Posted on 10/20/2009 9:23:45 AM PDT by GQuagmire
We would herewith like to place a ban on the following words, phrases, and expressions, for reasons of overuse, offensiveness, or just because. Plus: Profanity alternatives!
Read more: http://www.esquire.com/features/funny-slang-language-dictionary/banned-words-1109#ixzz0UUgXOwS2
(Excerpt) Read more at esquire.com ...
I say... tummy, belly button and bye bye.
Then again I have an 18 month old daughter.
I think we should stop incorporating the word “incorporate”
in sentences where the words mix, blend, meld or add will suffice.
The only one I can agree with: C-—
Well, frack!
Maybe that's what they want!
So, I’m supposed to let a fag-mag like Esquire tell me what a “man” shouldn’t say?
No man would buy a magazine that’s 95% clothing advertisements with heavy gay overtones.
Yes I always live my life by what the Esquire experts jot down for us ignerant fellers.
I breathlessly await the 19 things women should never say article that must be in the works, you know, for diversity’s balance.
Looks like some putz’s metro sexual vocabulary trending gay...
What about "democrats are all a bunch of boobs"? What's wrong with that?
What kind of pussy wrote that stupid article? LOL
Hey honey have you gained
some weight in your rear-end?
That dress you wear reminds me
of my old girlfriend
And where'd you get those shoes?
I think they're pretty lame
Would you stop talking 'cause
I'm trying to watch the game
If you're a man who wants to live
a long and happy life
These are the things you
don't say to your wife
I planned a hunting trip
next week on your birthday
I didn't ask you 'cause I knew
it would be OK
Go make some dinner while
I watch this fishing show
I taped it over our
old wedding video
If you're a man who wants to live
a long and happy life
These are the things you
don't say to your wife
Your cooking is OK but not
like mother makes
The diamond in the ring
I bought you is a fake
Your eyes look puffy dear
are you feeling ill?
Happy anniversary
I bought you a treadmill
If you're a man who wants to live
a long and happy life
These are the things you
don't say to your wife
If your a man who doesn't want
to get killed with a knife
These are the things you
don't say to your wife
lol
Left off the list:
“I do.”
“No really, I like small boobs. Well, yours at least.”
The correct answer to the question, “Does this dress make me look fat?” is “How ‘bout them Mets?”
If you ever hear a woman cussing another woman, to other women when the object of the cussing is not present and you as a man are not known to be hearing the cussing, THAT is when you hear what you must never say in the presence of a woman. The nastiness of such a cussing always has the “C” word included, spat out like the most vile tasting thing the cuss er can verbalize.
That’s a cool list. Oops.
We can’t say “boobs”? Stuff!
I’ll post more later. I gotta go pee before I wet my slacks. Dadgum!
It can't get any worse.
What could go wrong?
Traffic looks light today.
Yes your butt does look big.
Your sister really looks hot tonight.
Uh Uh Uh... profanity alternatives, remember?
"You don't have the guts to pull the trigger, lard ass."
One thing a “man” should never read: Esquire.
I put this in the same category as the "20 Things A Man REALLY wants in bed" articles......written by women, for women, to be published in women's magazines.
Gayest.
Article.
Ever.
I’m showing my age, but just when did the mags start referrring to a woman’s breasts as “her rack”?
Next to that, “boobs” sounds pretty, feminine and something worth looking at.
Remember Steve Martin’s “I believe”?
“Golden bozos” and “winnebagos” were forbidden terms.
Can you agree that a man should never say “all wee-wee’ed up?”
That’s funny, most of the list is basically kid words, then they have a list of “profanity alternatives” that are all basically kid words.
Esquire is the new monitor of what is and is not manly?
It’s like having Libya on the UN Human Rights commission.
It’s like letting the Russians tour our ICBM silos.
It’s like letting a Kenya-born, neo-Maoist muslim be President
It’s like letting gay pastors run Lutheran Churches
It’s like the French having a more coherent foreign policy than the US
It’s like the RNC backing an abortion-lover with union ties for US Rep in NY 23
It’s like the Fed Chairman directly brokering deals between failing banks
It’s like John Stewart having more journalistic integrity than CNN
It’s like letting a couple of kids in Halloween costumes with a video camera scoop the entire multi-billion dollar news business in exposing ACORN for supporting under-age prostitution rackets with taxpayer dollars and smuggled illegal aliens.
It’s like building a monument to the patriots that died in United 93 in the shape of a crescent facing mecca.
It’s like having the US military and NATO retreat from a sh!thole country that doesn’t possess a fighter jet or a tank.
It’s like having a gay pedophile sympathiser be in charge of ‘Safe Schools’.
Top of my list is:
“Let me be clear...”
Now I know why I don’t read Esquire.
For the same reason I don’t read Cosmo...
1. “I’ll take a copy of Esquire, please.”
Sometimes C-- just has to be said, as when talking about ex-wives.
It’s an insult to actually useful breasts....:)
Well I Was going to Reach out and tell people not to get their Panties in a bunch over this.. because its Über-silly. Language is a Mixed bag of things, kind of like what is in your Tummy after eating a Veggie burger, so relax and drink some Vino and do what comes Natch.
Most people are just Wingin’ it when they are talking, so no need to get so Nippy about it like you are some kind of Miley or Brittney.
I have seen some people so uncomfortable when talking they jump up and down like they have to Pee and gaze at their Belly button like a silly C-—.. (yeah I had to throw that word in carefully lol)
They lack the Derring-do to speak in public. So Going forward most language is pretty basic, It is what it is Folks, and its not like you have to act like Boobs to get the idea across.
Teens these days have their own set of rules when talking. You can see them in their baggy Slacks, those hip Gen-Y’ers, drinking their espresso and chatting willy nilly about who they can Make love to.
I never understood the fascination they have with cell phones. You see them every day, phones ringing, shouting Yell-o when they pick up. Its probably only Mommy on the other end, but they have to look cool, even in the way they say Bye Bye
(there, I have done it.. I have fully ticked off the word banners lol)
Good one! You’re quick!
Sheesh!
Was that all from the top of your head?
You are my new grievances list hero!
WELL DONE!
Better to vent your spleen than hunt elected officials like its elk season I always say.
What a strange list. What about wee-wee’d up?
Hooey!
I caught myself saying
“At the end of the day...”
the other day. I read somewhere that phrase is also on the “No” list.
Along with the world’s worst phrase:
“Whatever”.
no, dear soul, the correct answer to the question “does this make me look fat?” is as follows:
“i am too blinded by your awesome and radiant beauty to know the answer to that question, darling.”
Boobs!!!????
Now we shouldn’t say boobs??
Forgetaboutit. I have cleaned up my language a great deal over the years, but boobs is staying. Heck, I might even start using it even more now.
Sorry, but I refuse to go back to nummy-nums. ;>)
The “c” word is the worst and I have only used that word when referring to Pelosi and only when I am all alone in the house.... that vile word will get you killed.
Boobs, boobs, boobs...... boobs is what makes the world go around.
Were it not for boobs, we would all be dead.
Well done.
20. I’d hit it.
LOL... I bought mine a riding lawn mower once.
I would never get away with that.
I remember one time my wife wanted to have an argument, over what and why was never really clear to me. Her eyes were glowing red, you could light shining out of her ears and the pores on her scalp. He was beating me on the chest with her tiny little fists, yelling “What do you say to that! What do you say to that?”
At a loss for an answer, I held her shoulders gently in my arms, looked into her eyes and replied, “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more temperate and more fair.” Game, set, match to Lonesome.
Uhh, what’s “Expresso”?
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