the blown-out peroxide hair alone just screams guido douchebaggery; and don’t even get me started on his taste in bowling shirts.
I think the FN person most deserving of ridicule is probably Marc “Double Dare” Summers, due to his horribly failed attempts at wit or puns in introducing ‘Unwrapped’ segments. Actually, that entire show could go, as it’s basically the same thing every time... “XXXXXXs start out as corn syrup, flour, water and flavoring that are mixed in a giant vessel... the mixture is extruded into cornstarch molds... after they’ve cooled, the XXXXXXs take a tumble in these rotating drums while a glossy coating is applied... then it’s off to packaging...” blah blah blah.
Maybe we are just using different definitions of the term.
And the two fats ladies in food prep television are to food prep what SciFi3000Theater was to scifi.
As single man, I ask, is there any batchelor out there who would not eagerly spend open evenings listening and watching Sndra Lee slink around their kitchen?
FR curmudgeounry is flooding the place!
That actually explains a lot. I always wondered who that broad was involved with to have her own show. Her show is basically making the recipes stamped on product labels, a few dozen cocktails, and coordinating her Kitchen Aide mixer to her outfit.
Maybe since I am a woman I am immune to Sandra’s looks and only see the bat poop crazy in her eyes. She looks like the type that if you didn’t call her back when you said you would, she would calmly come over to your house and burn it down.
I once joked that I made my very own Sandra Lee cookbook by taping the back of several Hamburger Helper boxes to a Boone’s Farm catalog.
You aren’t far off! LMAO
See posts 3 & 4. Alton Brown is f'n hilarious. :)
The Good Eats progrma is so loaded with entertainment, campy segments, that folks don’t realize they’re learning chemistry fundamentals for exquisite food prep. And Alton’s running commentary on Iron Chef America makes the show!
Alton Brown is the BEST!
That’s the type batchelors like, didn’t you know? ... They’re at least alive ...
BTW, some of Paula’s lines of late are so good that one thinks she must have a writer working for her! ... If not, she’s having entirely too much fun on that show to be paid for it.
As a man, having once dealt with a woman who is bat poop crazy, I can see it too.
It’s not just that, though. She’s smarmy and fake. No matter how attractive she is, that just doesn’t do anything for me.
Give me Nigella Lawson any day!
It's sad that some of the best entertainment on television is a cooking show. But then, Brown admits that his show's concept is mostly Julia Child-meets-Monty Python.
Now see, you’ve just salted the watermelon! ... Sandra is the sort a batchelor seeks, while Nigella (who bites, I’m told) is the sort a man seeks for a wife and life-long companion. What a woman!
Absolutely, positively the better the sooner!!!
Andrew Cuomo lives with Sandra Lee?? Are you positive??
Unlike most people around here it seems, I happen to love Guy and his show. I guess it’s just my kind of food. I also think he’s a very nice guy. Don’t like Alton’s show at all. To me it’s boring. I did like him when he went on his motorcycle trip across the country.
I like the different kinds of shows the FN has on. I think just cooking shows are boring. I can open a cookbook and find a receipe.
Is anyone else concerned with how much weight our buddy Alton has put on? The worst place for it, too. He's got the classic "apple-shape" first heart-attack by 50 body sadly.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.